Taurus - Pisces, better off friends than lovers?

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by piscesreisen on Tuesday, December 24, 2013 and has 30 replies.
It's strange that lately I've had at least three taurus men 'after' me... But these tauruses are also usually attached in some ways, so they want to keep our 'friendship', but of course I couldn't do it because when feelings are involved, the friendship is not going to be real and it wont be fair to any of the people involved.
Two of them are about my age, they are attached, and yet continue to want to see me because "It's comforting." or "It feels permanent." ??? What does that even mean.
One older taurus man even go as far as coming to places where I usually go as well to meet me coincidentally and talk to me (I found out were deliberate, as he told me so later on). He's probably the one who confuses me the most, since he knows how I feel and I've walked away a few times but he kept trying to be in my life. He kept saying our lives just intersect, we will see each other again even if we decided to walk off to different paths, like fate. He kept saying he can't date two people at the same time (he is seeing someone) and keep saying "we're friends." But I told him I can't be just friends, so I decided to gracefully back off and move on. But he wouldn't let me. Even when he said he would try to not see me for a month to move on, but then he continue to 'catch' me somewhere and talk to me or be active on social media.
(In that older taurus case, maybe I really should go for the last resort of blocking/cut off communication fully, but that seems a bit much.. albeit maybe necessary for now...)
It's confusing, because they are all attached or choose other women, yet emotionally willing to be close to me. I know how friendship is, and these aren't normal friendships (but still non-physical, thank goodness), which is why I want to walk away Sad While it's flattering that they share to me their deepest worries (or so they claim), they cannot offer me what I want, and it's painful for me...
I can see why Tauruses are more compatible with Cancers or Scorpios, they have a bit more of a defense.
Maybe in the future I can offer true friendship- when I'm over them. Also, I don't want to be in any tauruses harem Tongue
am I being a selfish/unevolved pisces?
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Thank you, it's hard and I feel guilty walking away from very good friendships (especially with the older taurus), but I always feel pain when I see him with her. So it's unhealthy Sad for me.
He wanted me to confront the feeling (of jealousy) and get over it, but I can't.
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"they can't have their cake and eat it too."
I've tried to make excuses but it all boils down to that, seems like.
I still feel really guilty, but I guess people come and go...
PVAF:
Maybe. His reasoning is he wants me to be stronger, but in the hindsight it seems like this is a game to him.
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Regarding the older bull I think somehow he knows I decided to pull back, he is doing the same. 180 degrees difference! So cold! Kind of stings a bit, but it makes the whole thing easier... like a bitter pill to swallow. I will miss him, but I guess this is for the best for both of us.
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I was talking to a taurus who pursued me with the intentions of being in a relationship but asked we take things slow which I didn't have a problem.
But I later found out that he had just got out of a relationship and he wasn't ready for another one and was looking for somebody to be his friend first more than anything since friendship mattered most to him.
I felt like if he wanted me as a friend and nothing more; he should have said that from the word go. He did the guilt tripping every time I tried to walk away and I would feel bad and stay. Once I realized that he was just doing that to keep me around; I gave him a piece of my mind, cut him off completely, deleted his number and I have never looked back coz I cannot be a friend to somebody that I have feelings for
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Haha, wow that is very similar to what I'm going through! Even his reasoning/wording (except the relationship intention part)
I guess in the end, whether we're patient or not, maybe it's just not meant to be... either the timing or just compatibility in general.
I'm glad I'm not alone in this though smile thank you for sharing.
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scorchedearth: I think Taurus can be wonderful, I mean the physical (non-sexual) affection, the way they are dominant yet quite gentle and the fact we have mental connection is really nice. There's a very comforting aspect about them that I long for in relationship (just too bad in these cases they're not that into me, I guess.)
Maybe in the future I'll get an unattached Taurean who is willing to fight for me as much as I fight for him (or her) . Winking
What do you think is the best aspect of Taurus - Pisces relationship, scorchedearth?
