real life calling

This topic was created in the Astrology forum by DwellingOnMove on Thursday, February 26, 2009 and has 31 replies.
this is specially a question for Earth girls with their practical intelligence.
what to do if
your Libra bf gives place to a Cancer friend
who comes back from the war
and needs time to adapt to the city life
and messes a little around in his appartment?
On one side we should understand that he is somewhat disturbed from disasters of the war.
On the other hand how long will this go on?
who says which day is the last day and when he should leave?
how to make it easy for the Cancer to leave once we 'v given him the feeling this is home, peaceful secure home?
how to make it easy for the Libra to say no like a "bad guy"?
Have you ever been in a similar situation?
how did you balance between "my needs" and "my brother's needs"?
thanks
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I should think that every person over 25 has dealt with supporting a person in some fashion, only to be taken advantage of .. perhaps, not an ex-military guy but somebody, at some point in time has worn out their welcome and it has to be handled without losing friendship.

Cancers are greedy muther fukers .... they will claim poverty to spend someone elses money, while having cash in their pockets, if you are willing to buy them something then they will pick out the most expensive item and not care about your financial situation ...... so, my suggestion would be to target this area.

Have the Libra charge the Cancer money for everything in the house ... rents, utilities, food .. once the Cancer has to actually pay for something of their own money ... then they leave willingly.
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Posted by P-Angel
every person over 25 has dealt with supporting a person in some fashion, only to be taken advantage of.


correct. this happens for example when you are studying abroad and a friend or sibling comes to study there too but they use your place as the starter platform. God knows when they intend to feel independent and let you alone.
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lol
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Is the Libra upset about it? If the libra isn't, then it is your problem not his.
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lilsparrow, how much Earth do you have in your birth chart?
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...tell me you are writing about my situation?
Because if you are in the same situation that is fucking creepy.
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Zip.
I am a hell of a lot of Libra though and that is why I doubt your bf (or the bf in question) will see a problem. I also know if you push the friend out before he is ready to fly, the Libra will look at you like sprung two heads. If the Libra isn't complaining, leave it be.
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Posted by GreatBull
"And always I thought it is cause he is rat in Chinese horoscope.
"
im a rat in chinese, but i don't ask for money from people, but i don't refused it if its from a trustworthy source.smile


Rats aren't actually considered to be greedy or anything like that unless they become negative and take on all their potential bad qualities. Although they are known to be hoarders of stuff supposedly.
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Ok I'm gonna update on the original posting.
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Posted by P-Angel

Cancers are greedy muther fukers .... they will claim poverty to spend someone elses money, while having cash in their pockets, if you are willing to buy them something then they will pick out the most expensive item and not care about your financial situation ...... so, my suggestion would be to target this area.


Ew! You're so right. He told my boyfriend this month he could only give him $ 100 because he had "some things he needed to get."
& before he had the job and had no money...we went to get takeout one night and he was with us, and he seriously ordered some shrimp dish which was like $ 20 - knowing he had no money - and was expecting me or my boyfriend to pay for it. (Which we had to at that point.) But if you knew someone was going to have to pay for you...and they're ordering $ 7-8 meals...why would you order a $ 20 meal?
WTF
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Posted by little_sparrow
Zip.
I am a hell of a lot of Libra though and that is why I doubt your bf (or the bf in question) will see a problem. I also know if you push the friend out before he is ready to fly, the Libra will look at you like sprung two heads. If the Libra isn't complaining, leave it be.



OH he's complaining. Constantly. He tells me he's "just gonna move out." WTF? It's his apartment...how about the kid moves out. He's a libra for crying out loud! He's supposed to be far more logical than that...
But he seems like torn about the situation. Because it's literally driving him nuts and he's developing quite an attitude about/with the kid at this point - but at the same time he feels responsible for him or something...
It's true: the kid's from another state - he has no family or friends here, he's immature, he's never lived on his own (he joined the military at 17,) he has no transportation, and no money. He has a job - but literally spends his entire paycheck before getting the next.
So I kind of get it. But if it's making you so unhappy, why not just tell him it's not working out and send him back to his mom? I mean, it's not like he hasn't told him what he's done wrong and hasn't given him another chance....
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He's a libra for crying out loud! He's supposed to be far more logical than that...


