Ladies Don't be Naive, If He's Not Married to you OF COURSE THERE ARE OTHER WOMEN

I am in awe at the naivety of my female friends. Boyfriend does not mean exclusive monogamous relationship that's called marriage! A verbal understanding is only to make you feel better about having sex with a single man. The federal government refers to...

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by communicator on Monday, December 26, 2016 and has 127 replies.
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Posted by DMV
Posted by communicator
Posted by DMV
I think at any moment, a man can and will up and leave you. Have others, etc.

Doesnt matter if you are his wife or girlfriend.

Doesnt matter how much youve done for him or how much hes done for you.

No one is under any obligation to be with you or treat you right.

People have to make a decision every day to stay 100.

I do believe and trust in marriage and relationships.
This point has already been addressed read the posts before you sound redundant.

Youre feathers are so ruffled from defending yourself that you dont even know when someone is agreeing with you.

I agree with you but you come 4 me.

Duly noted.
click to expand
LOL, My feathers weren't ruffled in the least bit, I spent most of the time laughing so hard I turned bright red. I am just tired of this thread....

Posted by TheCanBull
Uhmm hate to burst your bubble but people can live a monogamous life together without marriage.

Marriage is nice though.
very true.

we know a lot of couples who are not married but have been living together for a long time.
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by P-Angel

If a guy isn't committed to you, and is just a boyfriend, especially an ldr or cyber boyfriend ... then he's most likely entertaining the attentions of others.
Wow the men in your life growing up really did a good job in convincing you they can't control themselves.
click to expand
I was just noticing that, with other astrology forums mention this too, about how there's a lot of people who don't know how to commit to a relationship.

but look, a lot of us are here have been committed to even an astrology board. That's commitment right here.

even if it's in a "detached" way cause we're all 7th house (having relationships with eachother) 3rd house of communicating, and 11thhouse of groups.


edit

and if only people could commit DEEPLY 12th, 8th and 4th house maybe? the deeper end of the pool....

and maybe some earth to bury them deep, so they can't escape.
Posted by AneemA
Posted by MyStarsShine
...and if you hadn't noticed, lots of men WAIT till they are married to have other women
Lol

I hope I won't have a cheating husband in the future.
click to expand


this site full of peeps have a lot of FEAR of this type of thing.

I had experienced it and it's terrible.


but like I mentioned in another topic,

just don't look into his stuff and don't invade into his privacy, look the other way,

and let him be FREE.


Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by P-Angel

If a guy isn't committed to you, and is just a boyfriend, especially an ldr or cyber boyfriend ... then he's most likely entertaining the attentions of others.
Wow the men in your life growing up really did a good job in convincing you they can't control themselves.
I was just noticing that, with other astrology forums mention this too, about how there's a lot of people who don't know how to commit to a relationship.

but look, a lot of us are here have been committed to even an astrology board. That's commitment right here.

even if it's in a "detached" way cause we're all 7th house (having relationships with eachother) 3rd house of communicating, and 11thhouse of groups.


edit

and if only people could commit DEEPLY 12th, 8th and 4th house maybe? the deeper end of the pool....

and maybe some earth to bury them deep, so they can't escape.
You've been seeing other astrology forums?

??????
click to expand


Laughing


on the sly..... shhhhh


secret!!!!

The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
click to expand
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

I'm not with the OP that marriage guarantees loyalty. That's bullshit. Commitment can come both in and out of marriage. I'm just saying that words of people mean nothing (be it woman or man). Protect yourself.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
click to expand
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Posted by communicator
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by communicator
I am in awe at the naivety of my female friends. Boyfriend does not mean exclusive monogamous relationship that's called marriage! A verbal understanding is only to make you feel better about having sex with a single man. The federal government refers to an unmarried man as single. Therefore a single man is under no obligation to you. However Men will tell you what you want to hear if that means we get sex.

The wife gets the commitment, not the girlfriend! Girlfriend does not have the same ranking as a wife. When an unmarried woman says the unmarried guy is "cheating" that is ridiculous. Expect an unmarried single man to have other women.

Until you are his wife he is under no obligation to be faithful. And until you are the wife I suggest you don't offer monogamy. Tell him you will stop seeing other men when you are married, until then, like him, you are single. That's the quickest way to be the wife. Women commit to us after a couple of months of pretty words and dinners. If you are already monogamous with us, what will be the reason to marry you?????


Don't be naive in assuming a marriage means there's not other women.

