Now What? Virgo/Scorpio
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by So on Thursday, April 19, 2007 and has 43 replies.
As some of you might know, I started the posting called "Scorpio & Virgo Dilemma". Yesterday, my Scorpman got a card in the mail that read: "thought of you today, liked it so much I'll do it again tomorrow".
No signature and addressed only to him. He came into kitchen to ask me if I sent it to him -- I didn't and of course, I calmly asked if there is someone else in his life that he should be telling me about. He says "absolutley not" "I've got nothing to hide" "I love you, who would send this?"
WHAT? I can't be crazy for thinking this -- especially considering all that's happened in past year..and mostly, I just feel sad. I can't even tell you how fast my mind is racing, -- epecially with baby coming. Could it be his ex-girl? Sure.(She's also a scorpio) But, right now I am out -- can't talk to him, can't look at him, feeling like a zombie. Yes, I virgo will retreat.
No signature and addressed only to him. He came into kitchen to ask me if I sent it to him -- I didn't and of course, I calmly asked if there is someone else in his life that he should be telling me about. He says "absolutley not" "I've got nothing to hide" "I love you, who would send this?"
WHAT? I can't be crazy for thinking this -- especially considering all that's happened in past year..and mostly, I just feel sad. I can't even tell you how fast my mind is racing, -- epecially with baby coming. Could it be his ex-girl? Sure.(She's also a scorpio) But, right now I am out -- can't talk to him, can't look at him, feeling like a zombie. Yes, I virgo will retreat.
So,
It is natural to assume the worst. However, you have to look at the fact that he came to you and asked if you sent the card. If he was dealing with another woman I doubt he would have asked if you sent it. Infact, I doubt he would have brought it up period.
So, if I were you I would take some comfort in that.
If it is his ex girlfriend, there is really nothing you can do about it. Let her be immature and scandalous. You keep yourself calm... She will definitely get hers one of these days, if it is her being disrespectful. Just talk to him openly, and share your concerns when you are ready to talk.
I know it is much easier said than done, but do not allow this to upset you too much.
Good luck!
Maianm
It is natural to assume the worst. However, you have to look at the fact that he came to you and asked if you sent the card. If he was dealing with another woman I doubt he would have asked if you sent it. Infact, I doubt he would have brought it up period.
So, if I were you I would take some comfort in that.
If it is his ex girlfriend, there is really nothing you can do about it. Let her be immature and scandalous. You keep yourself calm... She will definitely get hers one of these days, if it is her being disrespectful. Just talk to him openly, and share your concerns when you are ready to talk.
I know it is much easier said than done, but do not allow this to upset you too much.
Good luck!
Maianm
But look at the other side of this. He could of come to her and asked her if she sent it to appear as if he has nothing to hide. I don't know the facts of the situation or the relationship, so just looking at this from another viewpoint.
No need to compare handwriting - card is typed. I live in the real world, and in the real world people cheat -- especially if we're having sex about once a month and he's complained for a long time that I don't initiate -- I did take all advice on DXP board, thougth it over and did inititate once recently.
Keeping all this in mind...come on, give me a break -- putting the pieces together, it is not unreasonable. By the way, some people on DXP board even hinted that Scorpios like to feel wanted, if not, they tend to look elsewhere when not "satisfied"..I assume that's everyone, not just Scorpios.
Sorry, but I don't think I'm in the wrong for my reaction. If roles were reversed, my Scorpio would probably be tapping my cell phone.
Keeping all this in mind...come on, give me a break -- putting the pieces together, it is not unreasonable. By the way, some people on DXP board even hinted that Scorpios like to feel wanted, if not, they tend to look elsewhere when not "satisfied"..I assume that's everyone, not just Scorpios.
Sorry, but I don't think I'm in the wrong for my reaction. If roles were reversed, my Scorpio would probably be tapping my cell phone.
Hi so, i remember your older post and i believe my opinion to you was you were wrong, but reading this i'd have to side with you for the fact, please keep in mind everyone ..She is pregnant & if i may say so myself she is acting better then most pregnant woman would...She cant help but feel this way after whats been going on also.. Now if i was you i'd be suspicious as so would he and chances are the rest of us on here, but please try to keep calm if not even for you, or him..YOUR BABY..stress right now isn't a good thing at all for the both of you. I can't imagine anyone with a heart which from what you have posted he seems to have a big one, between his staying power with you..a scorpio trying to be verbal, when telling you how he's feeling..it itself is a great thing & also the cute thing with you in the car and flowers... Point being..you have having his baby, his child...I really don't feel he would put you through that while being pregnant..If i was you i wouldn't forget about it all together...but remember something, if you go over board with this and you pester him and yell rant scream.. and he hasn't done anything, that makes the person tempted to do it, For the fact of being accused over & over again for something they haven't done.. with that said i'd like to say something else (of course) lol Even if it his ex and you have that feeling, She might want HIM back but obviously he is WITH YOU* so she has already lost..but again please TRY* and be calm & ok for your baby...Once the baby is born, it's a differen't ball game.
forgive the spelling errors. lol
So,
Ohhhhhh... Where to begin?!? Personally, I would say the man did not cheat. Yes, he could come with the card to you as a reason to make it look like he was being open and honest and not cheating (if he was, as candlz suggested), but that is just asinine. He keeps his mouth shut, and there is very little (other than the lack of sex) to suggest that he may be cheating. He shoes it to her, and yes, could be making it to "seem" like he is being honest and open, but is also giving her a whopping suggestion that he could be cheating. It's counterproductive. Beyond that, it doesn't seem to follow.
Personally, my emotional state is directly connected to my sex drive. If I am happy and with someone I like, I AM HORNY (level of horniness directly equivalent to level of like)! BUT, if I am with someone that I like, really like, or even love and something in that relationship with them is negatively affecting my emotional state (making me unhappy, hurt, sad, depressed, etc), I am NOT horny. It is not withholding sex. It is not punishment. It is merely having my emotional state altered in such a negative way that I cannot come close to wanting to have sex (or eat, or not eat, or sleep, or not sleep, or function like a normal fucking person). You only have sex once a month... That doesn't necessarily mean that he is getting it elsewhere. You may have just merely screwed him up so damn bad that he doesn't want it from ANYWHERE... You have a higher probability of having sex when he is drunk? Yes, because the alcohol can help him forget the pain that you have caused him...
If I was pushed to the point (given the situation) of actually wanting to cheat, you can be rest assured that I woulc not continue to stick around and let the negative issues in the relationship continue to affect me. At some point, he will go elsewhere. But, he is not going to cheat on you, he is merely going to give up and he is going to leave you, for good...