this has been discussed a few times on dxp. Libra's logic goes for abstract subjects. it is good for software programming for example. But Earth sign's logic is good for practical matters in life. somebody correct me if I misunderstood.
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You're probably right.
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No serious answers from the Earth girls. sad it is.
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Posted by WinterBorn
Posted by brianafay
WELL
last weekend he brought another girl over, whom he also met on fling.com.
There .....
Anyways, my solution: I stopped staying there after the first incident. I grabbed the few personal belongings I had there and left the situation. Infact, I really don't even go over there at all, unless I know for sure the he won't be there - and if he happens to stroll in while I'm there I leave very shortly after. I don't give him dirty looks or make comments - I pretend like he doesn't exist. But I do still have to hear about it ALL THE TIME. & If I respond - we get into an argument. So usually, I just say "I don't want to hear about it, you know how I feel and you know what the solution is."
& Lately he's been mad I don't stay there with him anymore. (Plus we haven't had sex in like 3 weeks, so there's alot of tension.) It's really doing a number on our relationship. So I'm just wondering how long he'll let this go on...


.....Until the Cancer wins.
Mr. Cancer man (aka selfish prick) can be pretty stubborn sometimes, and downright nasty if he's being pushed around on a personal level. You're going to have to make him want to leave.
Ok, now it looks to me like your Libra is going to sit on the fence because he doesn't know what the fuck to do. Or he knows...but just can't bring himself to do it.
Looks like its up to you. You're fire ain'tcha? Well go in there and burn the fucking place down.
Use drama. Loud, angry drama. Shouting and fingerpointing is recommended. Tell your Libra in front of the Cancer that it's either me or him bud....ME OR HIM. He goes or I go. One or the other, you cant have both.
Hopefully this will guilt trip the Cancerous Cancer into packing his shit up and leaving his own self...
Just a thought....
...it might work.
As a last resort.

smile



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Haha. I wish. I would feel 100% better if I could verbally assault this kid...even just a tiny bit. I would seriously take pleasure in it. It's sick - I'm scaring myself.
But I know if I did it in front of my boyfriend = big drama. He would tell me to leave and then he'd call me later to relentlessly bitch at me for hours about I can never just keep my mouth shut, and I cause him more problems than anyone else.
Not to mention, h
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Posted by deemnsout4ever
Phone the Cancer boys momma and tell her what he's up to.....whhppsshhhh !!!!


Haha. I'm thinking about paying her off to make him come home.
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So apparently he's noticed I have a problem with him.
I mean, what a brilliant observation...I haven't even looked in his direction in weeks and when he speaks to me I walk out of the room...he must be gifted.
Now he's stirring up a little drama in the typical cancer fashion. He must have whined to my boyfriend because today my boyfriend says..."you know, you can really stop acting like a child and atleast be cordial, he asked me why you don't like him anymore today..."
LOL. Me? Be cordial? That's basically telling me to be fake. Not going to happen ever. I couldn't help but laugh at him. It's kind of cute...him trying to play mediator and all.

