Virgo friends issues...
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by RedSparowe on Thursday, December 7, 2006 and has 15 replies.
My virgo friends, both male and female, seem to be overly analytical about everything... I know it's in their nature, but sometimes they overlook a lot of things.
Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to robots. Does anyone have any suggestions that might help me cool their analytical thought processes...?
Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to robots. Does anyone have any suggestions that might help me cool their analytical thought processes...?
Yeah..
Don't be pathetic and naive.... Virgos love and respect those people that can STAND FOR THEMSELVES in any given situations?!
Lol
Don't be pathetic and naive.... Virgos love and respect those people that can STAND FOR THEMSELVES in any given situations?!
Lol
You are Cancerian which means you are moody? flip/flap, up and down at least 4 times a day +/-365 days a year!
Virgos have high tolerance level about these stuff, but hey.. Don't get use to their flexibilities, everything has its own limits?as they say.. bend it but don't break it? right..??
Virgos have high tolerance level about these stuff, but hey.. Don't get use to their flexibilities, everything has its own limits?as they say.. bend it but don't break it? right..??
"Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to robots. Does anyone have any suggestions that might help me cool their analytical thought processes...?"
RedSparrowe,
No, there is no changing another person . . only yourself.
This is them, maybe they seems robotic to you, and sometimes, they seem that way to me, too . . but, this is who they are . . this is how they process.
The only thing you can do, is change yourself. One thing you can do to change yourself that would allow you to have better conversations with your Virgo friends is . .
Don't take it personally. Being critical of you, to them, they are viewing it objectively, they are taking it away from YOU personally and analyzing it for what it is as a whole. It's just because YOU did something, or said something that made them think about it . . they aren't meaning YOU specifically. And that is the problem most people have with Virgo's . . they take things personally, when it wasn't intended that way.
Look at it like this . . . when one of them says something to you that seems over-critical, do they change in how they feel about you as a friend? No, or they would no longer be your friend, right? IF they really felt that way, wouldn't they stop being your friend? So, you have to realize that when a Virgo is debating a topic, or making some kind of an assessment . .
they are speaking about this particular thing as an object, not YOU.
RedSparrowe,
No, there is no changing another person . . only yourself.
This is them, maybe they seems robotic to you, and sometimes, they seem that way to me, too . . but, this is who they are . . this is how they process.
The only thing you can do, is change yourself. One thing you can do to change yourself that would allow you to have better conversations with your Virgo friends is . .
Don't take it personally. Being critical of you, to them, they are viewing it objectively, they are taking it away from YOU personally and analyzing it for what it is as a whole. It's just because YOU did something, or said something that made them think about it . . they aren't meaning YOU specifically. And that is the problem most people have with Virgo's . . they take things personally, when it wasn't intended that way.
Look at it like this . . . when one of them says something to you that seems over-critical, do they change in how they feel about you as a friend? No, or they would no longer be your friend, right? IF they really felt that way, wouldn't they stop being your friend? So, you have to realize that when a Virgo is debating a topic, or making some kind of an assessment . .
they are speaking about this particular thing as an object, not YOU.
P-Angel,
My friends aren't being critical of me in any way... and that's not really my concern.
I do understand that it's natural for them to be analytical all of the time, but sometimes it's more than others, and when it is, it really is to an extreme that affects them negatively, mostly with how they see the world. I want to help my friends calm down when they're like this. I don't like seeing them get overworked and stressed so much.
My friends aren't being critical of me in any way... and that's not really my concern.
I do understand that it's natural for them to be analytical all of the time, but sometimes it's more than others, and when it is, it really is to an extreme that affects them negatively, mostly with how they see the world. I want to help my friends calm down when they're like this. I don't like seeing them get overworked and stressed so much.
"My friends aren't being critical of me in any way... and that's not really my concern."
This is said, but, not meant . . for it were true, then you wouldn't then say, "I want to help my friends calm down when they're like this", which obviously relays concern.
What one says isn't necessarily how they feel.
How one views themselve isn't necessarily how others view them.
"I don't like seeing them get overworked and stressed so much."
lol, then you're gonna not be likeing all the time. You're first mistake in believing that it's up to YOU to fix the Virgo . . with that approach, you will fail at grasping them. Here's an example from your other thread about the C/V match . . this is intrusive to them . . they don't want or need YOU, or anybody to fix them, if they are overstressed and worked up, that's their problem . . that is how they view it.
Did you listen to the response from the male Virgo named Q-bone? He said, "Don't be pathetic and naive.... Virgos love and respect those people that can STAND FOR THEMSELVES in any given situations?!"
Did you comprehend what he's trying to say? The same thing I just told you. Stand on your own two feet, means for everybody, including them. To think that it's up to YOU to decide that they need to calm down . . is intrusive and over-bearing, from their perspective.