You initiated...once... Wow. That would make me feel really special. He told you what the problem is. He told you how you can help to correct it. I am sorry this sounds harsh, but in three months, the best effort you can put forth for the man you supposedly love and care about is once? I doubt he is asking for you to do it every time. Perhaps not even half the time... But, damn, you sure as heck know he meant more than once. Relationships are GIVE AND TAKE. It sounds like all you are doing is taking...
Ohhhhhh... Where to begin?!? Personally, I would say the man did not cheat. Yes, he could come with the card to you as a reason to make it look like he was being open and honest and not cheating (if he was, as candlz suggested), but that is just asinine. He keeps his mouth shut, and there is very little (other than the lack of sex) to suggest that he may be cheating. He shoes it to her, and yes, could be making it to "seem" like he is being honest and open, but is also giving her a whopping suggestion that he could be cheating. It's counterproductive. Beyond that, it doesn't seem to follow.
Personally, my emotional state is directly connected to my sex drive. If I am happy and with someone I like, I AM HORNY (level of horniness directly equivalent to level of like)! BUT, if I am with someone that I like, really like, or even love and something in that relationship with them is negatively affecting my emotional state (making me unhappy, hurt, sad, depressed, etc), I am NOT horny. It is not withholding sex. It is not punishment. It is merely having my emotional state altered in such a negative way that I cannot come close to wanting to have sex (or eat, or not eat, or sleep, or not sleep, or function like a normal fucking person). You only have sex once a month... That doesn't necessarily mean that he is getting it elsewhere. You may have just merely screwed him up so damn bad that he doesn't want it from ANYWHERE... You have a higher probability of having sex when he is drunk? Yes, because the alcohol can help him forget the pain that you have caused him...
If I was pushed to the point (given the situation) of actually wanting to cheat, you can be rest assured that I woulc not continue to stick around and let the negative issues in the relationship continue to affect me. At some point, he will go elsewhere. But, he is not going to cheat on you, he is merely going to give up and he is going to leave you, for good...
You initiated...once... Wow. That would make me feel really special. He told you what the problem is. He told you how you can help to correct it. I am sorry this sounds harsh, but in three months, the best effort you can put forth for the man you supposedly love and care about is once? I doubt he is asking for you to do it every time. Perhaps not even half the time... But, damn, you sure as heck know he meant more than once. Relationships are GIVE AND TAKE. It sounds like all you are doing is taking...
LOL!
That's a really mysterious card and whomever sent it assumes he'd know its her. Did you notice the postmark, was it a local zipcode or in an area that his ex lives in?
I'm like you, I'm very suspicious and have very little faith in men so I understand your concerns. But I think they have a point about expectations and their outcome. I heard many faithful guys say "if she thinks I'm cheating and has no faith in me, then what am I being faithful for? I might as well cheat.." Now don't panic, I don't think he's cheating on you. I think you do need to step up and initiate with your man. My cousin is old and wise and he gives me plenty of insight into the male mind. He told me this the other day "if a woman withholds sex from her man she needs to understand that there are many other women out there that would love to do whatever he wants that you're not doing. Pussy is very easy to get, too easy so withholding it is the stupidest thing you can do if you want to keep your man" Obviously someone else wants him so try to push your initiating fears aside, talk to him about your feelings, compromise and initiate every now and then.
I'm like you, I'm very suspicious and have very little faith in men so I understand your concerns. But I think they have a point about expectations and their outcome. I heard many faithful guys say "if she thinks I'm cheating and has no faith in me, then what am I being faithful for? I might as well cheat.." Now don't panic, I don't think he's cheating on you. I think you do need to step up and initiate with your man. My cousin is old and wise and he gives me plenty of insight into the male mind. He told me this the other day "if a woman withholds sex from her man she needs to understand that there are many other women out there that would love to do whatever he wants that you're not doing. Pussy is very easy to get, too easy so withholding it is the stupidest thing you can do if you want to keep your man" Obviously someone else wants him so try to push your initiating fears aside, talk to him about your feelings, compromise and initiate every now and then.
Still remaining calm -- at least, on the outside. So, here's my tirade--sorry...
I haven't said anything more about the card to him, but neither has he. What the heck? The day it happened, he agreed that he understood why I would be thinking what I was thinking. How about some reassurance here? Did I mention I'm the size of a circus tent right now! Almost 7 months pregnant. So, here we are ignoring the HUGE issue that's hanging in the air. I'm having trouble ignoring an issue like this. I want to scream "FU, prove to me nothing is going on"..I know, childish, but honest.
Yes, most people don't have issues initiating..I have done so in past relationships, but I was never with someone that was so bothered by the fact that I didn't initiate much. But with our situation so far gone, it's become so difficult. Here's my tantrum: I want my old scorpioman back, the way he used to be in the beginning.
To answer an earlier question, yes, we hold hands and hug alot, usually initiated by him. He's usually at the door when I get home from work (he gets home before I do) and hugs/kisses me everyday. He asked me once to "throw him a bone"..well, I did. I clearly told him that I would not do most of the sexual initiating in the relationship -- I handle plenty of other areas of our relationship and I look out for him.
No, I'm not a gushy hallmark card but I have his back, get him a blanket, take him to doctor's office, check on him when he's having a really bad day, send him text messages that say "hi, thinking of u", held his hand/heart when his brother/sister/father all passed away, I make sure our finances are in order and don't blow our $ $ and look out for our future.
May sound boring but I think these are some of the reasons as to why he's with me. I was attracted to him because he was the "I Love You" guy -- said it all the time and showed it, showed up at my work with flowers, initiated sex all the time and is very affectionate. Yes, he provided what I needed/wanted , was opposite from the way that I show love. Then, he changes it up by saying to me "hey, when will you be more like me?" HUH?? There's no changing allowed darnit!! LOL.
I haven't said anything more about the card to him, but neither has he. What the heck? The day it happened, he agreed that he understood why I would be thinking what I was thinking. How about some reassurance here? Did I mention I'm the size of a circus tent right now! Almost 7 months pregnant. So, here we are ignoring the HUGE issue that's hanging in the air. I'm having trouble ignoring an issue like this. I want to scream "FU, prove to me nothing is going on"..I know, childish, but honest.
Yes, most people don't have issues initiating..I have done so in past relationships, but I was never with someone that was so bothered by the fact that I didn't initiate much. But with our situation so far gone, it's become so difficult. Here's my tantrum: I want my old scorpioman back, the way he used to be in the beginning.
To answer an earlier question, yes, we hold hands and hug alot, usually initiated by him. He's usually at the door when I get home from work (he gets home before I do) and hugs/kisses me everyday. He asked me once to "throw him a bone"..well, I did. I clearly told him that I would not do most of the sexual initiating in the relationship -- I handle plenty of other areas of our relationship and I look out for him.
