how long does it take to get a virgirl there
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by cancerious20 on Thursday, April 25, 2013 and has 50 replies.
Recent post I have explained this situation between me and this virgirl. I have disappointed her a lot and been inconsistent in the past due to traveling the world. I'm home now and the past 3 weeks been nothing short of amazing.
It's very obvious how we feel about each other in person and while communicating. She said today that she loves what we got going on and that she is dropping all the other guys she talks to like flies. Says things are going well and headed in the right direction. That I'm one of her best friends and its way more comfortable than usual. She says she doesn't wanna put all her eggs in one basket yet. Has no expectations. Still doesn't know a lot. etc etc. I know its only been 3 weeks and it's still gonna take awhile till things are possibly official. Just wondering what this process is like and how long it usually takes.
I asked her about why she has expectations bc clearly she has some. She said she tends to have very high expectations at the beginning and then always gets disappointed and that she is finally just trying to roll with it and that it helps I keep affirming her. I said things are gonna be fine. She said "you might not like me once you get to know me more tho." I had to say plz stop bc this is prol the 3rd time she has said this. I said "you just said we were best friends a min ago, we have 5 years of history. You know me well enough that I wouldn't let you get close to me if I didn't think the world of you and you should at least start to be getting this" she said ya i am. I don't have expectations, I'm really just going with things, but I'm very comfortable with how she feels about me bc I can just tell that she is nuts about me and maybe she doesn't quite know that yet about me?? Still just wondering what the process is like. thanks
It's very obvious how we feel about each other in person and while communicating. She said today that she loves what we got going on and that she is dropping all the other guys she talks to like flies. Says things are going well and headed in the right direction. That I'm one of her best friends and its way more comfortable than usual. She says she doesn't wanna put all her eggs in one basket yet. Has no expectations. Still doesn't know a lot. etc etc. I know its only been 3 weeks and it's still gonna take awhile till things are possibly official. Just wondering what this process is like and how long it usually takes.
I asked her about why she has expectations bc clearly she has some. She said she tends to have very high expectations at the beginning and then always gets disappointed and that she is finally just trying to roll with it and that it helps I keep affirming her. I said things are gonna be fine. She said "you might not like me once you get to know me more tho." I had to say plz stop bc this is prol the 3rd time she has said this. I said "you just said we were best friends a min ago, we have 5 years of history. You know me well enough that I wouldn't let you get close to me if I didn't think the world of you and you should at least start to be getting this" she said ya i am. I don't have expectations, I'm really just going with things, but I'm very comfortable with how she feels about me bc I can just tell that she is nuts about me and maybe she doesn't quite know that yet about me?? Still just wondering what the process is like. thanks
Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Saw the title and thought "Takes me about 7 or 8 minutes to mine there".
Then I actually read the post and realized I was thinking something different.
Hahaha I was thinking the same thing. I was gonna be like ..well hmm depends. Are you good with your penis? Then probably not that long lol
Cancer guy....umm really depends on different factors. I can't give you an exact moment when "we" are at that point...but seems like she is getting there.
I will tell you this though...she is watching your consistency. And I think that's the main thing...once she can see that you truly are going to be (longer than 3 weeks) then things might move along faster. She basically telling you that in a round about way. Just be yourself and go with the flow and let the relationship take its course
. Posted by LostinmyMind11Posted by Scorpiorabbit
Saw the title and thought "Takes me about 7 or 8 minutes to mine there".
Then I actually read the post and realized I was thinking something different.
Hahaha I was thinking the same thing. I was gonna be like ..well hmm depends. Are you good with your penis? Then probably not that long lol
Cancer guy....umm really depends on different factors. I can't give you an exact moment when "we" are at that point...but seems like she is getting there.
I will tell you this though...she is watching your consistency. And I think that's the main thing...once she can see that you truly are going to be (longer than 3 weeks) then things might move along faster. She basically telling you that in a round about way. Just be yourself and go with the flow and let the relationship take its courseclick to expand
Sorry about your name...I'm on my phone and if I switch between deals I lose what I wrote ...and Idk know why I'm telling you all this ...so anyway *cancerious20
^^ What he said. If you can get me there in roughly 7to8 minutes, the process will be extensively narrowed.
