his depravity...

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by CreepyPants on Saturday, March 9, 2013 and has 93 replies.
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...knows no bounds.
so i wrote somewhere in the cap forum that my ex scorp told me last monday that he doesnt want us contacting each other at all after i'd tried calling to say hi and see what was new and exciting in his life because I genuinely care.
well i got royally shot down after he made his wishes clear. and i, genuinely caring as I'd said, totally respected his wishes with admitted disappointment.
NOT BUT 3 DAYS LATER, he emails me that he thinks of me all the time, misses me, loves me, hopes I'm doing well etc.
I dont respond. Not because I didnt want to, or wanted to but thought better. I just wasnt sure. I dont act on confusion. I try really hard not to.
The next day he asks if I'm going to a colleague's going away lunch party. He says it would be really nice to see me and say hi. That one I did reply to. I said that I'd like that and I'll see him there.
We both end up getting there half hr late. I wave at him as he's parking, head in, sit next to some people I know. He comes in and sits next to me.
We are completely normal, no effort on my part at least... cap coolness and calm demeanor works greatly in my favor many times. We talk casually here and there. I told him, I'm talking to a new company and am going to write a bus. letter and he offered to help. We really dont talk much more about that.
Lunch is over. He mentions he has to leave on a drive to southern cal and is out the door. I thought he was already gone... I'm still hugging and saying goodbyes and am walking out the door and I see him back tracking to catch up to me, and he walks me to my car. So I tell him that I got his email, I thanked him, told him I love him and miss him too and we hug. I handed him his mail that still comes to my place. I've asked him ad nauseum to change his mailing address. But at anyrate, none of this is a difficult for me; goodbyes, hugs, nice words, etc.
Last night, I draft my letter. Was unsure about a couple lines and remembered he'd offered help, so I call him. Get a strange message saying "the person you're trying to reach isnt accepting calls at this time"
I dont really think much of it, until this morning when I realize the only time I've heard that is when I call my mom who is notoriously blocking all calls. LOL
So, ladies and gents, I'm quite certain he's blocked my number. Not 100% sure, but I think that's what is going down.
Is it just me, or is this guy a FUCKING IDIOT?
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So I'm breaking this down for myself and I'll share it...
He drunk dials me a couple weeks ago and that's ok. Partly my fault I suppose for allowing it.
I call him in sincerity to see whats up in his life and I get completely and utterly rejected and told not to contact at all.
I respect it.
3 days later I get a seemingly sweet mushy emotional email about him thinking of me all the time, loves me, misses me, hopes I'm well...
Following day I'm asked to say hi to him at a lunch
lunch is completely normal and nice.
Next day I come to find my number is, in all likeliness and near certainty, BLOCKED by him.

this shit is goddamn laughable.
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lesson learned ex scorp... i will never take him seriously again.
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Game playing at its finest
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Posted by Marrakesha
@CreepyPants: Honestly, leave your ex alone! What's done is done! I honestly really think you contacted him because you still have feelings for him, and it wasn't just some innocent "genuinely care" about him. I think you were feeling him out, but leave that shit alone. It's not going to go well.


Agreed. Why do people try to be amicable with shithead exes
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Posted by Marrakesha
@CreepyPants: Honestly, leave your ex alone! What's done is done! I honestly really think you contacted him because you still have feelings for him, and it wasn't just some innocent "genuinely care" about him. I think you were feeling him out, but leave that shit alone. It's not going to go well.


