Missing Libra Man like crazy!!
This topic was created in the Libra forum by ariesfemale1978 on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 and has 67 replies.
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Hi everyone. This is my first time posting on this board. I'm wondering what you can offer, in terms of advice, to my present situation...
I went to gradeschool with a very nice boy named "Charlie" and that was that... or so I thought, lol. We went on to different high schools, both got married, etc... My marriage ended almost a year ago and his a little over a year ago. We met again randomly at a gathering in the summer and instantly 'connected'. He asked if he could take me out to dinner and I agreed. We spent a lot of time together and the chemistry was amazing. He came over almost every night and told me I was his gift from God and that he never wanted to let me go... well... right when things seemed to be moving in a more serious direction he tells me that his parents/the church/etc were getting on him about not doing the 'christian' thing and getting his family together again. His ex wanted nothing to do with him and then happened to 'drop by' one night when I was over there (I was sleeping) and from that moment on she started trying to get back with him, holding their daughter as leverage. He is a very good guy (according to what I know of him) and was tormented with the sudden pressure from everyone. I told him that I was not going to put myself in a position to be in a messy love triangle and also told him that if he needed to see if his family could work out that I supported him and would gracefully step back and leave him alone. He said he was torn with doing the 'right thing for his daughter' and 'following his heart'. I was deeply hurt but did not tell him so. I was so in love with him but did not tell him so. The last time I talked to him was 2 months when he told me that he had moved in with her and their child and realized what a horrible mistake it was and that he was going to get out. He said he was a mess but he finally knew that there was no chance there and he had no 'real' feelings for her, and he finally knew that his child would be ok if he moved on and was happy somewhere else... I didn't really say much because I didn't know what to say. Since that day I have thought about him non-stop and want to call him desperately!! I don't know if this is something I should do, though. I don't know if he has my # anymore (he hated the phone, so I don't know if he ever memorized it or not), when he wanted to see me he would stop by... but I moved and never told him I had moved. (continued.....)
I went to gradeschool with a very nice boy named "Charlie" and that was that... or so I thought, lol. We went on to different high schools, both got married, etc... My marriage ended almost a year ago and his a little over a year ago. We met again randomly at a gathering in the summer and instantly 'connected'. He asked if he could take me out to dinner and I agreed. We spent a lot of time together and the chemistry was amazing. He came over almost every night and told me I was his gift from God and that he never wanted to let me go... well... right when things seemed to be moving in a more serious direction he tells me that his parents/the church/etc were getting on him about not doing the 'christian' thing and getting his family together again. His ex wanted nothing to do with him and then happened to 'drop by' one night when I was over there (I was sleeping) and from that moment on she started trying to get back with him, holding their daughter as leverage. He is a very good guy (according to what I know of him) and was tormented with the sudden pressure from everyone. I told him that I was not going to put myself in a position to be in a messy love triangle and also told him that if he needed to see if his family could work out that I supported him and would gracefully step back and leave him alone. He said he was torn with doing the 'right thing for his daughter' and 'following his heart'. I was deeply hurt but did not tell him so. I was so in love with him but did not tell him so. The last time I talked to him was 2 months when he told me that he had moved in with her and their child and realized what a horrible mistake it was and that he was going to get out. He said he was a mess but he finally knew that there was no chance there and he had no 'real' feelings for her, and he finally knew that his child would be ok if he moved on and was happy somewhere else... I didn't really say much because I didn't know what to say. Since that day I have thought about him non-stop and want to call him desperately!! I don't know if this is something I should do, though. I don't know if he has my # anymore (he hated the phone, so I don't know if he ever memorized it or not), when he wanted to see me he would stop by... but I moved and never told him I had moved. (continued.....)
.....I wonder constantly if he ever thinks about me, if he's stopped by my old place, if he has feelings for me, etc. I hope to run into him one day to see if we still have the connection that brought us together... but I don't know if that's gonna happen, lol. Do you think it's a bad idea to call him "just to see how he's doing"? Feel free to ask any questions that you feel would be relevant to the answers... Any advice is extremely appreciated!! thank you so much for letting me get this out... I've been living in my head about this and it feels good to 'talk' to someone about it. I would love to get a real chance at love with him... or should I just forget about him... i don't know!
back to old habitat will temporarily disconnect us. You can think of sending him an sms asking how thing are at his end.
OMG OMG OMG 2 months??? You are an amazing woman for a start to still be in love with somebody after 2 months of no contact.....mind you, Im still there myself but that's a long winded and pathetic story and I will spare all the regulars LOL.