So, anyways. What do you guys think...
How about I try to get the kid alone when my boyfriend's not around and tell him I'm on to him, I think he's disgusting, childish, and a waste of life -- and just tell him it would make it easier for both of us and less embarrassing for him, especially, if he just didn't aknowledge me at all until my boyfriend boots him out on his ass?
Right?
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*sigh* I'm sorry B. Sucks big time. Listen... I know that your Libra feels close to this guy due to them being deployed together (trust me I KNOW all about that) but maybe you should step back and look at how your BF is NOT handling the situation. He complains yet he does nothing to confront him or lay down the law (typical Libra) and you've made it no secret that you are distressed... yet your BF does nothing still? You are in a bind because it's not techniacally your place but your BF really needs step up and grow a pair OR (if I were you) I'd tell him that you don't want to hear him bitch since he obviously isn't doing anything about it. Do you think this could be a problem with him not standing up FOR YOU in the future in your relationship? Is that ok with you? I ask because my Dad is a Libra and he let his parents attack my mother over and over without stepping in and telling them to back off.He'd just shrug his shoulders and tell my mom that "they're my parents I can't talk back to them". He did this at 45 years old.It seems to be a Libra pattern.
I know you being a fiesty fire sign you can handle your own but in a relationship shouldn't you defend your signifigant other at all cost? At least try to stand up for them? I guess that may be something to think about.
Maybe you should sit your BF down and tell him "hey, this could get really bad because *I* don't want to even come over because of this guy and YOU are even fed up with it. *I* can't say anything because YOU get mad if I do. So WTF dude? Somethings gotta give and I'd really hate for it to be me and that's what it's coming to".
Your guy needs to set Cancer down and kindly let him know "the rules" and you have every right to tell your Libra that without fear of reprocussions. It's your life too girl smile
He put your dog out for some fling.com girl?!?! I'd have had his hide nailed to the damn wall for that one.
Caliing his mom seriously isn't out of the question. I'd use it as a last resort. LOL
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^ Good point about Libras.
In the situation with his brother I finally had enough and told him myself. He called me a C-U-Next-Tuesday...and I kind of smacked him in the head. BUT I wouldn't have had to do anything if my boyfriend would have stuck up for me and told his brother to shut up and get out the first time he disrespected me.
I am noticing a pattern. He always feels the need to do the oposite of whatever I'm doing.
(Maybe he's trying to create "balance" as they say they do.) If I'm mad - he has to be calm and tell me I'm over-reacting and I have no reason to me mad. & if I brush something off as not being a big deal and don't waste my energy getting mad over it (like someone cutting me in line or someone not giving me a discount that I deserved) he will flip shit and tell me I need a backbone. It's so confusing.
I'm a Leo moon. I'm all about loyalty. I really can't stick with someone who doesn't have my back. I always have his back.

Idk, good advice, though. Made me think. Thanks. smile


& WB, they're fucking slimy - it's official.
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ok, tihs isn't about what i clicked on but i need to know something quickly!!!!!
im in year 6 (primary school) and soon i get to find out what high school im going to, i can't wait and im wetting myself coz im so nevours. how can i take it off my mind?
ollie Big Grin
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^ Lol. I was going to say the exact same thing. But I refrained. You're way cooler than me. smile
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Haha. smile
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I'd tell him that you don't want to hear him cookiemonster since he obviously isn't doing anything about it. Do you think this could be a problem with him not standing up FOR YOU in the future in your relationship? Is that ok with you? I ask because my Dad is a Libra and he let his parents attack my mother over and over without stepping in and telling them to back off.He'd just shrug his shoulders and tell my mom that "they're my parents I can't talk back to them". He did this at 45 years old.It seems to be a Libra pattern.
Good point Gingerscorp but it's not just a "Librian" thing, my ex is a "Sag" and always shut up when there was a dispute between ANY of his family or friends and I and there were a few through the years. i eventually realised that I was on my own and that hurt more than anything that your partner didnt back you when it was clearly stated behind closed doors that he was of the same opinion as you! Bloods thicker than water as they say.. A cutting remark his mother used!
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The kids 9 or 10!!
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"In the situation with his brother I finally had enough and told him myself. He called me a C-U-Next-Tuesday...and I kind of smacked him in the head. BUT I wouldn't have had to do anything if my boyfriend would have stuck up for me and told his brother to shut up and get out the first time he disrespected me."
WHAT?!?! Man, that would have done it for me. Especially if BF didn't stand up to him.
"I'm all about loyalty. I really can't stick with someone who doesn't have my back. I always have his back."
I know what you mean. I'm like this too. I would consider his sitting back and not coming to your defense out right treason. I'm a tough little cookie. I'm all spit fire and brimstone and I can take care of myself but my man better at least offer to remove someone's testicles for disrespecting me because I'd do the same for him. I've gone into situations KNOWING I was probably going to get my ass kicked but still went full throttle into it defending someone I care for. I expect a little loyalty in return. I don't think it's too much to ask.
I hope your guy comes around and man's up. Brother or not that guy should not be calling you a c u n t and your guy shouldn't have let it get that far.
Sweethearts... Maybe it isn't just a Libra thing but maybe because you all are proned to avoid conflict is where I got that from. It sucks reguardless. I'm kinda traditional in the sense that men are protectors and it's outragous to me that a man would let someone talk smack to his woman. I'm really glad I don't have that problem with my Aries fella smile
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Posted by WinterBorn
Have you talked to your boyfriend today? lol I'm kinda annoyed he's sticking up for the slimball cancer grrr