I have been as honest to myself as i can possibly be for a flawed person, and to anyone else I've talked to about this ENTIRE break up... even here on dxp. YES I DO STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. I am not trying to hide that. ALL of my actions are driven by my feelings and I am desperately trying to drive my feelings with my heart and my head.
except the feeling him out part... thats not true. i dont toy with people. i meant what i said. i wanted to hear what was new with him. i wanted it to be a normal phone conversation to shoot the shit. I've been in love with him for over a year. I CHANGED TOO MUCH OF MYSELF FOR THE RELATIONSHIP to be able to go completely cold and have him absent from my life. If this isn't innocent then was it malicious??? lol
i've already said i got shot down and i respected his decision. It took a couple of weeks for me to see AND for him to communicate in a clear and understandable way that no contact is what HE needs.
But lo... it is not what HE is DOING. Intentional or a by-product of his own confusion, he's fucking with me.
I GET IT... this is a learning lesson. I'M LEARNING. a helluva lot better than he is. and yes i have you all to thank for this learning too.
ScorpioFem79, try to be a little understanding about the above rather than talk about me as if I'm deranged for wanting to know someone who's been a major part of my life. Ouch? He may be behaving like a shit head, but I hope we'd all still defend someone who played a major and positive role in our lives, improving it etc, even if they stumbled and fell a little in their graces with us.
And YES I am REALLY touchy right now. If anything came off harsh... you know what to do.
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Marrakesha... naive is more of what that phone call was. and too damn hopeful that we could maintain a friendly rapport.
all.lessons.learned
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i hope you're right intrigued. I need to get a grip... again.
but honestly for the moment, i'm happy in my anger because i'm gonna go tear my ass up at the gym and stop at the store on the way back for a couple bottles of red and some effing chocolate. you scorpios drive wine and chocolate profits for evvurreee reason... i swear.
then i'm going to paint and make art. then i'll post my creations on "The Arts" forum.
pmonsta... right back atcha xoxo.
seraph, thanks hon... ive got a lot of other stuff going on in life pulling me forward for sure. like i said.. im learning here. everything you said makes perfect sense.
clueless, marrakesha and scorpfem... thank you for the feedback, ladies.
...

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Posted by IntriguedScorp
Well honestly if your first reaction was that he was depraved. You know cap maybe you should be looking inward on how you perceive this guy.

You broke up with him!


Posted by IntriguedScorp
Every now and then step back and think: "how could what I'm doing be interpreted by those we love".
Try to be less subtle and a little more out there.
I think we always know why we are doing things and rarely they are from a negative place but let's face it our ways are mysterious to the people not living in our heads.
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I'm not trying to throw this in your face, but I also hate being put on the defense. i did break up with him. i see your point, scorp. i did suggest we take a few weeks and go our separate ways. at the near unanimous suggestion of friends here on dxp! he wanted us to stay in touch. that was his request. he drunk dialed me. i called him a week later. marrakesha if you want to claim that my intent was to rekindle in one phone call... make that claim. my intent in the phone call might have been naive, but you are right... i am not THAT stupid. and the only game i'm playing, or was playing, with myself was that he and i could remain friends and that he would be mature about all of this. that is the only delusion i've been fostering.
at any rate, i'm not sure how many times i can post this timeline of events, but MY point is that there is a glaring double standard here. Dont be confused on where the double standard is. Since when do break ups have to be so cold turkey. Every break up I've been through before was respectful, gentle, peaceful, not confusing, and friendly. Thats been my experience with breakups... you scorpios obviously know these things from diff perspectives and experiences. I dont. I can now accept that this one is different.
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Ex is an ex...
I had one that tried to break up with me twice for stupid reasons (honestly he had no reason) and when he official broke it he went back to his psychotic and abusive ex that he had dated before me. He crawls back a few months later and he said he regretted going back to her and she stole his stereo. I said you do realize I'm not taking you back and he goes "youre not?". I told him no because he screwed up.. That there was no real reason he had to break up in fact he had bettered his life because of me. He didn't know what to say so he hung up.
Point is there is a reason why ppl break up. They want peace away from the other person
Give him that peace even if it was his fault you guys broke up
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^^yes... i've respected his wishes for space. he buckled under his own request and i do not want my head to spin anymore.
so im just going to keep the distance no matter what he does.
anytime i've had myself move on, he comes around and i let him re-open the wound.
and it wasnt really a his fault or my fault break-up. or i just dont like thinking of it in those terms. there were aspects i couldnt deal with anymore despite our combined efforts at changing them. it wasnt happening fast enough or at all. could be just as easy to say it was my fault for not being patient enough... but that's a whole set of questions i've already decided to get past. everyone will side differently on that front. i can accept that.
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Posted by CreepyPants
^^yes... i've respected his wishes for space. he buckled under his own request and i do not want my head to spin anymore.
so im just going to keep the distance no matter what he does.
anytime i've had myself move on, he comes around and i let him re-open the wound.
and it wasnt really a his fault or my fault break-up. or i just dont like thinking of it in those terms. there were aspects i couldnt deal with anymore despite our combined efforts at changing them. it wasnt happening fast enough or at all. could be just as easy to say it was my fault for not being patient enough... but that's a whole set of questions i've already decided to get past. everyone will side differently on that front. i can accept that.