I agree with Thelibran, send him a text...what harm could it do? If he hated the phone and you have moved? he'd DEFINITELY find it hard to contact you although I do have to wonder whether he has the number stashed away somewhere!!
Make sure though, that you're not opening a can of worms re: his "ex"...perhaps he/they have found happiness.
I agree with Thelibran, send him a text...what harm could it do? If he hated the phone and you have moved? he'd DEFINITELY find it hard to contact you although I do have to wonder whether he has the number stashed away somewhere!!
Make sure though, that you're not opening a can of worms re: his "ex"...perhaps he/they have found happiness.
Thanks for replies so far...
""""""back to old habitat will temporarily disconnect us.""""""
thelibran: what do you mean by the above statement?
Chatz, I know that 2 months is too long to still have these very strong feelings and I'm surprised myself!! Is that an Aries trait? lol... to hang on when there's nothing to hang on to?? I'll have to investigate that one.
About txting him... I can't. He didn't have a phone back then and he hated cell phones. He carries around a work cell during work hours because he has to and that's how we'd keep in touch in the past. When he would call me after work hours it would be from payphones. It annoyed me a little that he didn't have his own phone but I wasn't going to disrespect his choices and he was always there at my house (or on dates) when he said he would be so it wasn't a huge deal. So the only way of contacting him would be me calling him on his work cell phone... *sigh*
""""""back to old habitat will temporarily disconnect us.""""""
thelibran: what do you mean by the above statement?
Chatz, I know that 2 months is too long to still have these very strong feelings and I'm surprised myself!! Is that an Aries trait? lol... to hang on when there's nothing to hang on to?? I'll have to investigate that one.
About txting him... I can't. He didn't have a phone back then and he hated cell phones. He carries around a work cell during work hours because he has to and that's how we'd keep in touch in the past. When he would call me after work hours it would be from payphones. It annoyed me a little that he didn't have his own phone but I wasn't going to disrespect his choices and he was always there at my house (or on dates) when he said he would be so it wasn't a huge deal. So the only way of contacting him would be me calling him on his work cell phone... *sigh*
I should add that he doesn't have a computer or email address...so I can't contact him that way either.
I agree with Chatz and the thelibran. Send him a text and ask his current status. (((Hugs))). I am feeling so huggy these days. Maybe it is because of the holiday season 
It is sooo hard to let go of a Libra who loves you. I have had to do it a few times.
It is sooo hard to let go of a Libra who loves you. I have had to do it a few times.
queen...I added above that I can't txt him... do u think i should call?
ANOTHER QUESTION... Are Libran's forgetful? Could it be a possibility that he lost my #? Just wondering if that's a Libra trait or not.
Yes, Libras are forgetful! I've also noticed that if things are "disharmonious", such as the way you guys had to end your relationship, they can get very discouraged because they feel they are to be blamed, and may not call out of guilt. It seems they take disharmonious feelings harder than other signs.
Am I right, lovely Libras? This is what I've noticed with my own adorable Scales guy.
Am I right, lovely Libras? This is what I've noticed with my own adorable Scales guy.
By the way, if you two ever do get together again, why not tell him you love him? We only regret the things we didn't do! My fellow calls me every day to tell me he loves me, and I tell him, too. He may as well know about my passionate nature now.
As a word of encouragement, I'm friends with an Aries woman who's been married to her Libra guy for 20 plus years. They have 4 kids, and are still as romantic and passionate as ever, she tells me.
As a word of encouragement, I'm friends with an Aries woman who's been married to her Libra guy for 20 plus years. They have 4 kids, and are still as romantic and passionate as ever, she tells me.
***ANOTHER QUESTION... Are Libran's forgetful? Could it be a possibility that he lost my #? Just wondering if that's a Libra trait or not.***
YES!!!! They can be very forgetful when self involved or have other issues going on!
Call him. TODAY. Tell him how you feel once you find out what his current status is.
YES!!!! They can be very forgetful when self involved or have other issues going on!
Call him. TODAY. Tell him how you feel once you find out what his current status is.
Did the marriage end in divorce or has he been separated from his wife for over a year?
if he's divorced, then technically we wouldn't be doing the "Christian" thing if he's shagging his ex-wife outside of holy matrimony according to his own words.
i think there's more to his story than he's led you to believe.
I am actually voting in the opposite direction of calling him. I also have a problem with his comment of hating cell phones when 95% of the world, if not more, is connected by way of cell phones these days. And he'd call from a payphone. Sounds fishy; really does.