No, I'm not a gushy hallmark card but I have his back, get him a blanket, take him to doctor's office, check on him when he's having a really bad day, send him text messages that say "hi, thinking of u", held his hand/heart when his brother/sister/father all passed away, I make sure our finances are in order and don't blow our $ $ and look out for our future.
May sound boring but I think these are some of the reasons as to why he's with me. I was attracted to him because he was the "I Love You" guy -- said it all the time and showed it, showed up at my work with flowers, initiated sex all the time and is very affectionate. Yes, he provided what I needed/wanted , was opposite from the way that I show love. Then, he changes it up by saying to me "hey, when will you be more like me?" HUH?? There's no changing allowed darnit!! LOL.
So,
Scorpios are emotional people, and they NEED affection. Yes, he may have been attracted to your practical nature and no doubt loves that about you, but we NEED to FEEL loved. Practical caring alone can be very hard for a Scorp to get the emotional "love fix" we need from. We will try to be patient hoping that it (or something) will come. We will try to get what we need from what small bones you throw us. We will try to understand. But, there comes a point when the lack of affection becomes too much... This point is where you are at now. This was his attempt to meet you halfway, hoping that at some point you would attempt to do the same.
From the sounds of it, you see to his needs quite well. From the sounds of it you are attempting to show him your affection through your practical caring, which is beautiful. But, for a Scorp, our emotional needs are FAR more important than our "practical" ones. You are seeing to his "practical" needs, but you have barely attempted to acknowledge his emotional ones. THIS is the problem between the two of you.
"I want my old scorpioman back, the way he used to be in the beginning."
Unless you attempt to meet him halfway, then you will never get you "old scorpioman" back and stand a good chance of losing him forever. I find an intersting thing in your posts... I hear a lot about what YOU want, but at every turn you easily dismiss what HE wants that he has clearly communicated to you.
"He asked me once to "throw him a bone"..well, I did."
You did...once. OUCH! How else can I say it?!?!? OUCH!! ALLLLLLLLLLL of the affection (hugs, kisses, sex) in your relationship is initiated by him. Do you NOT love this man?!?!? Because, that is the picture that I am getting, and I am not even the one on the receiving end. What the hell else his he supposed to think when the only time you kiss him is when he attempts to kiss you?!? I have an inability to even fathom that concept...
Your posts talk about what you want, what you need, what you will and will not do for him that he just has to accept... Are relationships, in your mind, so one sided that he is truly expected to accept the demands and rules you lay down about what you want, need, will, and will not do without you even having to attempt to meet him halfway and compromise? And before it goes there, ONCE is not halfway... You seem to have extremely unrealistic expectations as to how a relationship should work...
Scorpios are emotional people, and they NEED affection. Yes, he may have been attracted to your practical nature and no doubt loves that about you, but we NEED to FEEL loved. Practical caring alone can be very hard for a Scorp to get the emotional "love fix" we need from. We will try to be patient hoping that it (or something) will come. We will try to get what we need from what small bones you throw us. We will try to understand. But, there comes a point when the lack of affection becomes too much... This point is where you are at now. This was his attempt to meet you halfway, hoping that at some point you would attempt to do the same.
From the sounds of it, you see to his needs quite well. From the sounds of it you are attempting to show him your affection through your practical caring, which is beautiful. But, for a Scorp, our emotional needs are FAR more important than our "practical" ones. You are seeing to his "practical" needs, but you have barely attempted to acknowledge his emotional ones. THIS is the problem between the two of you.
"I want my old scorpioman back, the way he used to be in the beginning."
Unless you attempt to meet him halfway, then you will never get you "old scorpioman" back and stand a good chance of losing him forever. I find an intersting thing in your posts... I hear a lot about what YOU want, but at every turn you easily dismiss what HE wants that he has clearly communicated to you.
"He asked me once to "throw him a bone"..well, I did."
You did...once. OUCH! How else can I say it?!?!? OUCH!! ALLLLLLLLLLL of the affection (hugs, kisses, sex) in your relationship is initiated by him. Do you NOT love this man?!?!? Because, that is the picture that I am getting, and I am not even the one on the receiving end. What the hell else his he supposed to think when the only time you kiss him is when he attempts to kiss you?!? I have an inability to even fathom that concept...
Your posts talk about what you want, what you need, what you will and will not do for him that he just has to accept... Are relationships, in your mind, so one sided that he is truly expected to accept the demands and rules you lay down about what you want, need, will, and will not do without you even having to attempt to meet him halfway and compromise? And before it goes there, ONCE is not halfway... You seem to have extremely unrealistic expectations as to how a relationship should work...
And after all of this... It is his fault, because he changed. He is obviously cheating, because you are only having sex once a month. You are upset at him, because he is not reassuring you enough that he ISN'T have an affair. Wow... If he is such a horrible person, and you are obviously merely the victim in all of this, why would you even want to fight so hard for this relationship?!?
One more thing...
"I haven't said anything more about the card to him, but neither has he."
He more than likely hasn't brought it up too NOT further hurt you. He knows it upset you. Why would he want to keep reminding you of something that upsets you, if he cares about you?!? And, why would he need to keep reassuring the person that he loves and supposedly loves him that she should be able to trust him? Maybe I have a twisted view of things, but I always thought people tried to think the best of the people they loved, not the worst...
One more thing...
"I haven't said anything more about the card to him, but neither has he."
He more than likely hasn't brought it up too NOT further hurt you. He knows it upset you. Why would he want to keep reminding you of something that upsets you, if he cares about you?!? And, why would he need to keep reassuring the person that he loves and supposedly loves him that she should be able to trust him? Maybe I have a twisted view of things, but I always thought people tried to think the best of the people they loved, not the worst...
Why don't you just BE childish and rant for crying out loud..show him some emotion!...full on...
A) he won't blame you but your current hormones etc
B) you will get your answer
C) He will know that it actually bothered you (he might be thinking you don't care enough to ask)
Just my two cents..
A) he won't blame you but your current hormones etc
B) you will get your answer
C) He will know that it actually bothered you (he might be thinking you don't care enough to ask)
Just my two cents..
Hahaha..as if!!!!!!!!!!
Ummm, is it possible that HE SENT THE CARD TO **HIMSELF** TO GET YOUR ATTENTION???
It may seem childish, but if he's a good guy and trying not to get his attention and affection needs met elsewhere, maybe he figured he'd try something else to get YOUR attention and get you to fight for him?
Just a thought.
It may seem childish, but if he's a good guy and trying not to get his attention and affection needs met elsewhere, maybe he figured he'd try something else to get YOUR attention and get you to fight for him?
Just a thought.
So,
I don't know if I would expect the worse yet. It really all depends on the real nature of your relationship. The questions would be; "have you dished out any subtle or overt manipulative moves to get him to do what you want"? Or "are you so detached that the poor guy had to do something to get your attention"? Or "is there someone else"? I doubt that the latter is true...