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Yeah, that's what I think too. But I know some bulls (or anyone really) who had bad experiences in the past probably have really strong barriers. (for example the older one is divorced, cheated on, left without words etc etc, one was left with debt by his gf that he finally finished paying... something like those ) But in the end, if they can see the other women without any interest in being friends, then why they do this to me?
There were words and reasoning they told me, but action is more important than words sometimes... and ultimately, I couldn't handle the dynamics of these relationships with these particular bulls, so the part of the blame is on me too.
Ah.. but I have to say I learned a lot, even if it ends in some bittersweet note. I wish them well.
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Posted by scorchedearth
taurus and pisces is a fantastic match. and i don't think scorpio is a better match for us at all. fuck that.


agreed...
--Jack
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Posted by scorchedearth
the compatibility is there you guys. you just need to find a taurus that's not playing games. i'd hate to think you guys would let one bad example put you off from the sign for good. Sad


Thank you scorchedearth....I am not put off the sign for good because I love the qualities they posses and how protective they areWinking. If I meet a nice taurus who's not into playing games and wants me for me; I would definitely give it another shot. I'm just not the type to sit around with crossed fingers waiting for somebody to make up/change their minds
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Hi, I'm back.
Just venting.. but the older Taurus and me finally came head to head (rather than just me slinking away from the problem, I decided to tell him everything.) We were arguing in a busy and loud bar where I was with my friends and he was with his, and he came up to me. We talked, and I got visibly upset when his girlfriend came over.
So when she left, he continued to say "Get over your infatuation."
I got upset finally and told him to fuck off (oops) because you can't force something like that, and it's my feelings so who is he to tell me to 'get over', and who is he to decide what my feelings was? He was being direspectful. I told him it's better if we don't see each other again, at least for 6 months or more, or whatever.
He got upset and didn't want that.
I told him I dont want to offer fake friendship whenever I see him with his girl and get jealous, it's all on me but I cant help it so it's better if we don't see each other because obviously I still have feelings.
He said if it helps he can make it clear that he sees me as a sister.
I said he should've said that in the first place, but it's too late now. And our closeness happens precisely because there's feelings involved etc etc.
He said he wont sleep with me (??)
I told him I know, and this is precisely why we need to be apart, or at least I had to get away from him. It hurts too much, and I know how immature i was being.
We argued for a while, my friends told me later on that I was angry but it was the very first time everyone saw how angry i could be. He was too but our fights weren't crazy (both drunk), more like very serious.
At some point I decided I wont be having anymore of this bs and just ask him to stop talking. He pushed me to my seat and finally he said he loves me.
I just said bullshit! as a sister! He said no, and tried to explain but I decided to have enough, and he left. He texted me that "so you're not ok being a self-sufficient woman then. I like you as you are. Get over the infatuation." and I told him to fuck off and have a good life.
My friend in the morning told me she talked to him after I left, and he said "She's lovely though."
I erased him from all the social media and contacts. I don't hate him, I hate the situation and I don't know why he's doing this.
Anyway that's my rant, Tongue I just need to get this off my chest. Time to find new places to be, and take care of myself...
Despite everything, it was an interesting experience. I'm st
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I'm still sad that I lost a really really good friend, but it's partially my fault that I developed feelings for someone like that. He's a good guy, but venus in Gem, maybe he likes having emotional friend on the side. Sadly I'm not strong enough for that, heh.
Ah well.. here's to better things in 2014 and hopefully be a bit wiser... feel free to laugh at my stupidity Tongue thanks for reading.
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Posted by piscesreisen
I'm still sad that I lost a really really good friend, but it's partially my fault that I developed feelings for someone like that. He's a good guy, but venus in Gem, maybe he likes having emotional friend on the side. Sadly I'm not strong enough for that, heh.
Ah well.. here's to better things in 2014 and hopefully be a bit wiser... feel free to laugh at my stupidity Tongue thanks for reading.


I'm a bull with Venus in Gem also. I can really relate to how he seems to be feeling...