By business standard, if a cell phone is issued to an employee, their voicemail should state "This is John Doe with ABC company". I would be curious to know if his voicemail states his association with his company. if it doesn't, I'm inclined to say he's been lying to you and that his wife keeps tabs on him, including his cell phone bill.
if he's divorced, then technically we wouldn't be doing the "Christian" thing if he's shagging his ex-wife outside of holy matrimony according to his own words.
i think there's more to his story than he's led you to believe.
I am actually voting in the opposite direction of calling him. I also have a problem with his comment of hating cell phones when 95% of the world, if not more, is connected by way of cell phones these days. And he'd call from a payphone. Sounds fishy; really does.
By business standard, if a cell phone is issued to an employee, their voicemail should state "This is John Doe with ABC company". I would be curious to know if his voicemail states his association with his company. if it doesn't, I'm inclined to say he's been lying to you and that his wife keeps tabs on him, including his cell phone bill.
another thought: if he moves out because he's miserable will affect you because he's doing what I call bouncing. he's bouncing out of one relationship to start another with someone he barely knows. i only see you as cushioning that bounce for a while, just like you did before he got back with his ex.
My boyfriend is very forgetful.
But in your case, I don't think he's accidentally forgotten your phone number.
But in your case, I don't think he's accidentally forgotten your phone number.
sorry i know i might be bursting your bubble, but leave it to my taurus sun and leo moon to tell you exactly what i'm thinking.
*** And he'd call from a payphone. Sounds fishy; really does.***
Okay, I must have missed this part. He calls from a pay phone? If so, how would you call him? On his cell, at his home (with his wife?). Okay if this is the case, I do agree with HP, something isn't right. Does he ever call from his cell? Does he call before he comes by your house? If not, there are boundaries. He should be calling not just dropping by.
Okay, I must have missed this part. He calls from a pay phone? If so, how would you call him? On his cell, at his home (with his wife?). Okay if this is the case, I do agree with HP, something isn't right. Does he ever call from his cell? Does he call before he comes by your house? If not, there are boundaries. He should be calling not just dropping by.
I hate cell phones. I haven't had one in 4 years. Thus I use payphones.
I am considering getting rid of my phone completely. I am never home anyway. I have a friend who has been without a phone for three years. Doesn't miss it at all.
I am considering getting rid of my phone completely. I am never home anyway. I have a friend who has been without a phone for three years. Doesn't miss it at all.
LS, that is fine. However, if he has one why doesn't he use it to call her? Sorry, that brings a question in my mind. Where is she leaving the message to call if he doesn't have a cell? At the home he now shares with his wife?
I think there's been some sort of misunderstanding... I'll try to clarify. He does have a work cell phone during business hours. The times that we did talk on the phone it was through that phone and it was either me calling or him calling. If I were to call that # after work hours it goes to a 'general voice mail' for the company. If it was after work hours he would sometimes call me form a pay-phone. I know he didn't have a home phone or his own cell phone, that's for a fact... It was annoying and even annoyed his friends but he said he wasn't in a rush to get a cell phone and didn't like them at all. He also told me that I was welcome to come by anytime I wanted to see him since he didn't have a phone. I told him he could come by in the evenings after my children went to bed and that's when he would come over.
Neither of us are legally divorced. My situation is complicated but it doesn't mean I want to hold on to the marriage at all! We were both separated for a long time before we became involved with eachother.
I'm not trying to 'get back with him' at this point. I would love to rekindle something in the future if that's possible but I'm not an idiot and know that I wouldn't want to be a rebound to him or anyone else. I don't like to be in those type of situations that's why I backed out in the first place as soon as all of this started to become an issue.
The only way I could communicate with him now is the same way we did in the past, through his work cell phone.
I hope that helps a little. I love the advice I'm getting and I am very grateful to everyone who has taken the time to respond...it really means a lot to me! Thanks again! Keep the comments coming. (((hugs)))
Neither of us are legally divorced. My situation is complicated but it doesn't mean I want to hold on to the marriage at all! We were both separated for a long time before we became involved with eachother.
I'm not trying to 'get back with him' at this point. I would love to rekindle something in the future if that's possible but I'm not an idiot and know that I wouldn't want to be a rebound to him or anyone else. I don't like to be in those type of situations that's why I backed out in the first place as soon as all of this started to become an issue.
The only way I could communicate with him now is the same way we did in the past, through his work cell phone.