Nevertheless, there seems to be a problem that needs to be addressed. You see, scorpio and virgo lacks what the other has. Where virgo is concerned, they have the natural capacity to detach themselves to deal with the practical side of lifes details,(I find that to be an invaluable quality) while scorpio feels so much of what they experience in life that it affects them on deep levels. For example, they need to feel the love and passion from their partner on a deep level until trust has been established. Once the trust is there and if the combination is right, this partnership has enormous potential. If scorpio does not get this, he/she can literally become angry, the anger turns to hate and eventually the love dies - never to be again. Seriously.
This is not to say that virgos feelings and emotional life are not deep. Quite the contrary, I have a sense that their feelings are so deep that they can scare them, and upset the order that they work so hard to maintain. This is why maturity and the ability to communicate is so essential. Mull over this a bit more.
I don't know if I would expect the worse yet. It really all depends on the real nature of your relationship. The questions would be; "have you dished out any subtle or overt manipulative moves to get him to do what you want"? Or "are you so detached that the poor guy had to do something to get your attention"? Or "is there someone else"? I doubt that the latter is true...
Nevertheless, there seems to be a problem that needs to be addressed. You see, scorpio and virgo lacks what the other has. Where virgo is concerned, they have the natural capacity to detach themselves to deal with the practical side of lifes details,(I find that to be an invaluable quality) while scorpio feels so much of what they experience in life that it affects them on deep levels. For example, they need to feel the love and passion from their partner on a deep level until trust has been established. Once the trust is there and if the combination is right, this partnership has enormous potential. If scorpio does not get this, he/she can literally become angry, the anger turns to hate and eventually the love dies - never to be again. Seriously.
This is not to say that virgos feelings and emotional life are not deep. Quite the contrary, I have a sense that their feelings are so deep that they can scare them, and upset the order that they work so hard to maintain. This is why maturity and the ability to communicate is so essential. Mull over this a bit more.
"Ummm, is it possible that HE SENT THE CARD TO **HIMSELF** TO GET YOUR ATTENTION???"
I was thinking the same thing and wondered if she checked the postmark of the card. It seems quite odd that its unsigned and typed and he does not know who it is. Do you think a Scorpio man would go to those extremes (I can see a woman doing that but wonder if a Scorpio man in love could resort to that)?
MissMorals - do Scorpio men like their women ranting and causing a storm of emotions? As crazy as it sounds, I am thinking its true. When I wasn't showing my Scorpio emotions (because I was withdrawing due to losing my job) he got upset at my abrupt lack of attention/affection and tried to pick a fight. He told me he didn't want to sound like a whiny baby but he was very bothered by it and thought I was losing interest. I was aloof when I replied to him. He then said "Show me some emotions!! Anything!" and then I told him to call me back and he said "Ok, I'm gonna call you right back...I wonder how many times a day you'd call me?" I said "I'm not a phone person so maybe once to say goodnight (fully knowing that he needs 3x/day phone calls) He said "I call you all the time, see how you got me under your control?" I didn't understand what he meant by that until a week later when he abruptly decreased his phone calls to me, so then I turned into the one panicking. I showed emotions, told him off for picking a fight and he loved it. The "control" shifted to him and I don't like it. Since then he's been unpredictable with contacting me and it bothers me. Now I'm the whiny baby and he seems to be more in control of his emotions and less sentimental now (I don't like this at all).
I was thinking the same thing and wondered if she checked the postmark of the card. It seems quite odd that its unsigned and typed and he does not know who it is. Do you think a Scorpio man would go to those extremes (I can see a woman doing that but wonder if a Scorpio man in love could resort to that)?
MissMorals - do Scorpio men like their women ranting and causing a storm of emotions? As crazy as it sounds, I am thinking its true. When I wasn't showing my Scorpio emotions (because I was withdrawing due to losing my job) he got upset at my abrupt lack of attention/affection and tried to pick a fight. He told me he didn't want to sound like a whiny baby but he was very bothered by it and thought I was losing interest. I was aloof when I replied to him. He then said "Show me some emotions!! Anything!" and then I told him to call me back and he said "Ok, I'm gonna call you right back...I wonder how many times a day you'd call me?" I said "I'm not a phone person so maybe once to say goodnight (fully knowing that he needs 3x/day phone calls) He said "I call you all the time, see how you got me under your control?" I didn't understand what he meant by that until a week later when he abruptly decreased his phone calls to me, so then I turned into the one panicking. I showed emotions, told him off for picking a fight and he loved it. The "control" shifted to him and I don't like it. Since then he's been unpredictable with contacting me and it bothers me. Now I'm the whiny baby and he seems to be more in control of his emotions and less sentimental now (I don't like this at all).
Capangel: "do Scorpio men like their women ranting and causing a storm of emotions? As crazy as it sounds, I am thinking its true"
Yes!!!...not all the time, but at times you need to vent at them to get the message through..they defo know for sure how you feel then and that you actually care...Remember we can be dramatic at times..and that includes the men!..
Yes!!!...not all the time, but at times you need to vent at them to get the message through..they defo know for sure how you feel then and that you actually care...Remember we can be dramatic at times..and that includes the men!..
Read your posts..I have officially lost my marbles. Scorpman got 3 calls this weekend that he did not pick up on his cell - not totally unusual for him, but then he tells me he's going golfing on Sunday with his buddy who'd been calling him. I was going to a play with friends on Sunday. Later on Sunday, Scorpman calls me 2 times while I'm out to ask when I might be home since he's making dinner. We eat dinner and his phone rings 2 more times, he does not pick up. Ok, so at this point asked him calmly: "why aren't you picking up?" he says "it's just my buddy bugging me about the golf game and how he kicked my butt" Anyhow, needless to say, I lost it..started to cry like a 2 year old. He looked at me like I just killed his dog. I blubbered to him that it seemed to me that with all that's going on, it seemed "strange" that he'd be surprised with my reaction..want some reassurance here. He said he didn't know what to say other than "nothing is going on"..I wouldn't be with someone else, we have a baby coming" -- HUH??? This is the reason? because of the baby -- some form of obligation? Needless to say, I used up a box of Kleenex tissues and this emotional crap is for the birds! Yep, Scorpio paybacks are a bitch and I don't do headgames. Thx for the venting..
"Thx for the venting.."
My suggestion, quit venting to us and VENT TO HIM...
""..I wouldn't be with someone else, we have a baby coming" -- HUH??? This is the reason? because of the baby -- some form of obligation?"
Did you ask HIM this?!? You need to communicate these concerns and fears and questions to HIM...
My suggestion, quit venting to us and VENT TO HIM...
""..I wouldn't be with someone else, we have a baby coming" -- HUH??? This is the reason? because of the baby -- some form of obligation?"