The cancer was away this weekend (another chick from one of the dating sites came and picked him up.) So it was pretty peaceful. Thankgod. I don't let him bitch about it to me anymore, anyways. I just tell him there is a very easy solution and he's choosing to ignore it - so obviously it can't bother him that much. I don't want to hear about it...
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Posted by brianafay
Posted by WinterBorn
Posted by brianafay
WELL
last weekend he brought another girl over, whom he also met on fling.com.
There .....
Anyways, my solution: I stopped staying there after the first incident. I grabbed the few personal belongings I had there and left the situation. Infact, I really don't even go over there at all, unless I know for sure the he won't be there - and if he happens to stroll in while I'm there I leave very shortly after. I don't give him dirty looks or make comments - I pretend like he doesn't exist. But I do still have to hear about it ALL THE TIME. & If I respond - we get into an argument. So usually, I just say "I don't want to hear about it, you know how I feel and you know what the solution is."
& Lately he's been mad I don't stay there with him anymore. (Plus we haven't had sex in like 3 weeks, so there's alot of tension.) It's really doing a number on our relationship. So I'm just wondering how long he'll let this go on...







Haha. I wish. I would feel 100% better if I could verbally assault this kid...even just a tiny bit. I would seriously take pleasure in it. It's sick - I'm scaring myself.
But I know if I did it in front of my boyfriend = big drama. He would tell me to leave and then he'd call me later to relentlessly bitch at me for hours about I can never just keep my mouth shut, and I cause him more problems than anyone else.
Not to mention, h
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It sounds to me like you have an issue with getting along with people in his life ... his brother, this kid .. both Cancers, coincidently? Or, is it the same person and this is why you are fed up with Libra boyfriend giving Cancer boy attention?
It appears to me that you think this Libra man is suppose to change how he views and treats his own brother, at your bidding ... and since you've decided to detest his brother, then this means Libra man is suppose to treat his own brother accordingly.
Instead, Libra would make you leave, to phone you later, and put you in your place.
Sounds to me that you have a jealousy problem .... if your Libra man has other people in his life, like his brother for example, then you cause scenes to create tension.
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Funny how you only had that opinion once you knew this thread was about me.
Get over it already. It's so pathetic.
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My boyfriend has another roommate whom I do not have a problem with...whom he actually spends more time with. So if I was just jealous wouldn't I be causing problems with him too?
I didn't feel like giving the whole background story to what happened with his brother but since you will make stupid fucking assumptions (which is all you do because you're a pathetic old hag and this is seriously the only life you have) I will go ahead and give it now, as if it's even necesary to explain myself to you. But since you called me out...
My boyfriend's brother moved here to live with their father while my boyfriend was in Iraq. By the time my boyfriend came home their father was kicking his brother out after him doing various stupid shit (like driving drunk, losing his job, etc.) So of course my boyfriend took him in. His brother is very immature and irresponsible and has no respect for anyone. He broke things in my boyfriend's house and thought it was funny, wrecked his jetski, got his car stolen and wrecked and then took my boyfriend's car without permission, drove it drunk, crashed it, and then left it somewhere (which he could not remember where because he was so fucked up.) ETC. & after all this he was sitting on my boyfriends couch one night after we brought some friends over and was talking shit about my boyfriend to them right in front of us. So my boyfriend tells him to the shut the fuck up and goes to leave his own house because of this and I said something to his brother about the situation. So, being the douchebag his brother is, he got in MY face talking shit and acting as if he was going to put his hands on me and my boyfriend expected me to be the "bigger person" and leave. Well that didn't happen. & I was very upset my boyfriend didn't make his brother leave.
It's not about jealousy. It's about the fact that I cannnot stand injustice. I hate scummy people who leech off of others and I have a hard time not expressing that.
Also, I never made a scene. In the situation with his brother, he got in my face and made a scene. And in the case of the cancer I haven't even spoken to him. The only time I even get to bitch about it is here.
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Don't bother replying, either. Seriously. I don't care to hear any more of your pretentious bullshit.

K.Thanks.Bye. smile
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