I hope that helps a little. I love the advice I'm getting and I am very grateful to everyone who has taken the time to respond...it really means a lot to me! Thanks again! Keep the comments coming. (((hugs)))
I probably will end up calling him at some point... because the mental torture I'm putting myself through by fantasizing about him is not something I want to keep going in my life. Even if he's a jerk when I do call at least I'll have mental closure to the situation. But I feel so strongly for him and time hasn't made the feelings go away at all, on the contrary, they're now way stronger!
So if I do call him how do I approach the conversation? Casual "hi, how are things?", friendly like "you popped into my head" or more personal like "i really missed you" ... any advice is appreciated from Libra men, Libra women, Libra friends! lol ttyl
So if I do call him how do I approach the conversation? Casual "hi, how are things?", friendly like "you popped into my head" or more personal like "i really missed you" ... any advice is appreciated from Libra men, Libra women, Libra friends! lol ttyl
"""Christian, non Christian, we are human and have the human condition. Many sinners have asked for forgivness and recieved it. Don't make that the big issue. (MY OPINION ONLY)""""
This is not the big issue for me. I'm not even a Christian, although I was raised a Christian my whole life. Just to let you know that this wasn't the problem for me... but I know the pressure from family and how overwhelming it can be as my family did the same to me in the past... they pressured my ex and I to get married because I got pregnant and guilted us into it, lol. So I did sympathize with him when he was telling me what was happening to him.
This is not the big issue for me. I'm not even a Christian, although I was raised a Christian my whole life. Just to let you know that this wasn't the problem for me... but I know the pressure from family and how overwhelming it can be as my family did the same to me in the past... they pressured my ex and I to get married because I got pregnant and guilted us into it, lol. So I did sympathize with him when he was telling me what was happening to him.
What you're saying is wonderful....... really....... I just don't know how to come off that way when I do call. I tend to disguise my feelings well and sometimes come off too non-chalant, I don't want this to be the case. I do truly care for him. Wow, who would've thought that I'd be this much in love with someone and they don't even have a clue!! lol
Been there ariesfemale...am still there but like Leebra said, f/ship is a great gift and who knows what the future brings with a f/ship
"We only regret the things we didn't do."
Call
Call
call him!!!!!! or you will always wonder.....
when i get back my hometown or back to some place where i meet my old friends, everything related to my then place of living gets forgotten. friends, colleagues and every last person. We will be in a different world altogether. and we have so many things to occupy our head. so we forget almost everything. Well this is only a possibility and not a sure thing. Then in a few months time we will get bored of those environments and start wondering about the people we have completely forgotten. may be its just me. but then i got a libran friend from malaysia studying in perth. while she was in perth we thought we should meet up when she is back. 2 times she came back and got involved with the situation back home and completely forgot me. she remembered me only when she got back to Perth. something like that....
Well...tomorrow's the day!! I'm going to call him on his lunch break. I'm so nervous! lol I feel so silly being so nervous but just thinking about it is making my stomach turn! I hope I don't sound nervous when I call him. Any last suggestions before the 'big call'?????
stop being so reluctant to reveal your feelings
sweet dreams are devoid of these
sweet dreams are devoid of these
So you're saying I should tell him how I feel?? I don't know if I can, not tomorrow anyway... I don't even know how to approach the conversation. From anyone who knows libras well, can you let me know what the best approach would be? what would turn him off completely, etc... thanks!! does anyone else think I should tell him how I feel? I've read that I should be a friend, others think I should tell him I love him... I don't know, lol.
ofcourse you should tell him how you feel. Libra always understands " I think I am in love with you and I guess I missed you a lot" compared to "I am in love with you.. I missed you a lot" ... 
I agree with thelibran
And if you reveal your feelings, what's to loose? He knows it anyway. Or at least he'll know it from your very first words. If you express calmly your most "clean and sincere" feelings, really, I don't see the harm in that. Not to mention that you will ventilate a little then. Us, aries women, love monstruously, give a lot and burn inside using only the memory of a breath of air. But we are also so damn proud! Is it pride impeding you to verbalise your true feelings? Don't! Love and pride don't match!
I told my LM first that I am in love with him, in an early stage of our relationship, but only after receiving the above mentioned advice from my best friend. I told him during a phone conversation, in between other news, and quickly continued with something else. I heard his breath stoping, I knew he heard me and that touched him deep inside, but I didn't mention anything about it long after. I just acted like he was a very special person in my life and that was it. I have to mention we are extremely happy together. Go for it! It's worth it!