Did you ask HIM this?!? You need to communicate these concerns and fears and questions to HIM...
Do you two actually talk about anything?...its highly frustrating..Personally I wouldn't tolerate it...
Just go and scream at the bloke...
Sheesh
Just go and scream at the bloke...
Sheesh
Yep, absolutely....everything that is posted here by me, he HAS heard from me -- screaming, yelling, quietly -- all of it. Ok, well enough of that.
Yay!!!!
::high 5::
::high 5::
Pluto's Muse:
Yep, I asked him "is that what you're saying? that baby would be the only reason why there wouldn't be someone else?"
He said "no, that's not it, but it's part of the reason, why would I have someone else when we have a baby coming--of course it's part of the reason"
Well, golly gee, thanks! Sorry, but this doesn't make a crapload of sense.
I don't sleep with other people because I'm in love with scorpman -- that's it..bottom line -- nothing to do with the baby.
Yep, I asked him "is that what you're saying? that baby would be the only reason why there wouldn't be someone else?"
He said "no, that's not it, but it's part of the reason, why would I have someone else when we have a baby coming--of course it's part of the reason"
Well, golly gee, thanks! Sorry, but this doesn't make a crapload of sense.
I don't sleep with other people because I'm in love with scorpman -- that's it..bottom line -- nothing to do with the baby.
So,
I'm sorry but to me it sounds like he's cheating. I think he's saying, "because we are having a baby right now I can't admit it." I am very jealous and very suspicious by nature. And I see red flags left and right. Next time he gets a call and does not answer it, tell him you'll answer for him and take a message. It will calm your suspicions. Get the number of the person calling and call it when he's not around using *67 or whatever that is to hide your number. Do some detective work. It will keep you busy. It may confirm or put to rest your suspicions, but I think you need to for your own piece of mind.
I'm sorry but to me it sounds like he's cheating. I think he's saying, "because we are having a baby right now I can't admit it." I am very jealous and very suspicious by nature. And I see red flags left and right. Next time he gets a call and does not answer it, tell him you'll answer for him and take a message. It will calm your suspicions. Get the number of the person calling and call it when he's not around using *67 or whatever that is to hide your number. Do some detective work. It will keep you busy. It may confirm or put to rest your suspicions, but I think you need to for your own piece of mind.
"Get the number of the person calling and call it when he's not around using *67 or whatever that is to hide your number. Do some detective work."
That sounds like something I would do. I hate that I'm so suspicious. So, ifyou don't believe his word then being a detective may solve the puzzle. Hopefully the outcome is good. The only bad thing about this is if he finds out and he was actually innocent, he might get pissed by the invasion of privacy. Or if you call and hear a woman's voice, and hang up without speaking to the woman, it could lead to false conclusions (woman could be relative or buggy ex girl trying to ruin your relationship). If you know his buddy's name that he went golfing with, then you can look for his number in the call history of his phone to see if it matches the specific times that he ignored the calls.
That sounds like something I would do. I hate that I'm so suspicious. So, ifyou don't believe his word then being a detective may solve the puzzle. Hopefully the outcome is good. The only bad thing about this is if he finds out and he was actually innocent, he might get pissed by the invasion of privacy. Or if you call and hear a woman's voice, and hang up without speaking to the woman, it could lead to false conclusions (woman could be relative or buggy ex girl trying to ruin your relationship). If you know his buddy's name that he went golfing with, then you can look for his number in the call history of his phone to see if it matches the specific times that he ignored the calls.
Missmorals - thanks for the insight!
Besides those confrontations, has he acted differently or going out more? Is he still affectionate? Do you go to bed angry? How about initiating some makeup sex, Scorps love that!
When is the baby due?
I'm thinking about your situation and I think snooping should be a last resort. Tell him your concerns about the strangeness of the situation and that you need evidence. Let him know all this stress isn't good for the baby and you need to do this in order to clear your mind. Ask him if you can look at his phone (address book, call history) and tell him if you see a suspicious phone call or number. You can then call that number in front of him and speak to the person. If he has nothing to hide, he should comply (if he objects then he's probably guilty so snooping is plan B). I did this with my ex and he was much more cooperative than the time I snooped in his email (that started a huge fight over his privacy). If he's innocent, you'll get your confirmation, then you should apologize for not trusting him (blame it on the hormones lol) & then initiate some great make-up sex.
When is the baby due?
I'm thinking about your situation and I think snooping should be a last resort. Tell him your concerns about the strangeness of the situation and that you need evidence. Let him know all this stress isn't good for the baby and you need to do this in order to clear your mind. Ask him if you can look at his phone (address book, call history) and tell him if you see a suspicious phone call or number. You can then call that number in front of him and speak to the person. If he has nothing to hide, he should comply (if he objects then he's probably guilty so snooping is plan B). I did this with my ex and he was much more cooperative than the time I snooped in his email (that started a huge fight over his privacy). If he's innocent, you'll get your confirmation, then you should apologize for not trusting him (blame it on the hormones lol) & then initiate some great make-up sex.
CapAngel:
Nothing different lately between he/I other than he receiving the card and the two phone calls. He's still affectionate (holds hands, hugs, kisses, calls).
Turns out that his friend DID call those two times about golf. So, the two calls are explained, but still have the card he got & lack of sex issue.
This has been going on a long time and to be blunt, I DID initiate that one time because of him, it wasn't really because I wanted to do it. It didn't make me feel good later, it made me feel like I had to do it. I want the aggressive Scorpman back and it's just not going to happen.
Lately, I am always bringing this issue up with him, he never discusses anymore, it's as if it doesn't phase him that a month rolls by. What a turn-off.
Someone on DXP said that my postings say "I" alot, "I" want, "I" need..yes, with this sex issue, that DXP person was absolutely right -- I believe that I am completely selfish--Wow, I am a complete self-absorbed sex Bi*ch and don't want to compromise. That's the truth , but what's also true is that this won't get us anywhere.
Nothing different lately between he/I other than he receiving the card and the two phone calls. He's still affectionate (holds hands, hugs, kisses, calls).
Turns out that his friend DID call those two times about golf. So, the two calls are explained, but still have the card he got & lack of sex issue.
This has been going on a long time and to be blunt, I DID initiate that one time because of him, it wasn't really because I wanted to do it. It didn't make me feel good later, it made me feel like I had to do it. I want the aggressive Scorpman back and it's just not going to happen.
Lately, I am always bringing this issue up with him, he never discusses anymore, it's as if it doesn't phase him that a month rolls by. What a turn-off.
Someone on DXP said that my postings say "I" alot, "I" want, "I" need..yes, with this sex issue, that DXP person was absolutely right -- I believe that I am completely selfish--Wow, I am a complete self-absorbed sex Bi*ch and don't want to compromise. That's the truth , but what's also true is that this won't get us anywhere.
