why do libras go m.i.a?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by cancerpersonality on Tuesday, December 18, 2012 and has 48 replies.
1 minute we're friends and we're talking and laughing.. then the next It's been over a month since I hear from him. No calls no texts but alot of Facebook updates. I don't get it did I do something wrong or did he fake me out like what happened? Is he 1 of those ill talk to you when I wanna talk to you types? I'm not mad I'm confused as to what happened.. is he showing a resent towards me?
O_o?
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Did I do something wrong???
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Best friends turned to a couple & broke up.. after clear thoughts and time apart I contacted him & asked him If we could be friends he replied instantly with a yes & we talked for a while talked the next day. He said he would call but never did. I called him no answer.. text no reply "/ and a month later here I am.. I honesty wanna be friends again nothing fancy ya know?
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Posted by everevolvingepithet
Talk to him face to face, this works in spades I've found, really.



You'll be able to read and see his reaction. Just be honest have a good talk and see what he says not only with his words but by his reactions and actions . If the friendship doesn't work then at least you'll know you gave it your best and it wasn't you that didn't want it
Good luck
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Thank you (: I will definitely try to. Because all of this is very trippy lol don't understand the point in all of this Smh If he not into being friends then he should just say so no make me feel stupid for trying ya know?
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I wondered If he still has feelings for me & maybe that could be a reason why he distant ..Could this be?
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Or is he taking his time to decide If this is what he really wants?
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Posted by cancerpersonality
I wondered If he still has feelings for me & maybe that could be a reason why he distant ..Could this be?

it is possible. It would cause issues for me trying to be 'just' friends.
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Posted by cancerpersonality
1 minute we're friends and we're talking and laughing.. then the next It's been over a month since I hear from him. No calls no texts but alot of Facebook updates. I don't get it did I do something wrong or did he fake me out like what happened? Is he 1 of those ill talk to you when I wanna talk to you types? I'm not mad I'm confused as to what happened.. is he showing a resent towards me?
O_o?


You just got downgraded as a friend... when i consider someone as a friend i dont give them 100% of my time and effort everytime. I flake and wont even care unless you tell me what has happened to you.. i only three types i really check up on a regular basis my immediate family , my current so and if i havr one my BEST friend... everything else i pretty dont care unless they need help from me or sumthin...plus if i jist broke with that someone im not to keen on contacting them for i am busy movibg on with my life and trying to create a routine in life with someone else.
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Totally agree with Libra08....You are not a priority at all once you get friendzoned, even if the friendship was initiatied by you, since he didn't initiate the friendship idea then you'll have to be the one doing all of the calling and initiating since it was your idea to be friends. You want to speak to him call him, you want to be friends then lay off the heavy talk about why he's not calling, he's not calling because the friendship wasn't his idea, it was your idea to be friends so put in some effort and work into developing the friendship, although he agreed to be your friend, his idea of how and when to contact his friends may not align itself with your idea on how to maintain a friendship, he's displaying to you how he prioritizes his friends (girl) friends, if you don't like the way he behaves with his friends then you should probably opt out of the friendship and leave it alone.
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@tasteofchaosss I think your absolutely right only he can make that move of judgement thank you (: I'm gonna let it ride & see what Happens I think That's the best thing!
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Thanks ladies! that makes a whole lot of sense I finally understand all of this but at the beginning of all of this friend business the calling me to discuss things was his idea he never went through with it cuz this was my idea huh ?
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Everybody all of this is really opening my eyes! Thanks soooooooooo much I feel so much better about this! I will give y'all an update on this lol but since you guys already know the game you probably already know the outcome of the matter.
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Plus It's not about what he says It's about what he does right? & since he never called like he said he would & lied to,me about going to sleep but was really on fb (which wasn't hard to figure out ) lol that was a sign right there that he doesn't care about being friends huh? All of this is just starting to comeback & hit me in the face lol wow #EyeOpener
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I understand the confusion regarding him initiating the calling but look at it differently, if this is the way he treats you as his friend then he's just as lousy as a friend as he was at being your boyfriend.