You want to understand the Virgo, listen to them in their responses for what they are saying, for they are pure . . they tell you what they mean, and they mean what they say.
This is said, but, not meant . . for it were true, then you wouldn't then say, "I want to help my friends calm down when they're like this", which obviously relays concern.
What one says isn't necessarily how they feel.
How one views themselve isn't necessarily how others view them.
"I don't like seeing them get overworked and stressed so much."
lol, then you're gonna not be likeing all the time. You're first mistake in believing that it's up to YOU to fix the Virgo . . with that approach, you will fail at grasping them. Here's an example from your other thread about the C/V match . . this is intrusive to them . . they don't want or need YOU, or anybody to fix them, if they are overstressed and worked up, that's their problem . . that is how they view it.
Did you listen to the response from the male Virgo named Q-bone? He said, "Don't be pathetic and naive.... Virgos love and respect those people that can STAND FOR THEMSELVES in any given situations?!"
Did you comprehend what he's trying to say? The same thing I just told you. Stand on your own two feet, means for everybody, including them. To think that it's up to YOU to decide that they need to calm down . . is intrusive and over-bearing, from their perspective.
You want to understand the Virgo, listen to them in their responses for what they are saying, for they are pure . . they tell you what they mean, and they mean what they say.
P-Angel,
They're not critical in my direction. That's why I said,"My friends aren't being critical of me in any way... and that's not really my concern."
I know how I feel, and I'm not angry at them, or frustrated with them or anything like that. I'm not concerned about the being over-critical because it's affecting me in any way, because I'm indifferent to that sort of thing because I know that they just look at things objectively, and I myself, do the same thing.
Just simply wanted some advice to see if I could help, not a bunch of assumptions about my feelings and whatnot, obviously fueled by some kind of bias developed toward people with the Cancer sign. But, I've realized, now, that that is somewhere I'm not going to go, or try to go, anymore, because, yes, Virgos are simply analytical and do not like their emotions being touched.
I've showed who I am to my friends who are Virgos, and I have stood on my own two feet... but, sometimes, when I am trying to understand someone's perspective, I have to look at things objectively.
Pathetic and naive... what a great way to try to get someone to listen to you.
They're not critical in my direction. That's why I said,"My friends aren't being critical of me in any way... and that's not really my concern."
I know how I feel, and I'm not angry at them, or frustrated with them or anything like that. I'm not concerned about the being over-critical because it's affecting me in any way, because I'm indifferent to that sort of thing because I know that they just look at things objectively, and I myself, do the same thing.
Just simply wanted some advice to see if I could help, not a bunch of assumptions about my feelings and whatnot, obviously fueled by some kind of bias developed toward people with the Cancer sign. But, I've realized, now, that that is somewhere I'm not going to go, or try to go, anymore, because, yes, Virgos are simply analytical and do not like their emotions being touched.
I've showed who I am to my friends who are Virgos, and I have stood on my own two feet... but, sometimes, when I am trying to understand someone's perspective, I have to look at things objectively.
Pathetic and naive... what a great way to try to get someone to listen to you.
Still, you are looking at this like it's YOU, and not an object. That is what Q-bone meant. The pathetic and naive part wasn't YOU . . it was the object of the action.
"not a bunch of assumptions about my feelings and whatnot, obviously fueled by some kind of bias developed toward people with the Cancer sign."
See, your emotional response takes over, thinking that it's personal. Once you can rip this away, your communication with the Virgo will be a lot easier. You'll then understand that in reality - they don't need help - you do, I do, everybody other than them, because that is what they are.
My words in here, to you, have nothing to do with YOU, rather, the theory of relating to the Virgo. You're not understanding that.
"Just simply wanted some advice to see if I could help"
Again, I will say: You can't help them to cope. Whatever it is you're concerned about, whether it's the worrying, the stressing, the negativity, EVERYTHING . . the Virgo HAS to do these things, they HAVE to find their own answers and their own internal peace . . . because this is who they are.
To fuss over them, or show concern to them for being "worried" about something . . will push them away, because they have to fret and stress, it's apart of their internal engines that keep them sane. To express this concern too much, seems over-bearing, smothering and intrusive.
Again, I'm talking about this as an object . . not a person who's Cancer, named RedSparrowe.
You wanted some insight, that's what I have to offer. Suggestions on how to understand the Virgo in regards to assisting them with their troubles and I've done that. How you percieve my words, is up to you. You can hear them for thier meaning (objectively), or, you can take it personally (sujectively), and let it hurt you.
"not a bunch of assumptions about my feelings and whatnot, obviously fueled by some kind of bias developed toward people with the Cancer sign."
See, your emotional response takes over, thinking that it's personal. Once you can rip this away, your communication with the Virgo will be a lot easier. You'll then understand that in reality - they don't need help - you do, I do, everybody other than them, because that is what they are.