We have already discussed this on page 4 you are late.

click to expand
Page 4 doesn't make it any less true.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Words mean things when they are backed up by actions. You can work out someone's intentions through intuition, past history and actions. Marriage ain't gonna stop actions from changing so I don't see how that's irrelevant. Same goes with words too. Marriage might be an intent to be monogamous but we all know that doesn't always happen. Documents and rights don't mean diddly squat when it comes to cheating and marriage. If that was true divorce lawyers wouldn't be making such a killing.
click to expand
You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm not contesting what you're saying. All I'm saying is that look out for your interest because you can get screwed over in both situations (marriage or common law). Marriage just prevents your rights from being breached. Your BF can drop you in two seconds after dating you for two years for another woman. You can't do jack in common law. In marriage, take him to court and make him pay the price for lacking integrity.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Words mean things when they are backed up by actions. You can work out someone's intentions through intuition, past history and actions. Marriage ain't gonna stop actions from changing so I don't see how that's irrelevant. Same goes with words too. Marriage might be an intent to be monogamous but we all know that doesn't always happen. Documents and rights don't mean diddly squat when it comes to cheating and marriage. If that was true divorce lawyers wouldn't be making such a killing.
You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm not contesting what you're saying. All I'm saying is that look out for your interest because you can get screwed over in both situations (marriage or common law). Marriage just prevents your rights from being breached. Your BF can drop you in two seconds after dating you for two years for another woman. You can't do jack in common law. In marriage, take him to court and make him pay the price for lacking integrity.



But it's not about rights and going to court. That's not what we care about. It's about committing and not cheating. This clown seems to think someone has a right to cheat on a partner just because they're not married to them. It's a moral thing.
click to expand
He's out to lunch on that. I'm not agreeing with him on this. I agree with him when he says that men use words to con women into getting in a relationship to bide their time. This narrative is commonplace. It screws women over all the time. I'm discussing an aspect to his OP which rings true.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Words mean things when they are backed up by actions. You can work out someone's intentions through intuition, past history and actions. Marriage ain't gonna stop actions from changing so I don't see how that's irrelevant. Same goes with words too. Marriage might be an intent to be monogamous but we all know that doesn't always happen. Documents and rights don't mean diddly squat when it comes to cheating and marriage. If that was true divorce lawyers wouldn't be making such a killing.
You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm not contesting what you're saying. All I'm saying is that look out for your interest because you can get screwed over in both situations (marriage or common law). Marriage just prevents your rights from being breached. Your BF can drop you in two seconds after dating you for two years for another woman. You can't do jack in common law. In marriage, take him to court and make him pay the price for lacking integrity.



But it's not about rights and going to court. That's not what we care about. It's about committing and not cheating. This clown seems to think someone has a right to cheat on a partner just because they're not married to them. It's a moral thing.
He's out to lunch on that. I'm not agreeing with him on this. I agree with him when he says that men use words to con women into getting in a relationship to bide their time. This narrative is commonplace. It screws women over all the time. I'm discussing an aspect to his OP which rings true.

Men con women into staying with them by marrying them but still cheat. No difference.
click to expand


Yep, but then there's hell to pay.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Words mean things when they are backed up by actions. You can work out someone's intentions through intuition, past history and actions. Marriage ain't gonna stop actions from changing so I don't see how that's irrelevant. Same goes with words too. Marriage might be an intent to be monogamous but we all know that doesn't always happen. Documents and rights don't mean diddly squat when it comes to cheating and marriage. If that was true divorce lawyers wouldn't be making such a killing.
You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm not contesting what you're saying. All I'm saying is that look out for your interest because you can get screwed over in both situations (marriage or common law). Marriage just prevents your rights from being breached. Your BF can drop you in two seconds after dating you for two years for another woman. You can't do jack in common law. In marriage, take him to court and make him pay the price for lacking integrity.



But it's not about rights and going to court. That's not what we care about. It's about committing and not cheating. This clown seems to think someone has a right to cheat on a partner just because they're not married to them. It's a moral thing.
He's out to lunch on that. I'm not agreeing with him on this. I agree with him when he says that men use words to con women into getting in a relationship to bide their time. This narrative is commonplace. It screws women over all the time. I'm discussing an aspect to his OP which rings true.

Men con women into staying with them by marrying them but still cheat. No difference.


Yep, but then there's hell to pay.

And?
click to expand
You're taken care of. You're not screwed over.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Words mean things when they are backed up by actions. You can work out someone's intentions through intuition, past history and actions. Marriage ain't gonna stop actions from changing so I don't see how that's irrelevant. Same goes with words too. Marriage might be an intent to be monogamous but we all know that doesn't always happen. Documents and rights don't mean diddly squat when it comes to cheating and marriage. If that was true divorce lawyers wouldn't be making such a killing.
You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm not contesting what you're saying. All I'm saying is that look out for your interest because you can get screwed over in both situations (marriage or common law). Marriage just prevents your rights from being breached. Your BF can drop you in two seconds after dating you for two years for another woman. You can't do jack in common law. In marriage, take him to court and make him pay the price for lacking integrity.



