Leo Lies or truths?
This topic was created in the Leo forum by shorty1978 on Tuesday, November 12, 2013 and has 13 replies.
So some of you awesome Leo's know my story already.. with my Leo guy 2 years living together for 5 months awesome chemistry however he still hasnt told me he loves me... use to say he doesnt believe vocalizing love yada yada actions speak louder then works and that jazz.....
so enough is enough i told him i just need to know yes or no do you love me??? dont gotta say the words just a yes or no
this is what he lays on me...... he cant say yes or no because he doesnt think in those terms!!!... he has experienced in his 40 years that often those words are used and mean nothing! so he has choosen to live his life with out it.. that he keeps him self protected by not saying I love you I guess or by not feeling it or getting attached..... he says anything can change at anytime and he likes to know that if that happens he will be ok and will move on and be alright..... he says he has deep feelings for me and is happy he fell for me and bought this house and moved in with me and my kids and his kids and that is commitment!! and why cant i just be happy with that because he has CHOOSEN me to spend his life with.
so Leos... is this a load of crap or can he be totally scared to love again and maybe one day this could happen?? i am unsure of wheather or not i can accept this as a life style for my self.. i guess i am looking for a opinion of someone who doesnt know me cause all my girl friends of course say leave leave leave.
so enough is enough i told him i just need to know yes or no do you love me??? dont gotta say the words just a yes or no
this is what he lays on me...... he cant say yes or no because he doesnt think in those terms!!!... he has experienced in his 40 years that often those words are used and mean nothing! so he has choosen to live his life with out it.. that he keeps him self protected by not saying I love you I guess or by not feeling it or getting attached..... he says anything can change at anytime and he likes to know that if that happens he will be ok and will move on and be alright..... he says he has deep feelings for me and is happy he fell for me and bought this house and moved in with me and my kids and his kids and that is commitment!! and why cant i just be happy with that because he has CHOOSEN me to spend his life with.
so Leos... is this a load of crap or can he be totally scared to love again and maybe one day this could happen?? i am unsure of wheather or not i can accept this as a life style for my self.. i guess i am looking for a opinion of someone who doesnt know me cause all my girl friends of course say leave leave leave.
2 Years?
He does not love you and he does not want to lie to you and tell you he does which IMO is quite admirable.
The end.
He does not love you and he does not want to lie to you and tell you he does which IMO is quite admirable.
The end.
I agree 100 percent he is very admirable. ... but if he doesn't want to lie and say yes then why not say no... not yet or I care deeply but not quite love... why give me a speach about wanting me in his life he is committed to me and said he wants to be with me forever.... if not love then just tell the truth.... I'm alllllll about truth even if it iz what u don't want to hear.
Posted by shorty1978
So some of you awesome Leo's know my story already.. with my Leo guy 2 years living together for 5 months awesome chemistry however he still hasnt told me he loves me... use to say he doesnt believe vocalizing love yada yada actions speak louder then works and that jazz.....
so enough is enough i told him i just need to know yes or no do you love me??? dont gotta say the words just a yes or no
this is what he lays on me...... he cant say yes or no because he doesnt think in those terms!!!... he has experienced in his 40 years that often those words are used and mean nothing! so he has choosen to live his life with out it.. that he keeps him self protected by not saying I love you I guess or by not feeling it or getting attached..... he says anything can change at anytime and he likes to know that if that happens he will be ok and will move on and be alright..... he says he has deep feelings for me and is happy he fell for me and bought this house and moved in with me and my kids and his kids and that is commitment!! and why cant i just be happy with that because he has CHOOSEN me to spend his life with.
so Leos... is this a load of crap or can he be totally scared to love again and maybe one day this could happen?? i am unsure of wheather or not i can accept this as a life style for my self.. i guess i am looking for a opinion of someone who doesnt know me cause all my girl friends of course say leave leave leave.
Hmm
Some people say that Love is a decision.
He says he's made a commitment to you.
He bought a house for you both, and brought his kids into it-- and so did you-- which tells me there is/must be some level of trust between you both.
Actions DO speak louder than words-- and he sounds pretty "attached,"
But your girlfriends are telling you dump him-- doesn't that seem odd?