CapAngel:
"Ask him if you can look at his phone (address book, call history) and tell him if you see a suspicious phone call or number. You can then call that number in front of him and speak to the person. If he has nothing to hide, he should comply (if he objects then he's probably guilty so snooping is plan B)."
I am sorry, but hell no... Even if I had nothing to hide, you would have to pry that phone out of my cold, dead hands and you can be rest assured that would have a GREAT impact on our relationship. A person you care about should not have to PROVE that they are doing nothing wrong when they are doing nothing wrong. Perhaps some Joe Blow off the street, but NOT your partner. A person should not have to continually prove their character to the person that they love and "supposedly" loves them.
I posted this on the Libra board, but I think that it works here, too:
"Yeah, gotta agree with that one. Like Libras, once Scorps are in they are in for the count and loyal to the bone. And, to ever question or doubt that is one of the biggest slaps in the face. To ever mistrust him would be a direct reflection of your feelings towards him and the type of character you think that he has. If you cannot trust the person that you are with, then perhaps you should not be with them in the first place, as you obviously believe them to be a very low person..."
"Ask him if you can look at his phone (address book, call history) and tell him if you see a suspicious phone call or number. You can then call that number in front of him and speak to the person. If he has nothing to hide, he should comply (if he objects then he's probably guilty so snooping is plan B)."
I am sorry, but hell no... Even if I had nothing to hide, you would have to pry that phone out of my cold, dead hands and you can be rest assured that would have a GREAT impact on our relationship. A person you care about should not have to PROVE that they are doing nothing wrong when they are doing nothing wrong. Perhaps some Joe Blow off the street, but NOT your partner. A person should not have to continually prove their character to the person that they love and "supposedly" loves them.
I posted this on the Libra board, but I think that it works here, too:
"Yeah, gotta agree with that one. Like Libras, once Scorps are in they are in for the count and loyal to the bone. And, to ever question or doubt that is one of the biggest slaps in the face. To ever mistrust him would be a direct reflection of your feelings towards him and the type of character you think that he has. If you cannot trust the person that you are with, then perhaps you should not be with them in the first place, as you obviously believe them to be a very low person..."
So:
"Nothing different lately between he/I other than he receiving the card and the two phone calls. He's still affectionate (holds hands, hugs, kisses, calls)."
There are a few possibilities... There is the negative one that he is cheating. And, then there is just the possibility that he merely wanted to spend some quality time with you without interruptions. Given your pregancy and the turmoil of relationship due to the sex issues and the card, the former is not that unsupported.
"Turns out that his friend DID call those two times about golf. So, the two calls are explained, but still have the card he got & lack of sex issue."
Without the phone calls, there is even less justification that your Scorp is cheating. Add to it that you previously jumped to negative conclusions and were proven wrong... Have you ever heard the concept that continually thinking that someone is cheating and continually accusing them of cheating is eventually going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I am going to continually be accused of something, there is a distinct probability that I am going to just do it. Atleast then I will deserve the accusations... Don't go looking for something unless you truly want to find it (and have you no problems finding out that it was your "looking" that instigated it).
What do you want from the card issue?!? He received it. He told you about it (and didn't hide it). He told you he didn't know who sent it. He told you he loved you and would not cheat on you. He told you that you have a child together and he would not cheat on you. He is STILL (after not having the sentiment returned) initiating affection with you. What do you want from him?!? Is it just the sex? That's it? He starts initiating again and everything is hunky-dory? As you said, it is not going to happen...
And, the sex issue?!?!?!? LOL! There are nearly 500 posts dedicated to that "issue"...
"Lately, I am always bringing this issue up with him, he never discusses anymore, it's as if it doesn't phase him that a month rolls by."
He is broken, so no it probably doesn't phase him and he would probably prefer not to think about it. Everytime you bring it up, you bring up the negative emotions associated with it and the fact that you refuse to initiate ANY form of physical affection with him. He is broken, and you broke him...
"What a turn-off. "
Hmmm... Well, atleast you have finally joined the party.
"Nothing different lately between he/I other than he receiving the card and the two phone calls. He's still affectionate (holds hands, hugs, kisses, calls)."
There are a few possibilities... There is the negative one that he is cheating. And, then there is just the possibility that he merely wanted to spend some quality time with you without interruptions. Given your pregancy and the turmoil of relationship due to the sex issues and the card, the former is not that unsupported.
"Turns out that his friend DID call those two times about golf. So, the two calls are explained, but still have the card he got & lack of sex issue."
Without the phone calls, there is even less justification that your Scorp is cheating. Add to it that you previously jumped to negative conclusions and were proven wrong... Have you ever heard the concept that continually thinking that someone is cheating and continually accusing them of cheating is eventually going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I am going to continually be accused of something, there is a distinct probability that I am going to just do it. Atleast then I will deserve the accusations... Don't go looking for something unless you truly want to find it (and have you no problems finding out that it was your "looking" that instigated it).
What do you want from the card issue?!? He received it. He told you about it (and didn't hide it). He told you he didn't know who sent it. He told you he loved you and would not cheat on you. He told you that you have a child together and he would not cheat on you. He is STILL (after not having the sentiment returned) initiating affection with you. What do you want from him?!? Is it just the sex? That's it? He starts initiating again and everything is hunky-dory? As you said, it is not going to happen...
And, the sex issue?!?!?!? LOL! There are nearly 500 posts dedicated to that "issue"...
"Lately, I am always bringing this issue up with him, he never discusses anymore, it's as if it doesn't phase him that a month rolls by."
He is broken, so no it probably doesn't phase him and he would probably prefer not to think about it. Everytime you bring it up, you bring up the negative emotions associated with it and the fact that you refuse to initiate ANY form of physical affection with him. He is broken, and you broke him...
"What a turn-off. "
Hmmm... Well, atleast you have finally joined the party.
"don't want to compromise"
Relationships are compromises, but most of all they are value assessments. You compare the "value" you place on the person that you are with to the "value" you place on the given idea / belief / concept / desire / need / etc. If you value the person that you are with more, then you attempt to compromise. And, if not, well then you have this type of problem... He compromised his needs your entire relationship because that is how much he valued you, and then he found out how much you valued him...
If you are not willing to compromise to see to his emotional needs, then why are you trying to stay in this relationship? Is it because you love him, or is it because you are having a child with him? You have asked this of your boyfriend, but have you asked it of yourself?
"That's the truth , but what's also true is that this won't get us anywhere."
It will certainly get you somewhere...