But it's not about rights and going to court. That's not what we care about. It's about committing and not cheating. This clown seems to think someone has a right to cheat on a partner just because they're not married to them. It's a moral thing.
He's out to lunch on that. I'm not agreeing with him on this. I agree with him when he says that men use words to con women into getting in a relationship to bide their time. This narrative is commonplace. It screws women over all the time. I'm discussing an aspect to his OP which rings true.

Men con women into staying with them by marrying them but still cheat. No difference.


Yep, but then there's hell to pay.

And?
You're taken care of. You're not screwed over.

So what? You've still been cheated on, which is what people don't like.
click to expand
If you really think about it, it's being screwed over and being made a fool that people don't like. People don't like to feel like they invested emotions, time, money, had children with a fool. Imagine being abandoned to fend for yourself for something you built with another? At best, you would want some recompense for it.

@aliensusedourbogroll

This is a common narrative and everyone knows a person or two like this. One of the girls I know is dating a time bandit for 8 yrs. They started dating when she was 20 and the guy was 24. They have been dating for 8 yrs and not even proposed to.

This woman is a sweet cancer and like a typical cancer she wants to get married and have children. In these 8 yrs of dating, all her close friends have been either engaged or got married and she got nothing. She loves the guy so she's putting her desires on the backburner. This girl cooks, sleeps with him, drives him around basically does what a caring gf does. This BF still hasn't proposed. He has what any guy wants. He's set and has no reason to budge on what she wants. Let's consider what she's lost so far: her youth, prime days to bear children. She's wasting the best years of her life on a loser when she could be using it to find a guy that will give her what she desires. She's gone from 20 to 27 for a guy who is giving her short end of the stick. Now let's say he ditches her in the next two yrs which he could do, what is she left with? What does she get for wasting 9 yrs of her prime days + efforts + emotions on him? Also, she's not getting her biological clock back.
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Words mean things when they are backed up by actions. You can work out someone's intentions through intuition, past history and actions. Marriage ain't gonna stop actions from changing so I don't see how that's irrelevant. Same goes with words too. Marriage might be an intent to be monogamous but we all know that doesn't always happen. Documents and rights don't mean diddly squat when it comes to cheating and marriage. If that was true divorce lawyers wouldn't be making such a killing.
You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm not contesting what you're saying. All I'm saying is that look out for your interest because you can get screwed over in both situations (marriage or common law). Marriage just prevents your rights from being breached. Your BF can drop you in two seconds after dating you for two years for another woman. You can't do jack in common law. In marriage, take him to court and make him pay the price for lacking integrity.



But it's not about rights and going to court. That's not what we care about. It's about committing and not cheating. This clown seems to think someone has a right to cheat on a partner just because they're not married to them. It's a moral thing.
He's out to lunch on that. I'm not agreeing with him on this. I agree with him when he says that men use words to con women into getting in a relationship to bide their time. This narrative is commonplace. It screws women over all the time. I'm discussing an aspect to his OP which rings true.

Men con women into staying with them by marrying them but still cheat. No difference.


Yep, but then there's hell to pay.

And?
You're taken care of. You're not screwed over.

So what? You've still been cheated on, which is what people don't like.
If you really think about it, it's being screwed over and being made a fool that people don't like. People don't like to feel like they invested emotions, time, money, had children with a fool. Imagine being abandoned to fend for yourself for something you built with another? At best, you would want some recompense for it.

But you still got cheated on. Marriage doesn't stop this. Men who don't cheat on their wives don't not cheat because they're scared of their wife's reaction, it's because they believe in monogamy or didn't have an opportunity to.
click to expand
You're circulating on one aspect of his post which I'm not even debating with you. I agree. I'm discussing another aspect of his post which is 'what is in the better interest for a woman: marriage or a simple relationship'.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Words mean things when they are backed up by actions. You can work out someone's intentions through intuition, past history and actions. Marriage ain't gonna stop actions from changing so I don't see how that's irrelevant. Same goes with words too. Marriage might be an intent to be monogamous but we all know that doesn't always happen. Documents and rights don't mean diddly squat when it comes to cheating and marriage. If that was true divorce lawyers wouldn't be making such a killing.
You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm not contesting what you're saying. All I'm saying is that look out for your interest because you can get screwed over in both situations (marriage or common law). Marriage just prevents your rights from being breached. Your BF can drop you in two seconds after dating you for two years for another woman. You can't do jack in common law. In marriage, take him to court and make him pay the price for lacking integrity.