Are you happy?
Yes he makes me very happy he is everything I could have wanted in a partner. .. I get hung up sometimes on societys views on how a relationship should be.. saying I love you and all that I wish those thoughts could be gurned off for me. But I love and am deeply co.mitted to this man. There is a big level of respect and trust.... however my girlfriends are also thinking if the emotional commitment isn't equal then he is lying to me or using me and so on...
Idk. This is a really difficult one. But it does kind of seem like he is full of damn excuses. He's definitely gonna be hurt if you find another man that buys you a house, loves you, and isn't afraid to tell you so. He clearly has a problem in that area and he needs to move on from his past hurt. That has nothing to do with you. You've been nothing but good to him, so you deserve to hear those words. That would definitely bother me. I would never wanna be in a relationship where my bf/husband never tells me that he loves me. But I'm a Pisces, we need to hear those words like we need food and water. This one is strictly your decision. I think if this becomes a REALLY serious problem, then maybe you should move on. I bet he'll tell you he loves you then. Lol! Good luck hun!
I agree that he does need healing it is clear to me that he has fears he may think he is fooling me but he is not. he is so tender and sweet he has this love inside that he pulls back from so often. sometimes i can see it in his eyes just the way he looks at me. I know that he was hurt pretty bad from his past relationship that was 4 years ago he said he is the one that ended it because of things she did to him and he is solid on his decision however I dont think he has let go fully... we were dating over a year and packing his place to move intother when he started tossing a bunch of stuff away that was all over his place that turned out to be stuff that was her's or stuff they had gotten together on trips... this threw me off a bit cause im thinking this whole time we have been spending time together your still holding on to memories of her?? he said he just never got around to getting rid of that stuff... but then after we moved intogether i was on the computer looking at photos to have a fathers day calage made for him when i found folder after folder full of photos of them... he said he hasnt gotten around to deleting them but i have asked him several times now to please do so and if he doesnt want to delete them then at least please but them on disks and delete them because this is our life now. he says he has moved on but I dont think he has...
one of the things he said he likes about me is a i challenge him to think about stuff however when i bring this stuff up there is no challenging his thinking he is really stuck on it..
since we had this talk he is trying i can tell he is making sure to kiss me goodbye when he leaves and reach out by strocking my face or putting his arm around me in bed. he offered a little story about his childhood each night since our talk.. this is him opening up a bit...
so i guess what gets me about this all again is WHY try? why try to give me a bit more if he really doesnt love me if he really didnt care if i stay or go?
I often feel like maybe im trying to convince my self that he loves me he is just to scared to say it so i hold on... but a person can only hold on so long.
one of the things he said he likes about me is a i challenge him to think about stuff however when i bring this stuff up there is no challenging his thinking he is really stuck on it..
since we had this talk he is trying i can tell he is making sure to kiss me goodbye when he leaves and reach out by strocking my face or putting his arm around me in bed. he offered a little story about his childhood each night since our talk.. this is him opening up a bit...
so i guess what gets me about this all again is WHY try? why try to give me a bit more if he really doesnt love me if he really didnt care if i stay or go?
I often feel like maybe im trying to convince my self that he loves me he is just to scared to say it so i hold on... but a person can only hold on so long.
While I think 2 years is a bit long , I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. I think our generation gives up way too quickly. Perhaps because we know we have options but I think about our grandparents. They never gave up. They stayed and stuck it out. Love comes and it goes in a relationship. It is not the most important thing when trying to build a life with someone. It might not even be in the top 5. What about.. (in no particular order)
Commitment
Trust
Loyalty
Stability
Friendship
Compatibilty
Morals and Values
Getting it in !!!!
If you have the majority of these then try and make it work. I hate being single. I absolutely positively hate it !! Don't go back to being single. He sounds like a good man.
Commitment
Trust
Loyalty
Stability
Friendship
Compatibilty
Morals and Values
Getting it in !!!!
If you have the majority of these then try and make it work. I hate being single. I absolutely positively hate it !! Don't go back to being single. He sounds like a good man.