1. I think this Venus placement gears you more towards a more universal type of love where you can love people on a mental and even emotional level, without the physical connection. It can be very confusing to all involved. I don't know if there's anything wrong with it, but obviously its taboo in a world where we have the kind of monogamous pair-bonding we do, as the default survival mode. And for me, it creates a lot of conflict with my own Taurean sense of loyalty. From my Taurus perspective, it just looks like an emotional cheater, with noble reasons to do so. (but they really do seem like noble reasons)...
2. I have just met my first female Pisces friend. Wow...I don't know if all Pisces women are like this, but the energy is *incredible* - feels like heaven. I am a bit in awe of her at the moment. I have so much respect for her. She is beautiful, but I wouldn't even *allow* myself to think lustfully about her out of respect. She gives off HEAVY vibes that I cannot even put into words - but if I had to try they would relate to joy, purity, spirituality, etc. She is just so much fun to be around, excited about everything, such a good mix of introvert and extrovert, always has a plan to keep things moving that seems perfect (whether where we go, what we do, the convo, etc). We hang with her man, and my girl - all of us. Its tough because I find myself just in such a good mood around her, soaking it up, with this huge smile on my face. I ask myself is it "okay" to be this excited about being around someone who is taken, and isn't my significant other? I have to guard my facial expressions, and try *not* to make excessive eye contact with her. She and I keep connecting in convo to the exclusion of our partners, etc.
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We hung on New Year's Eve and all of us had the most amazing time (largely due to her being the life of everything). And today we met up, and I actually thought in my mind, if she and I were alone, I was going to tell her very sincerely how impressive/amazing she is. Then I thought, that even though that's the truth, that's a really bad idea and could give some really mixed signals, look to everyone like I'm hitting on her, etc. That wasn't my intent at all though....
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Thank you for your reply, TaurusLovesScorpio. That sounds so familiar. He does say those about me as well (the difference is I'm not a life of a party, I'm more introverted usually but after a few drinks I take over the stage)
He said he feels really good around me and almost said that there's a certainty that there's fate/how our lives will continue to intersect etc. He did say sex ruins things and he does respect me very much....
Like I said, on one hand I could understand what he wanted, or what he needed from me. But I'm not strong enough because I like him in THAT way when he doesn't. It's just painful Sad Like I said also, I'm sad that I can't be that understanding. But I have to nurse myself... I don't want this to turn into hate and grief.
I fully know my issue, and I was torn for the longest time whether to 'tough it out' or get away. I have to choose to go away... since I couldn't handle my own feelings....
His problem is this: He is not yet divorced but separated and had a string of bad relationships. He claims he is deathly afraid of commitment and probably wont marry anyone ever again (which I don't care about since I dont find marriage appealing) yet he is dating on and off this one lady who is obviously looking for commitment, marriage and family so I got angry at him and told him if he wants to be with her then he has to be responsible of her feelings, not jerk her around. Maybe slowly he will commit to her (I have a feeling he will), but I hope he wont hurt her. He is very impulsive for a bull. But he is still loyal- he doesn't sleep with anyone else except the lady.
Also, I wished he just tell me from the very beginning he sees me as a sister. But no, he was being vague and flirty throughout, and he enjoys very much my reactions or when i get flustered. It's a bit cruel, but I suppose logically it's harmless.
I don't hate him, I'm just too sad to even see him again for now.. but it takes me a long while to get over someone, especially when they connects so well, as I rarely find people I can be very comfortable with.
I doubt after our head-to-head event he will ever contact me again (there's no way to do so anyway), but I know if he somehow does I would have a huge trouble saying no :/ I will have to get stronger.
As a fellow Taurus with venus gem, do you have any advice for me?
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Also, I think him and this lady will work out as she is a Libra and a very strong woman, which he needs. It pains me to say this but, I hope it works out for them.