Don't give him the opportunity
Block his number, ignore him if he's at the same events, don't answer your door
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tiziani, that's what ive been making a concerted effort towards. brutal honesty always helps me move on, but it's not a smooth path when you allow yourself to admit you still have feelings.
thanks mellymel, ti sf79 and poisson... btw, believe me i thought about blocking too! this is more tough than i'd imagine it would be and i could easily rage over all of this... i almost did this morning. this is the perfect time to practice self-control ... a challenging thing for a watery cap.
i'm off to seek peace and transcendence.
thank you all... seriously... thanks for challenging me too.
http://jimsmarketingblog.com/2012/05/20/love-and-light/
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Big deal. My ex scorpio blocked my number many times and than always unblocked. Get some thicker skin...
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I think your ex has done something you should have done a while ago, which is block him . Have his emails diverted to be automatically delete, screen his calls, delete him from your contact list so you don't accidentally pocket dial him, delete him off FB. He DOES NOT exists. You can't simply plan to not contact him, you need to remove all opportunities to do so until your heart catches up with your mind. Scorps can do this as easy as breathing. Take a lesson from him.
All that other stuff? He still wants to know he has options. Now I am saying this not knowing the full story btw the two of you and your history, but this is what it looks like to me from what you have written here.
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get some higher standards...
clueless... i read your first post. part of me agrees with you and everyone else who said more or less the same thing. time will tell.
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phoenix... i thought about it, but he needs all the blocking stuff more than me. i was just fine this last week with the prospect of not contacting him for a few months let alone a few weeks. i'd take a page from his book if i needed it and i won't need it. i'll put money on it that he unblocks like Sag86's ex and tries to contact me before i try contacting him... by email, or whatever. Esp after this little episode. lol
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I guess in his mind the breakup was initiated by you and on your terms, and this "friendship" is his way of getting his power back and will only be on his terms.
It can seem harsh, but really you contacting him could be torture as you sent a message that you no longer want all of him, only parts.
Id just leave it all alone.
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it's not really a "plan to not contact him" that would mean there's a desire TO contact him that I need to reckon with. I'm over that. I was long over that on Monday when he plainly requested that we dont. I'm a big girl, I can handle that. I've got a life outside of this issue that's more than distracting.
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I don't need any stantards because I don't need a boyfriend I'm 23years old
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Posted by ellessque
why are you tormenting yourself? *sigh*


you look purdy elle
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Inana... precisely! those are exactly my thoughts. he wants this all on his terms. sure, man, whatever! he can have his terms! lol doesnt mean i'll be responding for a long time.
Elle... ?! what did i do??? Sad i mean, trust me, if he emails me again and asks about someone's event or ANYTHING where we might see each other in person, he'll just never hear back from me! though part of me wonders if there's anything i can do that is "the right thing" because i feel like even ignoring, blocking, blowing off, icing out... will ALL incite a reaction from him. i hope i'm wrong and he just gets over it in a lil more time.
Sag, you're cute. well, with that line of reasoning, how can i not take your advice to heart. lol
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yes Elle... very hot! ^_^
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It wasn't advice it was an opinion. Yea I guess cause I don't write 34930249 posts a day about my ex I'm not normal.
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I won't worry about it. I'm sure he'll unblock you
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"if ever"
that's what i'm going to have to deal with next... letting that idea sink in. i can handle going a few months without "stressing" over it. eventually i'll get way past it all. i may be completely moved on in my romantic life... HE may be completely moved on in his romantic life, but it's still up in the air if he matures about us even that far down the road. i mean, by then it probably wont be so tough to deal with *grumbles* but it will still sting. pun not intended.
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*sigh* I've done this plenty of times to girls when I have no control over my feelings. I rather turn my phone off than to keep it on & she doesn't call...you're in the driver's seat, relax & cut my fellow scorp some slack.....
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Posted by Sag89
It wasn't advice it was an opinion. Yea I guess cause I don't write 34930249 posts a day about my ex I'm not normal.