Relationships are compromises, but most of all they are value assessments. You compare the "value" you place on the person that you are with to the "value" you place on the given idea / belief / concept / desire / need / etc. If you value the person that you are with more, then you attempt to compromise. And, if not, well then you have this type of problem... He compromised his needs your entire relationship because that is how much he valued you, and then he found out how much you valued him...
If you are not willing to compromise to see to his emotional needs, then why are you trying to stay in this relationship? Is it because you love him, or is it because you are having a child with him? You have asked this of your boyfriend, but have you asked it of yourself?
"That's the truth , but what's also true is that this won't get us anywhere."
It will certainly get you somewhere...
"You know - professional counseling might be in order here - before it gets any worse."
That is an awesome suggestion...
That is an awesome suggestion...
"I haven't said anything more about the card to him, but neither has he. What the heck? The day it happened, he agreed that he understood why I would be thinking what I was thinking. How about some reassurance here? Did I mention I'm the size of a circus tent right now! Almost 7 months pregnant. So, here we are ignoring the HUGE issue that's hanging in the air. I'm having trouble ignoring an issue like this."
Umm your pissed at him for dodging the issue and just like with the sex you haven't done a damned thing to work it out either. Does he need to feed you and clothe you too. I mean, can you initiate anything?
"Yes, most people don't have issues initiating..I have done so in past relationships, but I was never with someone that was so bothered by the fact that I didn't initiate much. But with our situation so far gone, it's become so difficult. Here's my tantrum: I want my old scorpioman back, the way he used to be in the beginning."
Get over yourself, you haven't done anything to deserve your old scorp man back. The guy is giving you more than you deserve by sticking around.
"To answer an earlier question, yes, we hold hands and hug alot, usually initiated by him. He's usually at the door when I get home from work (he gets home before I do) and hugs/kisses me everyday. He asked me once to "throw him a bone"..well, I did. I clearly told him that I would not do most of the sexual initiating in the relationship -- I handle plenty of other areas of our relationship and I look out for him."
Anyone else seeing a pattern?
" I was attracted to him because he was the "I Love You" guy -- said it all the time and showed it, showed up at my work with flowers, initiated sex all the time and is very affectionate. "
Which basically means you found a guy you could manipulate into doing providing what you want without meeting him half way.
"There's no changing allowed darnit!! LOL."
I know you meant this as a joke, but sometimes there is truth in jest. I don't know what your problem is but you have a kid on the way and you need to wake the F up and start acting like an adult in a relationship. Right now your every mans worst fear, a head case they got pregnant. You need to own up to YOUR situation that YOU chose and start realizing that YOU ARE HALF OF THE PROBLEM. You recognize the problem but every time you get advice on it you then scew it into being his fault and then hoping everyone is dumb goes "See, I am just the victim here."
Umm your pissed at him for dodging the issue and just like with the sex you haven't done a damned thing to work it out either. Does he need to feed you and clothe you too. I mean, can you initiate anything?
"Yes, most people don't have issues initiating..I have done so in past relationships, but I was never with someone that was so bothered by the fact that I didn't initiate much. But with our situation so far gone, it's become so difficult. Here's my tantrum: I want my old scorpioman back, the way he used to be in the beginning."
Get over yourself, you haven't done anything to deserve your old scorp man back. The guy is giving you more than you deserve by sticking around.
"To answer an earlier question, yes, we hold hands and hug alot, usually initiated by him. He's usually at the door when I get home from work (he gets home before I do) and hugs/kisses me everyday. He asked me once to "throw him a bone"..well, I did. I clearly told him that I would not do most of the sexual initiating in the relationship -- I handle plenty of other areas of our relationship and I look out for him."
Anyone else seeing a pattern?
" I was attracted to him because he was the "I Love You" guy -- said it all the time and showed it, showed up at my work with flowers, initiated sex all the time and is very affectionate. "
Which basically means you found a guy you could manipulate into doing providing what you want without meeting him half way.
"There's no changing allowed darnit!! LOL."
I know you meant this as a joke, but sometimes there is truth in jest. I don't know what your problem is but you have a kid on the way and you need to wake the F up and start acting like an adult in a relationship. Right now your every mans worst fear, a head case they got pregnant. You need to own up to YOUR situation that YOU chose and start realizing that YOU ARE HALF OF THE PROBLEM. You recognize the problem but every time you get advice on it you then scew it into being his fault and then hoping everyone is dumb goes "See, I am just the victim here."
He may not turn back into your "Old scorp man" ever again. Based on what you have posted I can't blame him. But regardless of the why or who is at fault you need to realize something before your kid comes into the world and you F it up.
Your relationship has issues. You have issues. He may not fix these for you. If he doesn't who's going to?
You have to, nothing is ideal right now, especially to be bringing a kid into the world. Either step up and start fixing the things that are wrong in your life or prepare the rest of us for a kid who is going to inherit your victim/helplessnes/projectionist personality.
Your relationship has issues. You have issues. He may not fix these for you. If he doesn't who's going to?
You have to, nothing is ideal right now, especially to be bringing a kid into the world. Either step up and start fixing the things that are wrong in your life or prepare the rest of us for a kid who is going to inherit your victim/helplessnes/projectionist personality.
Alcheme,
In my world, everyone has to PROVE their trustworthy. Love doesn't always come with trust, they are 2 separate things. I know alot of men and most of them cheat so why should I trust my partner just because I love them? For example, I know a Virgo that loves his "soulmate" of 14 years yet cheats on her regularly with random big butt cuties on myspace. I know another guy who seems so trustworthy (Gemini), he's a great family man and won't leave his girlfriend of 10 years because he's afraid it would impact his children. So he stays with her and cheats on her occasionally. I have trusted others in the past and 95% of them let me down (friends, family, and ex-boyfriends). So hell ya I'll be checking the phone or snooping if I have suspicions, if they don't like it, they can take a hike because if they wanted to do the same, I'd let them.
In my world, everyone has to PROVE their trustworthy. Love doesn't always come with trust, they are 2 separate things. I know alot of men and most of them cheat so why should I trust my partner just because I love them? For example, I know a Virgo that loves his "soulmate" of 14 years yet cheats on her regularly with random big butt cuties on myspace. I know another guy who seems so trustworthy (Gemini), he's a great family man and won't leave his girlfriend of 10 years because he's afraid it would impact his children. So he stays with her and cheats on her occasionally. I have trusted others in the past and 95% of them let me down (friends, family, and ex-boyfriends). So hell ya I'll be checking the phone or snooping if I have suspicions, if they don't like it, they can take a hike because if they wanted to do the same, I'd let them.
CapAngel:
"In my world, everyone has to PROVE their trustworthy. Love doesn't always come with trust, they are 2 separate things. I know alot of men and most of them cheat so why should I trust my partner just because I love them?"
In my world, everyone has to prove they're trustworthy, too. And, yes, love and trust are two different things... But, I could not love a person that I could not trust. I could not RESPECT a person I could not trust. And, I sure as hell could not love a person I could not respect.