My words in here, to you, have nothing to do with YOU, rather, the theory of relating to the Virgo. You're not understanding that.
"Just simply wanted some advice to see if I could help"
Again, I will say: You can't help them to cope. Whatever it is you're concerned about, whether it's the worrying, the stressing, the negativity, EVERYTHING . . the Virgo HAS to do these things, they HAVE to find their own answers and their own internal peace . . . because this is who they are.
To fuss over them, or show concern to them for being "worried" about something . . will push them away, because they have to fret and stress, it's apart of their internal engines that keep them sane. To express this concern too much, seems over-bearing, smothering and intrusive.
Again, I'm talking about this as an object . . not a person who's Cancer, named RedSparrowe.
You wanted some insight, that's what I have to offer. Suggestions on how to understand the Virgo in regards to assisting them with their troubles and I've done that. How you percieve my words, is up to you. You can hear them for thier meaning (objectively), or, you can take it personally (sujectively), and let it hurt you.
P-Angel,
I did get a little frustrated, but I wasn't taking anything YOU said personally. I was simply trying to stress the fact that the advice YOU were giving wasn't necessarily about what I was having concern about.
You were making assumptions, and this frustrated me also. And implying that I'm pathetic and naive because I ask for some advice is pretty rude, and I can't help but perceive that as someone attacking me. I didn't feel that you were attacking me, but I did get that feeling from Qbone. If I feel attacked, I will react.
I did get a little frustrated, but I wasn't taking anything YOU said personally. I was simply trying to stress the fact that the advice YOU were giving wasn't necessarily about what I was having concern about.
You were making assumptions, and this frustrated me also. And implying that I'm pathetic and naive because I ask for some advice is pretty rude, and I can't help but perceive that as someone attacking me. I didn't feel that you were attacking me, but I did get that feeling from Qbone. If I feel attacked, I will react.
RedSparrowe,
That was an example of being concerned about your friends, not the item itself being "critical of you". My point was, to say you're not concerned about somebody, and then say, you want to help your friends, are referencing two different issues, however the same principal. The example was used for the sole purpose of relaying the concept of the word, "concern".
Second, to make an assumption of how one FEELS would be illogical. If it appeared as though I was making an assumption about YOU, then that is because you choose to own it as such, when in reality, I was explaining WHY the Virgo cannot be helped with their inner workings and how they process.
I understand your concerns: They are as such: 1) you want to know if anybody has suggestions on how to cool Virgo's analytical thought processes, 2) that being analytical affects them negatively, mostly with how they see the world, 3) you want them to calm down, and, 4) you don't like seeing them get overworked and stressed so much.
Let me approach this from another angle . . imagine if you weren't allowed to crawl inside your shell to hide, or recover, or think, or whatever the reason is that you need to withdraw? You can't. Being a crab, you have to have your place for solitude.
Me, being a Pisces, if someone told me that living simultaneously between the real and the surreal was something that needed some assistance because they are worried about me . . I would consider them clinically insane . . because I am a fish, that is me. To live solely in reality means my death.
What if the Gemini was told that they could only have ONE friend, and no others? They HAVE to HAVE multitudes of people in their life to survive because that is who they are.
My point is that, the Virgo being worked up over something, their excessive analytical thought processes . . is their natural state in which they NEED to survive. I'm very understanding of the fact that you feel a need to aid them, or assist them, or find some avenue to cool this, and calm this down inside of them and what I'm telling you is that this is only YOUR need . . not theirs. The Virgo will stress until he drops dead because this is his safety zone, within his comtemplations and his constant analyzing, he is comfortable, he is content, he finds strength.
You are wanting to fix something in them that you think is broken, but, it's not broken. They don't WANT you to fix them. You want YOU to fix them.
That was an example of being concerned about your friends, not the item itself being "critical of you". My point was, to say you're not concerned about somebody, and then say, you want to help your friends, are referencing two different issues, however the same principal. The example was used for the sole purpose of relaying the concept of the word, "concern".
Second, to make an assumption of how one FEELS would be illogical. If it appeared as though I was making an assumption about YOU, then that is because you choose to own it as such, when in reality, I was explaining WHY the Virgo cannot be helped with their inner workings and how they process.
I understand your concerns: They are as such: 1) you want to know if anybody has suggestions on how to cool Virgo's analytical thought processes, 2) that being analytical affects them negatively, mostly with how they see the world, 3) you want them to calm down, and, 4) you don't like seeing them get overworked and stressed so much.
Let me approach this from another angle . . imagine if you weren't allowed to crawl inside your shell to hide, or recover, or think, or whatever the reason is that you need to withdraw? You can't. Being a crab, you have to have your place for solitude.
Me, being a Pisces, if someone told me that living simultaneously between the real and the surreal was something that needed some assistance because they are worried about me . . I would consider them clinically insane . . because I am a fish, that is me. To live solely in reality means my death.