Posted by shorty1978
I agree that he does need healing it is clear to me that he has fears he may think he is fooling me but he is not. he is so tender and sweet he has this love inside that he pulls back from so often. sometimes i can see it in his eyes just the way he looks at me. I know that he was hurt pretty bad from his past relationship that was 4 years ago he said he is the one that ended it because of things she did to him and he is solid on his decision however I dont think he has let go fully... we were dating over a year and packing his place to move intother when he started tossing a bunch of stuff away that was all over his place that turned out to be stuff that was her's or stuff they had gotten together on trips... this threw me off a bit cause im thinking this whole time we have been spending time together your still holding on to memories of her?? he said he just never got around to getting rid of that stuff... but then after we moved intogether i was on the computer looking at photos to have a fathers day calage made for him when i found folder after folder full of photos of them... he said he hasnt gotten around to deleting them but i have asked him several times now to please do so and if he doesnt want to delete them then at least please but them on disks and delete them because this is our life now. he says he has moved on but I dont think he has...
Ugh
For what it is worth-- I dated a LEO that kept up a pic of the old gf for a while.
I didn't make an issue out of it because it WAS an issue-- if that makes sense.
After I had been there for a month or two, he replaced it on his OWN with a pic of us.
I don't understand it, nor do I approve (it was a long time ago), but apparently it was something he had to work out on his own.
*shrugs*
This is what im still unsure of, I want to be able to exist with him however my heart whats what it wants.
me being a very open Saggy i tell him how it is.. that i love him deeply but i dont know if i can handle this not sure if i can stay with him because this is something i want in my life.. he tries to convince me that he is totally commited and doesnt think in those terms but then he gets frusterated and says you do what it is you need to do to be happy if leaving me is it then fine thats your decision to make..
this then makes me feel even less important in his life.
I hope and pray things turn around I don??t know if I can handle another poor judgment on my part.
me being a very open Saggy i tell him how it is.. that i love him deeply but i dont know if i can handle this not sure if i can stay with him because this is something i want in my life.. he tries to convince me that he is totally commited and doesnt think in those terms but then he gets frusterated and says you do what it is you need to do to be happy if leaving me is it then fine thats your decision to make..
this then makes me feel even less important in his life.
I hope and pray things turn around I don??t know if I can handle another poor judgment on my part.
I love reading this. makes me feel like I'm not the only that will wait on a Leo for a while lol. my story is quite different but close to the same scenerio. I've been waiting 6 months on a Leo, so I'll shut up and be patient.
good luck to you and go with your heart. if you feel you need to hear those words and he can't say (at least he's telling you why) them then maybe more communication will lead to his walls coming down. at least he does open up to you some, so he trusts you.
good luck to you and go with your heart. if you feel you need to hear those words and he can't say (at least he's telling you why) them then maybe more communication will lead to his walls coming down. at least he does open up to you some, so he trusts you.
SexyScorpion Thanks soooo much your post makes me feel pretty great you are so right he is worth every second. and its not like im giving and not getting he is wonderful to me.
and the past week since we had that talk holy crap what a change its like when we first started dating he is affectionate, complitmenting me sharing here and there about his childhood stuff like that. even little text messages during the day wishing me a great day and a phone call on my lunch yesterday just to see how my day was... none of that has happened since we moved in together i have no idea what the change in him is but ill take it and hope that it keeps up... maybe he is scared to lose me i dont know but right now im happy and who knows what the furture brings.
and the past week since we had that talk holy crap what a change its like when we first started dating he is affectionate, complitmenting me sharing here and there about his childhood stuff like that. even little text messages during the day wishing me a great day and a phone call on my lunch yesterday just to see how my day was... none of that has happened since we moved in together i have no idea what the change in him is but ill take it and hope that it keeps up... maybe he is scared to lose me i dont know but right now im happy and who knows what the furture brings.
aww that's tough, love. a really tough situation. but i think it's his action that matters. even if he doesn't say it, but you can see it through his actions and love him enough to weather this one, after all, it's only 2 years right? then, just let him be. and probably wait it out a bit longer.
also note that attachment (he seemed super attached to you!) and loyalty (is he?) are two strong indications of love for leos.
hugs to you shorty!
also note that attachment (he seemed super attached to you!) and loyalty (is he?) are two strong indications of love for leos.
hugs to you shorty!
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