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Your totally right... I should just let it all go.. I just wish he would wake up or at least grow up Cuz these games are childish & I don't like my feelings getting played with.. we're both young so maybe that plays a key role is actions as well
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20 years old
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let me say (signs aside for a minute) that it is unacceptable to do this to anyone. If you like a person, do something about it, and if you dont, have the dangleberries to put a person out of their misery. LIbra, and i hate to think i might hurt a soul..so if im not feeling it but know the other person is, i just let them know that i cant be with them in the way that they might want/hope/imagine. Its not nice, but the alternative is shit Winking
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Lol Right! It sucks because I've always been here for him so for him to treat me like this is messed up but I would rather for him to just tell me he's not feeling the friends thing rather than lie to me and never come through for me. Is it too much to ask just to tell me the truth? Lol but this is really mean but he'll probably regret it one day when I'm no longer available ( ;
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Give the guy some space! You don't want him but yet you feel you need him to be your friend and at your beck and call still?? Why does it matter so much to you anyway??
You made the choice to end it, live with the consequence of his decisions which obviously don't include you at all at this point!
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I haven't spoke to him since this incident This whole calling business & whatnot was his saying not mine!.I still wanted to be coo & bury the hatchet so there would be no tension or awkwardness when we see each other, but like @tiki33 said If he's doin this now he wasn't a Good guy anyways & she's right.. .. I don't like when People don't fall through with things big or small ,male or female ,friend or family,it has nothing to do with who he is or was to me. I don't like when People say 1 thing & do another I don't think anybody does. & we were best friends like I said So i didn't think it would be this i thought we would be coo & that was that ,it has nothing to do with still wanting him Cuz I don't . do you like it when people's actions don't match their words? People come and go in life which is true but as some other People have stated on this topic If he didn't wanna be friends or have anything to do with me that is all he had to say! I'm not going to hang on to anybody but I will also not watch somebody take the cowardly way out of a situation instead having balls to just say no. I'm not going to face any consequences this is his doing not mine so I will not feel bad at all! To be honest this Morning I gave a fuck but It's true cancers moods change real quick Cuz now I don't give 10 fucks being friends obviously doesn't mean shit so be it thats all he had to say sheesh. you are entitled to your opinion but your tone is coming off sideways..chill!!
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And you show too much emotion for someone that has none. Leave the dude alone and you'll be forgotten quickly.
Oh and this is what happens when you ruin a friendship for selfish reasons!
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Selfish reasons? Lol I'm showing emotion because of the way you came at me you seemed like you were talking sideways instead of just talking normal like everyone else. Had to say what I had to say since you said what you said hun (: no hard feelings
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Oh and by the way what with the attitude? lol
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As a Libra we look at both sides of the coin...you are purely looking at yours only. He's the hurt one, so leave him alone to heal. If he comes back on his own all good but you have no say in whether he does or how he deals with it...so simply let go and don't act like you are the injured one.
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Thank you so much for opening my eyes .. I don't like being aggressive I just wanted some insight .I'm not trying to come at you any kind of way but with respect.. & I totally get it I hurt him just as much as he hurt me so there should be no pointing the finger.. (: thank you
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If you don't mind I'd like to be brutally honest.. It's not the relationship I miss.. I just miss my best friend before the relationship lol when I say bffs I mean he knew my freakin life story. I miss just hanging out at the movies & mall & stuff "(
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Unfortunately that is the damage done when we cross those lines...with men and woman there always seems to be one that feels more than the other.
Give him time, it'll probably take till he finds someone else to love...then there are other issue
Sorry about my bluntness, got up too early this morning!
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Posted by cancerpersonality
If you don't mind I'd like to be brutally honest.. It's not the relationship I miss.. I just miss my best friend before the relationship lol when I say bffs I mean he knew my freakin life story. I miss just hanging out at the movies & mall & stuff "(


we understand you honey but if your guy is like me as a libra you should also understand tha we are kind all or nothing type of person... since you're not his EVERYTHING anymore you are considered as nothing.