What if the Gemini was told that they could only have ONE friend, and no others? They HAVE to HAVE multitudes of people in their life to survive because that is who they are.
My point is that, the Virgo being worked up over something, their excessive analytical thought processes . . is their natural state in which they NEED to survive. I'm very understanding of the fact that you feel a need to aid them, or assist them, or find some avenue to cool this, and calm this down inside of them and what I'm telling you is that this is only YOUR need . . not theirs. The Virgo will stress until he drops dead because this is his safety zone, within his comtemplations and his constant analyzing, he is comfortable, he is content, he finds strength.
You are wanting to fix something in them that you think is broken, but, it's not broken. They don't WANT you to fix them. You want YOU to fix them.
You were making assumptions, and this frustrated me also. And implying that I'm pathetic and naive because I ask for some advice is pretty rude, and I can't help but perceive that as someone attacking me. I didn't feel that you were attacking me, but I did get that feeling from Qbone. If I feel attacked, I will react.
of course you do..!!
People will always react when someone pushing they're most vulnerable point...! and I hit the point..!!
Listen I don't know you and I don't want to know you? but the reality is.. you've asked for the advice and I gave it to you in most honest way..!
Or else.. no hard feelings..!
of course you do..!!
People will always react when someone pushing they're most vulnerable point...! and I hit the point..!!
Listen I don't know you and I don't want to know you? but the reality is.. you've asked for the advice and I gave it to you in most honest way..!
Or else.. no hard feelings..!
I am Virgo?
My suggestions will be? if you don't understand for what I said.. then leave the Virgo world and aim for some other signs..
I'll hope and wish that you get a happier life?!!
My suggestions will be? if you don't understand for what I said.. then leave the Virgo world and aim for some other signs..
I'll hope and wish that you get a happier life?!!
The truth is?
No matter how honest other sings are or how hard they try? you as Cancerian will always be suspicious..!!
Cancerins trust is issue.. not the friendship other signs..!
Once you get knock out of your orbit, you'll be suspicious to what ever it comes near you..!!
Its general for all water signs..!
Then again you want to make a drama out of nothing. .you know what..?? I believe that all water signs loves depression (secretly), no matter how jovial your partners are.. you'll still able to find that stupid corner and will cry for yourself?
If you want to be successful as Cancerian.. you'll need to let go of that old stupid closets? old collections of ghosts and so on?!
When you've manage that.. Then start criticizing VIRGOS?! Or at least make a question about them that make sense..!!
No matter how honest other sings are or how hard they try? you as Cancerian will always be suspicious..!!
Cancerins trust is issue.. not the friendship other signs..!
Once you get knock out of your orbit, you'll be suspicious to what ever it comes near you..!!
Its general for all water signs..!
Then again you want to make a drama out of nothing. .you know what..?? I believe that all water signs loves depression (secretly), no matter how jovial your partners are.. you'll still able to find that stupid corner and will cry for yourself?
If you want to be successful as Cancerian.. you'll need to let go of that old stupid closets? old collections of ghosts and so on?!
When you've manage that.. Then start criticizing VIRGOS?! Or at least make a question about them that make sense..!!
You've never tried to understand them? but when it comes to you and your expectations, suddenly your feelings and emotions get in the way and you will become that important person? and start judging others.
What about the other people feelings..?? Ever think of it..??
You don't care? you are important..!!
Lazy as cancerians and their love of comfort..!!... But will you ever think about that comfort you are seeking for comes at a price, while you are not the one who is willing to pay the price because you can't afford it..? Then you are expecting that everyone else will acknowledging you and will responding to you according to your likings?!
How arrogant?!
Cling to somebody else's (feeling accounts)?! Or perhaps material accounts.. who knows!
Be generous?.! Both spiritually and perhaps materially?! Stop being SELFISH and think about how about me..!!
Get out of that stupid shell and be more open and generous. (In standard way) and not in (your way)..!
At least when it involved the Virgos..!
What about the other people feelings..?? Ever think of it..??
You don't care? you are important..!!
Lazy as cancerians and their love of comfort..!!... But will you ever think about that comfort you are seeking for comes at a price, while you are not the one who is willing to pay the price because you can't afford it..? Then you are expecting that everyone else will acknowledging you and will responding to you according to your likings?!
How arrogant?!
Cling to somebody else's (feeling accounts)?! Or perhaps material accounts.. who knows!
Be generous?.! Both spiritually and perhaps materially?! Stop being SELFISH and think about how about me..!!
Get out of that stupid shell and be more open and generous. (In standard way) and not in (your way)..!
At least when it involved the Virgos..!
"At least when it involved the Virgos..!"
read it as..
"At least when the Virgos are involved"
read it as..
"At least when the Virgos are involved"
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