an opinion that eeeeerily resembled advice... o.O
everyone copes differently. writing 34930249 posts might help. i already feel a lil better... by 14930249, I might feel high as a kite. truth is i cant tell my friends about what is going on... because they are his friends too. lol dxp gets the brunt of it.
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yea, shelf stocking for the moment is a good idea. sags right, i might vomit at how much i've thought of this today....
Posted by nov13thscorp
*sigh* I've done this plenty of times to girls when I have no control over my feelings. I rather turn my phone off than to keep it on & she doesn't call...you're in the driver's seat, relax & cut my fellow scorp some slack.....


not being facetious, but i love how you guys and gals take ownership over your fellow scorpios. you really do.
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Posted by CreepyPants
Posted by Sag89
It wasn't advice it was an opinion. Yea I guess cause I don't write 34930249 posts a day about my ex I'm not normal.


an opinion that eeeeerily resembled advice... o.O
everyone copes differently. writing 34930249 posts might help. i already feel a lil better... by 14930249, I might feel high as a kite. truth is i cant tell my friends about what is going on... because they are his friends too. lol dxp gets the brunt of it.
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oh, man that sucks. That must be awkward.
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It shows really poor interpersonal skills if just " hide away " from things tho.
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CP,
Everything in nature is self-healing; all creations, including you two. So if you stop feeding to each other, you both will heal naturally in time, it's what nature does. What you both need to do is to manage the flow of misunderstandings coming into your lives and the chaos they generate as much as you can. Unfortunately in this relationship you can only do your part. Hopefully your decision will put him in the position to heal himself.
So hold all your broken heart pieces together, allow it to stabilize and heal; until that's achieved, there is nothing productive you can offer each other. Don't try to control the things you can not control. You'll only break yourself and it can even lead you to destroy the one you were trying to protect.
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"so im just going to keep the distance no matter what he does."

NO!to that^^^^^^that's too close for you and your vulnerable nature. He needs to be put into nonexistence to see that you no longer are giving him permission to screw with you again. Forget him!
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thanks RH, exo and LIB. i'm ok with being vulnerable... like ray's heart said, i cant control what he does, but i can control what i do... yes, i can control myself even if i am vulnerable. and well, i am. that i cant exactly fight. but it's not to say that I'm leaving myself vulnerable to him per se. we've kept our lives pretty well separate so far. and i kinda feel like the blocking was as mellymel said... a tactic to block himself as well ...smh. i'm def. learning more about him even now and i didnt realize he'd need all of this and would be struggling so hard... Sad
exo, detachment will be the mantra in my head... thanks lovely.
i thought about that too seraph and elle. lol that chart scares me more than my ex's chart.


march 18th, where are you? !!!!
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Posted by CreepyPants
we've kept our lives pretty well separate so far.


...aside from recent communication.
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StingerBabe... your fervor is intoxicating and i appreciate your sentiments. ahhh if only a tormented scorp could be reminded of everything you said. scorps seem to get lost in their emotions. from deep love, to cold indifference, to animosity, to regret and angst, to hate and vindictiveness... and to the point of fear and self-loathing almost. shit, i'd get lost too. but you're right, it doesnt make sense some of the things scorps do... at least not right away. having a pisces moon has helped me understand him A LOT, too much for too long and I think the sudden and recent change where i've kinda revoked my emotionally understanding and giving nature has caused him to throw a tantrum. the problem with that moon placement though is that it can be a chameleon of it's surroundings. it's too much sometimes
and speaking of... moon transits pisces 'til when? just a couple days, no? i miss the bejeezus out of him right now. which might make me officially insane. GAWD I'm such a pisces mooner!
so he emailed me today and it just said this...
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjItGKuj0PI&feature=youtu.be"
...