Plus you know the drill of gambling a friendship when agreeing to the relationship.
Its just that He's not that into you anymore... and even if he is and you were the one who called it quits i dont he would waste time on something thats not working anymore.
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@Sweethearts lol ") It's OK.. & I was being a stubborn baby because your right ahah I still love him a whole lot I mean we broke up in October so wounds are still fresh.. I miss him everyday.. I know libras aren't the talking it out type (he told me) but That's all I wanted before this breakup was to talk not be mad or selfish but for him to communicate with me lol I thought that If we started back talking we could just be friends
I sound dumb but I still love him a whole lot not talking sucks. Felt like we were meant to be had alot in common & stuff.. I'm rambling sorry. I just been holding all this in for so long ..thank you for your insight
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You got a lot of good advice but just to throw my view on it we can be flaky. Sometimes it's out of spite and sometimes its just simply detachment. If he's having a hard time being your friend because he has feelings for don't expect that to admit that anytime soon. Especially if you can do it with no problem. Translating emotions into words is not our forte...at least not until we've matured a little. The best way to get to through to us when we show this type of behavior is to totally dismiss us. Lol I feel like a trader to my people but its real. Once it occurs to him that you haven't reached out in a awhile (and this may take awhile) he'll prob reach out and be more open to a friendship of some sort or at least express what was going through his head at the time.
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I'm not sure if your a cancer sun but I had the same thing happen between me and this cancer guy I was friends with. We had a strong connection. It was like we were the same person except I was the female version and he was the male. After awhile the relationship got intimate, then we fell out. We avoided each other for months. We never resolved the issue but I guess our friendship was so strong we were able to maintain it, but kept a healthy distance at the same time. After doing this for a couple of years circumstances last year caused us to be around each other like everyday and boom! Feelings got the best of us.
Its still a roller coaster but I said all that to say that it may not be that was to jump back into a friendship as you may think. Just flow with it. If the bond is that strong he isn't going too far
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@Playswitfire83 ahah OMG you told me the same thing my mom told me lol (: this is gonna sound very funny but I usually get my advice from her because my dad is a Libra so I see How she handles him lol (she's a Scorpio).. we haven't spoke in a month so Yea I'm seeing this is going to be a while but I'm up for it... So he wouldn't just tell me If he still had feelings for me he would show it? lol His status updates seem pretty depressing, crazy & weird since the break up could he be sorta showing it? But wow straight what my mom said lol Thanks soo soo much for your advice.. sounds kinda dorky but I feel a little hope for something in the future (:
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*may not be that easy
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Lol well you should always listen to mama! But yes. He would definately do a lot of round about indirect things to express himself (ie fb statues) but honestly I wouldn't read into them to much because you'll drive yourself crazy trying to read between the lines. Let him vent however he needs to and let him contact you when he's ready. You'll have a much more effective Congo once he feels like his head is clear
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Thank you so so much I'm understanding the Libra mind more & more.. lol you guys minds are so confusing lol no offense (: I feel a whole lot better with all of this knowledge.. I have one more question lol is he bound to feel the you don't know what you got til It's gone syndrome or is that just a guy thing? lol
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Posted by tiki33
I understand the confusion regarding him initiating the calling but look at it differently, if this is the way he treats you as his friend then he's just as lousy as a friend as he was at being your boyfriend.


THIS. I just went through this exact same thing (same confusion, same ponderings, all of it) with my ex this last year after getting back in touch. Whether is was shitty Libran flakiness or him still having emotional issues, it got to be pretty ridiculous that he couldn't act like a normal human being.
So I just said eff it at some point. He's a shitty "friend" if this is how he wants to treat it. *shrugs* If he wants to bother, he knows where to find me.
You should likely do the same if you want to keep your sanity intact. To sum it up, when you hold no use to a Libra, they don't give a fuck about you (such is how air signs function. Those with water influences will NEVER get it).