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My thoughts are....Yeah, Venus in Gem can be a tease, often without realizing it; it is at least how others perceive it. I'd definitely just stay completely away because, as you've said, you can't handle it. He's getting what he wants from you - the feelings, the stimulation - but you're not getting what you feel you need in what is the next step of a natural progression for you when you feel those things. Its a drain and a disappointment for you, meanwhile he's peaking. There's no shame in not being able to handle the connection; you're just built differently. He's kinda leaching on your romantic energy, without paying for it via commitment. Not sure what the rest of his chart looks like, but it could be an ego thing. He'll meet his match and learn a bit more about his nature one day, and how he's (maybe unknowingly) being inconsiderate, when someone comes along, in whose presence he loses that physical control he is used to having (happened to me). Hopefully it will work out with his Libra, but closer to the truth is that he probably doesn't know what he needs, as his needs are in constant flux and just irreducibly multi-faceted. He has that mental restlessness/flightiness of a Gemini, but expressed in the area of romance/relationship. He is more intriguing to you now, because he is so intrigued. Once he loses that stimulation, feels like he's figured you out, solved the mystery, you would feel his interest wane, and your's would too, because a lot of what you like about him is probably his genuine interest in you and attentiveness. Venus and Gem may be charming at first, but in the big picture, not so much IMO. Very unappealing actually. Do you want to be *with* someone who is making all these mental/emotional bonds with other women all the time? Sounds like a nightmare.
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And don't fall for his armchair mysticism either - all the talk about paths crossing and fate. Even if he's not into astrology, he knows how to read you, understands that sign-seeking and imaginative side to you, and is tapping into it. Its all part of the "charm". He's a good read on women. Some Taurus men have a harem; Venus in Gem Taurus (unless they have an incredibly dynamic or mysterious partner) *needs* a harem...lol. There's some good benefits to being in the harem (I think). But unless you can detach somewhat emotionally/romantically, you don't want to be in it. Tell him to "intersect" with some Virgos.
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Yeah, you are right. "irreducibly multi-faceted.". And also right that part of it is the intrigue and attentiveness.
It's painful but I have to stay away. You're right and it's scary on how what you said rings so many bells and quite close to home. Thank you.
I wish him well..
His chart: Sun Tau, Venus gem, Moon Sagi, Mars Aries and Ascendant Leo... Lots of fire and Air.
Ego thing, possibily in Asc Leo?
I'm mostly water (moon scorp, venus pisces, mars sagi, ascendant capricorn)
Not compatible at all, seems like Tongue
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And the lady has a lot of scorpios in her sign... no wonder she's very intriguing.
And yes, armchair mysticism. That made me laugh so hard. It's scary on how on point your words are, as if you know him personally.
Ah well.. I have shown I'm bad at being his harem anyway Tongue
Thanks again, TLS smile
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Posted by piscesreisen
Yeah, you are right. "irreducibly multi-faceted.". And also right that part of it is the intrigue and attentiveness.
It's painful but I have to stay away. You're right and it's scary on how what you said rings so many bells and quite close to home. Thank you.
I wish him well..
His chart: Sun Tau, Venus gem, Moon Sagi, Mars Aries and Ascendant Leo... Lots of fire and Air.
Ego thing, possibily in Asc Leo?
I'm mostly water (moon scorp, venus pisces, mars sagi, ascendant capricorn)
Not compatible at all, seems like Tongue


Ah, you're a Scorp Moon. That explains a bit. Yeah, very incompatible with a Sag Moon. Maybe not ego for him (despite the Leo Asc.), but more of a free-spirited nature driving him - likes to roam/explore, can't be tied down, lighthearted about the emotion of the connections, but very curious about people philosophically/intellectually etc. - somewhat like his Venus in Gem (which apparently is not a good fit for Venus in Pisces). Per the Moon signs, he wants to keep it light, fun, somewhat surface level; you crave intensity/passion/emotional connection, etc.
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Posted by piscesreisen
And the lady has a lot of scorpios in her sign... no wonder she's very intriguing.
And yes, armchair mysticism. That made me laugh so hard. It's scary on how on point your words are, as if you know him personally.