But it's not about rights and going to court. That's not what we care about. It's about committing and not cheating. This clown seems to think someone has a right to cheat on a partner just because they're not married to them. It's a moral thing.
He's out to lunch on that. I'm not agreeing with him on this. I agree with him when he says that men use words to con women into getting in a relationship to bide their time. This narrative is commonplace. It screws women over all the time. I'm discussing an aspect to his OP which rings true.

Men con women into staying with them by marrying them but still cheat. No difference.


Yep, but then there's hell to pay.

And?
You're taken care of. You're not screwed over.

So what? You've still been cheated on, which is what people don't like.
If you really think about it, it's being screwed over and being made a fool that people don't like. People don't like to feel like they invested emotions, time, money, had children with a fool. Imagine being abandoned to fend for yourself for something you built with another? At best, you would want some recompense for it.

But you still got cheated on. Marriage doesn't stop this. Men who don't cheat on their wives don't not cheat because they're scared of their wife's reaction, it's because they believe in monogamy or didn't have an opportunity to.
You're circulating on one aspect of his post which I'm not even debating with you. I agree. I'm discussing another aspect of his post which is 'what is in the better interest for a woman: marriage or a simple relationship'.



Not once did he bring up courts and marriage protecting your rights and documents. It was that even if a guy was in a relationship with a girl he's still considered single by the government if they're not married and because of this he's morally allowed to see other women.

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I know he didn't. I brought it up. I know where he's heading with his post. I know why he mentioned the government. This is why he agreed with what I wrote earlier. Understand the underlying message that he's relaying as opposed to just seeing what he has written word for word. His message is basically that women are being screwed over in a relationship that's not registered.

The part where he equates loyalty with marriage is ridiculous, but I also realize what he's saying there. If a guy is making a big effort in the first place to get married to a woman (I don't mean being coerced by your gf to propose), then that shows a level of seriousness/commitment/action/intention (all the wonderful things you mentioned and I agreed with) on his part. Then, I can say "wow! This guy means business". Anything less is just chump change and also leaves you empty handed.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by aquarius09
The inherent message in this post that is passing over most people's heads is that verbal agreements mean nothing at the end of the day. A guy who is a boyfriend can pretty much up and leave you overnight or cheat on you and you can't do a single thing about it. You can definitely go crazy and take some crazy revenge on him, but guess who is losing? You when you're getting arrested for something crazy you did.

Marriage doesn't guarantee loyalty, but it sure does document things and gives you rights. A guy won't just be duping you overnight, and if he does, there will be hell to pay for it.

I think you're the one missing the point. It's not about rights and documents. It's about commitment. If you can't commit when you're in a relationship but not married then why will you be magically able to commit when your married. As far as I'm concerned those post marriage relationships are a good indicator of what marriage with that person could be like.
How do you assess or measure someone's commitment to you? Words, no?

Words and actions and intentions.
I edited my previous post.

Words don't mean anything. Words change with situation. Intentions are not seen by the naked eye. As for actions, that's all you've got but even that changes with time and situation.

Words mean things when they are backed up by actions. You can work out someone's intentions through intuition, past history and actions. Marriage ain't gonna stop actions from changing so I don't see how that's irrelevant. Same goes with words too. Marriage might be an intent to be monogamous but we all know that doesn't always happen. Documents and rights don't mean diddly squat when it comes to cheating and marriage. If that was true divorce lawyers wouldn't be making such a killing.
You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm not contesting what you're saying. All I'm saying is that look out for your interest because you can get screwed over in both situations (marriage or common law). Marriage just prevents your rights from being breached. Your BF can drop you in two seconds after dating you for two years for another woman. You can't do jack in common law. In marriage, take him to court and make him pay the price for lacking integrity.



But it's not about rights and going to court. That's not what we care about. It's about committing and not cheating. This clown seems to think someone has a right to cheat on a partner just because they're not married to them. It's a moral thing.
He's out to lunch on that. I'm not agreeing with him on this. I agree with him when he says that men use words to con women into getting in a relationship to bide their time. This narrative is commonplace. It screws women over all the time. I'm discussing an aspect to his OP which rings true.

Men con women into staying with them by marrying them but still cheat. No difference.


Yep, but then there's hell to pay.

And?
You're taken care of. You're not screwed over.