I told my LM first that I am in love with him, in an early stage of our relationship, but only after receiving the above mentioned advice from my best friend. I told him during a phone conversation, in between other news, and quickly continued with something else. I heard his breath stoping, I knew he heard me and that touched him deep inside, but I didn't mention anything about it long after. I just acted like he was a very special person in my life and that was it. I have to mention we are extremely happy together. Go for it! It's worth it!
thelibran, Queenscorpio, HP, little_sparrow and Chatz..and a few others. I just wanted to say by reading many of each of your posts...I feel better about my own situation with my ex libra man..I did not follow astrology at all--until we parted ways. I don't base everything on astrology of course, but I have gained much insight. I Thank You all for indirectly helping me.
By the time this is read
Stella would have gotten her groove back
Stella would have gotten her groove back
Emily you are most welcome....and wish you all the best in the future
too late for advice aries, sorry, time delay here - we need to read your report though
Hope it was everything you wanted hehehe
Hope it was everything you wanted hehehe
you're welcome, emily. i'm sorry it didn't work out with him...
Emily we are here to help eachother. This our own group therapy. LOL!!!
Aries.... Uhhhmm, I guess things went well? Yay!!!!
Aries.... Uhhhmm, I guess things went well? Yay!!!!
Thanks HP and Queenscorpio....If I didn't come here I believe I would not be doing as well as I am now. Also, it helps me to realize what I can do differently one day when I decide to get into another relationship.
Aries I am eager to know how it went also....I hope well!
Aries I am eager to know how it went also....I hope well!
Hi everyone. Sorry it took so long to respond, I have had a very busy weekend and did not have computer access until now.
The evening went great, it was like no time had passed and we were both very eager to talk and catch up and share our feelings which was great. We got very comfortable with eachother and did end up bein affectionate and we kissed...but that was it, nothing close to sex or anything like that. We talked about going out for sushi and karaoke soon and when he left he said he had his daughter yesterday over night and he'd definitely call me this weekend... It was a great night. He didn't call yesterday, though... I guess I'll see if he calls today. I'll get into more details later, I have to go for now. Thanks again for being there everyone!!!
The evening went great, it was like no time had passed and we were both very eager to talk and catch up and share our feelings which was great. We got very comfortable with eachother and did end up bein affectionate and we kissed...but that was it, nothing close to sex or anything like that. We talked about going out for sushi and karaoke soon and when he left he said he had his daughter yesterday over night and he'd definitely call me this weekend... It was a great night. He didn't call yesterday, though... I guess I'll see if he calls today. I'll get into more details later, I have to go for now. Thanks again for being there everyone!!!
drink a little get a buzz give him a call.
Since you are a Sun in Aries I don't understand why you were so jitterbuggish - I used to feel this way and so I will sympathize with your feelings and let me tell you this - you have already scored with him ok?
He still hasn't called me... I must admit I'm dissapointed... I thought everything was beautiful on Friday and I didn't doubt that he would call me... I don't know what to make of it. Can any of you let me know if this is a Libra thing?? Or do I just start working on letting it go for certain.
From my experience and from what others on here have gone through this is definitely a Libra thing!! They call when they're good and ready
Sweet Aries girl,
Be patient! It was Thanksgiving weekend! He probably had family obligations, etc. Most people have this particular w/e planned months in advance.
Be patient! It was Thanksgiving weekend! He probably had family obligations, etc. Most people have this particular w/e planned months in advance.
since when do men always call when they say they'll call?
eaglegirl has a point. it's a holiday weekend. and if his job is anything like mine, the long weekend has given him plenty to catch up to before he goes back to the office.
eaglegirl has a point. it's a holiday weekend. and if his job is anything like mine, the long weekend has given him plenty to catch up to before he goes back to the office.
Aries... they have this nack of surprising you when you think they have forgotten you. Believe me I know. Just wait.
With a Libra you have to wait past the point of disgust. The disgust you eventually get at yourself for waiting so long and feeling like an idiot for doing it. And then......as QS pointed out ***they have this nack of surprising you when you think they have forgotten you. Believe me I know. Just wait.*** They are back to charm you into waiting for them all over again. Since they "allegedly" do so much "thinking" when they're absent from you they must spend a great deal of that time "thinking" of how they're going to lure you back under their enigmatic charm and trance again, long enough to satisfy them selves that they can vanish yet again .............while you WAIT for them to return to you some other unexpected time in the future and welcome them back with slightly folded arms!
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