The same fact is true for my friends. I will not surround myself with people I cannot trust or respect... I have had many people betray me, but I will not hold people to be judged by the mistakes that OTHER people make. I judge them for who THEY are...
"So hell ya I'll be checking the phone or snooping if I have suspicions, if they don't like it, they can take a hike"
As I said, they would have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands. I wouldn't take a hike, it would be more like a full on sprint...
"In my world, everyone has to PROVE their trustworthy. Love doesn't always come with trust, they are 2 separate things. I know alot of men and most of them cheat so why should I trust my partner just because I love them?"
In my world, everyone has to prove they're trustworthy, too. And, yes, love and trust are two different things... But, I could not love a person that I could not trust. I could not RESPECT a person I could not trust. And, I sure as hell could not love a person I could not respect.
The same fact is true for my friends. I will not surround myself with people I cannot trust or respect... I have had many people betray me, but I will not hold people to be judged by the mistakes that OTHER people make. I judge them for who THEY are...
"So hell ya I'll be checking the phone or snooping if I have suspicions, if they don't like it, they can take a hike"
As I said, they would have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands. I wouldn't take a hike, it would be more like a full on sprint...
"there is no way in hell i would volunteer to show such a message to my partner unless i was absolutely innocent. it was a very unscorpionic thing to do if he was guilty in any way.......although i think it's quite unscorpionic anyway.....no-one touches my phone."
This is what I am thinking too. I would do the same thing, because the person I am with is my partner, would trust me and be just as confused about it as I am. I think he is walking on thin ice so much around her that he just wanted it to be over with. I don't like hiding things, especially stuff I didn't do. Honest people don't, and I think this is the situation with him.
Like when I go to a bar with friends and my girlfriend isn't with me and a girl starts hitting on me and it goes passed neutral flirtation I snuff it out right away. I also share the story with my girlfriend when I get home/call her to share the story. No jelousy stems from this because I handled the situation correctly. And the opposite is true for her. The point is if him doing the right and open thing gets him in the dog house then the guy has no room to have fun or be himself.
This is what I am thinking too. I would do the same thing, because the person I am with is my partner, would trust me and be just as confused about it as I am. I think he is walking on thin ice so much around her that he just wanted it to be over with. I don't like hiding things, especially stuff I didn't do. Honest people don't, and I think this is the situation with him.
Like when I go to a bar with friends and my girlfriend isn't with me and a girl starts hitting on me and it goes passed neutral flirtation I snuff it out right away. I also share the story with my girlfriend when I get home/call her to share the story. No jelousy stems from this because I handled the situation correctly. And the opposite is true for her. The point is if him doing the right and open thing gets him in the dog house then the guy has no room to have fun or be himself.
Ok, well, thanks for the input. I have told Scorpman how I feel, just as I have put it on this board. I'm not going to pretend I feel otherwise. If my feelings are childish then so be it. I realize that this is just a board posting and no one really knows the two of us..there's much more than just a few words on DXP. What I do know is that we both want a relationship without "snooping" -- never has been up my alley..don't like to be spied on and neither does he, no issue like this has come up until now, we also both want "intimacy" -- so, professional help may very well be in order. I will suggest this and see what comes.
"so, professional help may very well be in order. I will suggest this and see what comes."
I think that is a very good solution. Good luck!
I think that is a very good solution. Good luck!
And so goes the story of our happy ever after:
We're off to a see a "couples shrink". Scorpman says to my suggestion: "talking" with "no action" will also get us nowhere(is he a scorpio or what? LOL). Neither of us has ever been to a shrink.
He also said he's willing to go because he doesn't want to go on like this nor does he want to lose me, wants to try everything to make this work.
The good news: baby seems to be doing really well.
We're off to a see a "couples shrink". Scorpman says to my suggestion: "talking" with "no action" will also get us nowhere(is he a scorpio or what? LOL). Neither of us has ever been to a shrink.
He also said he's willing to go because he doesn't want to go on like this nor does he want to lose me, wants to try everything to make this work.
The good news: baby seems to be doing really well.
Went to the first shrink meeting with scorpman..I felt like Tony Soprano sitting in that chair..uncomfortable -- Maybe that's the point.
"Went to the first shrink meeting with scorpman..I felt like Tony Soprano sitting in that chair..uncomfortable -- Maybe that's the point."
Getting to the depths of the underlying issues is never a comfortable process, but a necessary and ultimately beneficial and worthwhile one, whether done on your own or with the help of someone else. Virgos are, according to the profiles, generally hard on themselves making the process more than likely as hard on them as most Scorps, but they are also resilient and perfectionists. Keep in mind that this hardship is helping you, your Scorpman, your relationship, and our baby, and I have no doubts you and your Scorpman will be able to utilize this opportunity to move forward together and get past your respective issues.
Just remember, everyone has issues (me, you, Scorpman, everyone). Feel comfortable in that and be honest (as you are on here), so that you two can best utilize the help to reach a workable solution that meets both your needs and desires. Good luck with it, and I hope it becomes easier and truly helps the two of you.
I hope the baby is doing well!
Getting to the depths of the underlying issues is never a comfortable process, but a necessary and ultimately beneficial and worthwhile one, whether done on your own or with the help of someone else. Virgos are, according to the profiles, generally hard on themselves making the process more than likely as hard on them as most Scorps, but they are also resilient and perfectionists. Keep in mind that this hardship is helping you, your Scorpman, your relationship, and our baby, and I have no doubts you and your Scorpman will be able to utilize this opportunity to move forward together and get past your respective issues.
Just remember, everyone has issues (me, you, Scorpman, everyone). Feel comfortable in that and be honest (as you are on here), so that you two can best utilize the help to reach a workable solution that meets both your needs and desires. Good luck with it, and I hope it becomes easier and truly helps the two of you.
I hope the baby is doing well!
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@69SilverNitrate69
Joined: Aug 03, 2006 · Topics: 34 · Posts: 149
http://www.paulsadowski.com:80/birthday.asp
@taurusgoddess
Joined: May 03, 2005 · Topics: 601 · Posts: 4058
So my Pisces and I decided to give it another shot. We had lunch on my birthday and apologized to one another. I reall
@lv24
Joined: Oct 19, 2006 · Topics: 16 · Posts: 174
ive been reaidng all these posts, and everyone says that their cancer man comes back saying how they love them, bla bla.
@Lil.ladie.taurus
Joined: Nov 27, 2006 · Topics: 80 · Posts: 785
I had a dream about seeing images of Jesus. Then lights. What was weird is that I freaked out and tried to wake myself
@SensualTaurus
Joined: Jul 23, 2006 · Topics: 31 · Posts: 230