So what? You've still been cheated on, which is what people don't like.
If you really think about it, it's being screwed over and being made a fool that people don't like. People don't like to feel like they invested emotions, time, money, had children with a fool. Imagine being abandoned to fend for yourself for something you built with another? At best, you would want some recompense for it.

But you still got cheated on. Marriage doesn't stop this. Men who don't cheat on their wives don't not cheat because they're scared of their wife's reaction, it's because they believe in monogamy or didn't have an opportunity to.
You're circulating on one aspect of his post which I'm not even debating with you. I agree. I'm discussing another aspect of his post which is 'what is in the better interest for a woman: marriage or a simple relationship'.



Not once did he bring up courts and marriage protecting your rights and documents. It was that even if a guy was in a relationship with a girl he's still considered single by the government if they're not married and because of this he's morally allowed to see other women.

I know he didn't. I brought it up. I know where he's heading with his post. I know why he mentioned the government. This is why he agreed with what I wrote earlier. Understand the underlying message that he's relaying as opposed to just seeing what he has written word for word. His message is basically that women are being screwed over in a relationship that's not registered.

The part where he equates loyalty with marriage is ridiculous, but I also realize what he's saying there. If a guy is making a big effort in the first place to get married to a woman (I don't mean being coerced by your gf to propose), then that shows a level of seriousness/commitment/action/intention (all the wonderful things you mentioned and I agreed with) on his part. Then, I can say "wow! This guy means business". Anything less is just chump change and also leaves you empty handed.

He brought up the government thing to play word games. If he was going the way you said he would then he would've done it by now. You're just putting words in his mouth and reading messages that are not there. It's all about being allowed to cheat (he can say it's not cheating but it is if both of you haven't agreed to an open relationship) just because you're not married.

I agree with the last bit of your post though.
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A lot of what he wrote where he's equating marriage with loyalty is bullshit. I don't agree with his post on everything but he's made a valid point, which is why I'm even posting here.

Posted by TheCanBull
Takes the Cancer suns to see through the OP's BS lol, no offense Aqua's, you awesome.
? I don't think so unless the OP is one of you guys. Don't make this about Aqua vs. Cancers.
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll
Posted by P-Angel

If a guy isn't committed to you, and is just a boyfriend, especially an ldr or cyber boyfriend ... then he's most likely entertaining the attentions of others.
Wow the men in your life growing up really did a good job in convincing you they can't control themselves.
I was just noticing that, with other astrology forums mention this too, about how there's a lot of people who don't know how to commit to a relationship.

but look, a lot of us are here have been committed to even an astrology board. That's commitment right here.

even if it's in a "detached" way cause we're all 7th house (having relationships with eachother) 3rd house of communicating, and 11thhouse of groups.


edit

and if only people could commit DEEPLY 12th, 8th and 4th house maybe? the deeper end of the pool....

and maybe some earth to bury them deep, so they can't escape.
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You know I have 7th house 28 degrees in Capricorn, and Gemini in 12th 27 degrees. So friendships is cool to start I wouldn't want to jump right in no matter how much fire pull they had on me. I would initiate then wait and watch.
Thats side chick though, and do you want to be the main side chick/mistress or Queen.
Which one you settle for?
Not the first date though either. If a spark happens and you can hold a conversation about random things for an 1 hour that gives you time to talk while food is preparing.
While food is preparing let loose and talk. By the end of dessert you will know just by conversation if you want to see each other again in 2 weeks tops.
I think though before you even get a first date. You ask are you single or married ? Or are you seeing someone? It's then your choice of the matter.
Posted by communicator
I am in awe at the naivety of my female friends. Boyfriend does not mean exclusive monogamous relationship that's called marriage! A verbal understanding is only to make you feel better about having sex with a single man. The federal government refers to an unmarried man as single. Therefore a single man is under no obligation to you. However Men will tell you what you want to hear if that means we get sex.

The wife gets the commitment, not the girlfriend! Girlfriend does not have the same ranking as a wife. When an unmarried woman says the unmarried guy is "cheating" that is ridiculous. Expect an unmarried single man to have other women.

Until you are his wife he is under no obligation to be faithful. And until you are the wife I suggest you don't offer monogamy. Tell him you will stop seeing other men when you are married, until then, like him, you are single. That's the quickest way to be the wife. Women commit to us after a couple of months of pretty words and dinners. If you are already monogamous with us, what will be the reason to marry you?????


In an unmarried relationship guys always got the upper hand but in a marriage it is for the woman or atleast gets equal. I measured it on one single point - biological clock. Unless she is ready to conceive and have a baby without getting married or doesn't want any kids then she will be wasting her precious time and life staying in an unmarried relationship for long.

That's true too.