Ah well.. I have shown I'm bad at being his harem anyway Tongue
Thanks again, TLS smile


NP...LOL, yeah...a lot of Scorpio will do it (for me at least)....My closest friend is a Libra with Scorp Merc, Mars, and Venus....Its like neverending conversation when we get together....Never bored...
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Blisss: Sorry that happened to you too.. perhaps it's just how things are, maybe they come to our lives to teach us a thing or two. In the end, we're the ones who have to make our boundaries.
TLS: Yeah, our charts are very incompatible. More reason to stay away. Though, I dont think he wants it to be light to me, whenever we talk we can talk for hours to no end, and his topics are always very personal. But I don't know, not that it matters anymore.
The Libra lady has moon, merc, venus in scorp, so she is way more intense than me, but I think also it's the age factor- she is more experienced in handling people (being a bartender and all). Hope it works out.
Ahh well. Lesson learned... smile Thanks again TLS.
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Posted by blisss
This post hit home for me. I hope you don't mind me sharing my story...
I had also had a friendship with a Taurus for many years. He said he was interested in me romantically but didn't want a girlfriend at the time so I moved on but we remained close friends. We would hang out, have long chats, all that stayed the same for several years. Later, when he dated other people he jumped into the relationships really quickly which left me really confused. (Sounds like the have his cake and eat it too? But, I did not get physical with him either.) He continued to confide in me about his relationships but not date me. He said later that he kept pushing me away because he thought we were too perfect and he was afraid of that kind of commitment. So he may not be married now or anything but he's "committed" to someone else he says is wrong for him. I do NOT understand this behavior either...


I don't understand this behavior myself, and I've engaged in it most of my life.
And I can tell you from my one new Pisces female friend, I can already feel it. She is so pretty but I just have no physical attraction/lust for her (which is good). She seems too kind, pure, or perfect or something - almost angelic. Even though she's done all this bad stuff in her past, she just has an aura of purity (kinda like a Virgo always does to me - and I don't lust for them either). I've always only been sexually attracted to women who seem to have a somewhat pronounced darker side, or history. Maybe its the challenge to try and tame them to accept the stuffy/convervative Taurean ways...lol.
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" She seems too kind, pure, or perfect or something - almost angelic."
Our eternal failing, we're perceived as the good girls no matter what we do? If folks would only delve into the depths of the average piscean they might find something completely opposite that impression. Makes sense that Freud invented (or at least expounded a lot) about the madonna / whore complex seeing as he was a Taurus ...
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Okay, DXP changed that word in the post. The madonna / w h o r e complex
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Posted by ClearRiverPoisson
" She seems too kind, pure, or perfect or something - almost angelic."
Our eternal failing, we're perceived as the good girls no matter what we do? If folks would only delve into the depths of the average piscean they might find something completely opposite that impression. Makes sense that Freud invented (or at least expounded a lot) about the madonna / whore complex seeing as he was a Taurus ...


Yeah, I think there's something to that actually. LOL, its not specifically Taurean. Its apparently fairly prevalent according to psychologists. But I think it is just common sense that men in general are more sexually attracted to overtly sexual women. I mean look at the mostly male-created/consumed pornography out there. The large majority of it specifically portrays the woman as a w h o r e. I think that's telling.
With the complex, I fit the pattern with the cold/distant mother. And I do consistently lose the physical attraction for a woman the closer we get. It just transforms into this very intimate friendship. It doesn't feel like brother/sister; it feels like romantic love, but the physical part often becomes a chore for me the more long-term we go. I don't buy Freud's causal account of the complex, but its rooted in the subconscious so I guess I'd have no way of really knowing.
I'm sure Pisces can be shady and all that; I've seen it in the men. I think its just the energy though. Hard to put into words. Something seems to be essentially soft and pure about a Pisces...hahaha...
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True, despite the purity we have quite a bit of dark sensual side. Just waiting for the right person who are willing to take a chance and they will be rewarded, haha Tongue
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I hav seen several marriages work between pisces taurus.
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That's good smile Too bad it didn't work out between me and him.
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