he liked to quote peyton mannings "love that tapenade". it always made me laugh.
times like this i totally get why strong pisces placements are inclined to be pill poppers... i need lithium.
i'm gonna opt for my homeopathic lemon balm tincture instead... and in case anyone is curious, i didnt respond to his email.
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<"`.
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QS, thanks doll. that's a really good outsider looking in perspective. it makes a lot of sense to me and reminds me of what elle had written in one of my other HALP threads.
a heart breaks and it learns. i know he's going through the same thing. i wonder what he's learning.
taurusbelle, lol... my older sis sent me that exact same gif a while ago, and i've been hanging onto it, DYING to send it to him for a laugh... but i kinda think he wont see the humor in it. *shrugs* maybe later Tongue
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lolololol who knows... maybe one of his friends already sent it to him.
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this was bound to happen at some point and it will happen again.
my ex and i have similar jobs. diff companies and diff specialties. but we both work in hospitals and surgery centers.
so i ran into him today. actually he nearly ran into me. completely caught him off guard, and me too a little, but since i knew the hospitals schedule of surgeries, i suspected he might be there. actually... he's no idiot, he prob knew i'd be around too.
he was running out of an OR and nearly knocked me over...
Him: (very surprised, but immediately softens) "Hiii"
Me: (straightening my things he almost knocked over) "Hi"
Him: "How are you?"
Me: (looking at him with a smile) "I'm amazing! How are you??" ...by the way... that wasnt a lie nor fake.
Him: "I'm better now"
Me: "Oh? What was wrong???"
Him: "I miss you"
Me: "If you miss me, why would you have blocked my number?"
Him: "Because I'm silly"
Me: (starting to walk by him and into my OR) "You are very silly!"
Him: (yelling after me) "You're silly!"
He was tearing up and a little choked up, guys. If any of you think I'm torturing myself... I might be nothing in comparison to whatever he's trying to accomplish with himself.
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Posted by CluelessCancer
I told you he is in massive pain. I'm telling you, that Scorp is crying himself to sleep at night. He is attempting to save himself some anguish. he got it Bad. Let it burn.
LMAO Creepypants, you got that thang GIRL. WORK IT.



yes, agreed, but damn CC, you are more sadistic than any scorp I know
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Most scorps would be deliriously happy too and PERHAPS say thank you God, finally a turning point, and maybe work it out...
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MAYBE. If it wasn't beyond the point of no return. My virgo has finally (and very recently) confessed to his affairs that I was repeatedly gas-lighted over. He did it after we have been divorced for years and years. Should have come clean earlier. I would have forgiven him. So maybe I am hypocritical, I do have time frames
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by AreTwoFour
Most scorps would be deliriously happy too and PERHAPS say thank you God, finally a turning point, and maybe work it out...


Hint ..creepypants this was meant for yousmile
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I wasn't really aiming it at CP. Her scorp-guy was being a jerk and being emotionally abusive going by her posts. If he hasn't owned that S H i T, she should NEVER take hime back, because he hadn't learned a damn thing and will likely get an ego boost from it
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by AreTwoFour
Most scorps would be deliriously happy too and PERHAPS say thank you God, finally a turning point, and maybe work it out...


Right. So you understand my jealousy. I love Scorp emotional depth man...it doesn't feel so cold. Right now I feel like I'm in Antarctica. I need warmth. Tears and choking is real as it gets.
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If a virgo gets that way in front of you, they will HATE you forever and ever for witnessing it.
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That is the caveat...
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They cheat in their quest for thinking they deserve perfect? Maybe their venus is sucky? Maybe it is a mutable thing? I really don't know. But they can do it and appear saintly, so maybe its just because they can pull it off so well? Dunno
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Hmmm i'm willing to risk that for beautiful kids and 10 years of marriage, than he can go fuck himself.

They can tell what your motives are. I don't know why, but they can
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Posted by CluelessCancer
Posted by AreTwoFour
They cheat in their quest for thinking they deserve perfect? Maybe their venus is sucky? Maybe it is a mutable thing? I really don't know. But they can do it and appear saintly, so maybe its just because they can pull it off so well? Dunno


It's crazy...sigh...true monogamy is dead. the Virgo man killed it. bahahhaha
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They had some help from leos, scorps, caps, picses, libras, aries, cancers, tauruses, geminis (oh I could elaborate), aquas, sags, etc
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