Also, if this guy is a youngin, it totally comes with the territory. These guys have no idea wtf they want when they're younger and they act like raging idiots in regard to matters of the heart.
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Another note- if you just broke up recently, two months is not the time to try to reconcile as friends. Give it some more time. Maybe let him reach out to you, or when you feel you don't have those feelings still there, then maybe revisit this idea.
If you were the one to break up with him, it's really not your place to ask to be friends again. He needs to decide that on his own.
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You guys advice is just making my night (: I swear I totally went threw that with him .. ahahah I didn't know How to react to his mood swings sometimes >_,< sheesh.. but I'm most definitely going to give it time because sometimes I get to that point where I don't even know If this is what I want lol time is definite key factor (:
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Lol thank you for your bluntness and honesty ") I feel reading everyone different advice and opinions that I need to just continue to worry about me and If he comes around he does If not life goes on.. I feel a giant weight lifted now that I got the inside scoop on a Libra guy.. I think pretending he doesn't exist is my only option so ill give it a go..
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I wanna thank all of you guys for your advice ") I will take all this with an open mind & just move forward It's a tough road but what is meant to be always finds a way right? So I'm going to focus on myself. Your honest insight has put me in a much better place to know where I stand as far this situation goes. If you guys want updates ill be sure to do so.. in the mean time.....
Happy Holidays ??? ???__???
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I feel it lol your totally right. I'm just gonna do me & let life happen 1 day at a time (: If he really wants to talk he know the number. thank you I feel alot better from yesterday now that I really read everyone's comments & thought things through!
Happy holidays ??/
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@cancerpersonality thanks for commenting on my post. I've read the thread and think that distancing yourself would be best in my opinion. Too soon to ask for friendship, but at this point let HIM do the work. He disappeared right? If he doesn't his lost. Best of LUCK!!!
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@Prettybrwneyes your welcome for the comment & Thanks for taking the time to read my thread.. I am doing just as everyone has said which is just let it go. (:
Thank you for the luck & happy holidays (:
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I'm a Libra and although I hate to admit it..I can get from hot to cold pretty quickly if I find someone/something rude or distasteful. But I eventually come back (if i like and/or care about the person). For me, I like people to be upfront..even though I hate it since I hate it and I am a people pleaser lol. Communication is key, the Libra may not like it but you both will feel better after..just don't come charging with aggression with us..we'll go mia to avoid you until your calm enough to solve things. Libras are indecisive and often carefully observe those we are getting into relationships with. Libra often love the feeling of love than the actual person at times and get caught up with the reality of what the situation really is..may have seen you as more than a friend, but now as just a friend when we're done weighing out how we see you fit into our lives.
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@LibraRN Hi (: thanks for you insight & HAPPY new year! .. It's actually funny because now since Christmas He has been writing me.. He wished me a merry Christmas, a happy new year & He wrote me today.. I'm not jumping up tho its 2013 im coo off him lol
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@Cancerpersonality yea,just be cool about it lol..or at least pretend to haha. If the mia keeps happen just talk to him about it. For me, I need confrontation to realize my actions at times since you don't know what the other person is thinking or feeling. Even though I am a Libra and basically live in my head with all the thinking and balancing, and justifying both sides lol. If you've realize he's not worth it or goes mia again, let him go..it's 2013! I think if you get to the point where you really like someone, you want to see and talk to them often..I'm not saying clingy or stalker status, but the feeling of their presence. I have busy days, but I make time to send a text, a phone call, etc. Think about what you need and expect from a significant other, I'm sure a man who goes mia when he pleases isn't one of them..Good luck to you and happy new year! =)
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@LibraRN I was going to just delete him completely but I wanna give him a heads up first . I just wanna let him go for Good & move on smiling but the constant writing kinda idk what his intentions are but It's a new year & im ready to start new & fresh. I've had a change of heart since the first time I wrote this & I have read that his writing could just be an ego stroke to see if He can still have me. I ready this time I feel it & know it (: thank you & happy new year too you as well!
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