Posted by Scorpiorabbit
I can get you there in about 3 minutes...**adjusts goggles and takes a deep breath**
Well well well....Somebody's full of themselves :p
@Cancerious20 That's great she's comfortable with you. I felt comfortable with my crab instantly. Just like your Virgirl, I dropped guys like they were nothing lol. I just kept falling for my him hard. You affirming her all the time is going to help you win her over. I would ask my cancer questions about how he feels about me sometimes. He always looks totally surprised like I should already know how he felt! It's just I like hearing him say it lol. In a way I'm thinking "you can't be this perfect for me" lol. Plus, I like knowing that I'm not the ONLY one falling hard. It's a great feeling to know he's just as crazy in love too.
It took less than 2 months to be official. First weeks of dating I was developing trust. I had to know he liked me for ME.
It took less than 2 months to be official. First weeks of dating I was developing trust. I had to know he liked me for ME.
...and you know her for 5 years O_o
I definitely agree with LIMM - definitely show her consistency and if you feel like you need space or feel like you may not be doing enough - pause and reevaluate because if you disappoint her again, especially after shes dropped all her other guys - it will cause damage you cant repair.
Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by Scorpiorabbit
I can get you there in about 3 minutes...**adjusts goggles and takes a deep breath**
Well well well....Somebody's full of themselves :p
It'll be the best 3 and a half minutes of your life once you factor in the 30 seconds its going to take me...,click to expand
Well then Ill get done in 15 secs and you wont get off...then ill get up go make me a sandwich...come back and eat right in front of you!
ty for the responses so far....i enjoy your responses Rapunzel, you seem very spot on about things. I was just curious as to what is going on in her head. I really am shocked when she is still surprised that I say the things I say like I don't care about her as I say. It's kinda funny, but I keep affirming the shiz outta her. Hopefully I don't overdo it. She does say I get sappy lol. I just think she should be getting to the point that this is who I am and I like her for her. Which is exactly what I told her after she said "maybe you won't like me once you get to know me more." Such horse crap lol. I said "I wouldn't let you get this close if I didn't care for you so deeply. I like you for you and you are just gonna have to keep putting up with me." If you say that you just like hearing it over and over then I'm sure that she is doing the same thing just to make sure I mean it and being consistent.
Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by Scorpiorabbit
I can get you there in about 3 minutes...**adjusts goggles and takes a deep breath**
Well well well....Somebody's full of themselves :p
It'll be the best 3 and a half minutes of your life once you factor in the 30 seconds its going to take me...,
Well then Ill get done in 15 secs and you wont get off...then ill get up go make me a sandwich...come back and eat right in front of you!
Now about this sandwich you speak of...click to expand
is all mine and its good too
Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by Scorpiorabbit
I can get you there in about 3 minutes...**adjusts goggles and takes a deep breath**
Well well well....Somebody's full of themselves :p
It'll be the best 3 and a half minutes of your life once you factor in the 30 seconds its going to take me...,
Well then Ill get done in 15 secs and you wont get off...then ill get up go make me a sandwich...come back and eat right in front of you!
Now about this sandwich you speak of...
is all mine and its good too
You're meanclick to expand
So ive been told....I did leave all the sandwich fixing on the counter, have at it :p
Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by ScorpiorabbitPosted by LostinmyMind11Posted by Scorpiorabbit
I can get you there in about 3 minutes...**adjusts goggles and takes a deep breath**
Well well well....Somebody's full of themselves :p
It'll be the best 3 and a half minutes of your life once you factor in the 30 seconds its going to take me...,
Well then Ill get done in 15 secs and you wont get off...then ill get up go make me a sandwich...come back and eat right in front of you!
Now about this sandwich you speak of...
is all mine and its good too
You're mean
So ive been told....I did leave all the sandwich fixing on the counter, have at it :p
That's more like it!click to expand
Posted by cancerious20
ty for the responses so far....i enjoy your responses Rapunzel, you seem very spot on about things. I was just curious as to what is going on in her head. I really am shocked when she is still surprised that I say the things I say like I don't care about her as I say. It's kinda funny, but I keep affirming the shiz outta her. Hopefully I don't overdo it. She does say I get sappy lol. I just think she should be getting to the point that this is who I am and I like her for her. Which is exactly what I told her after she said "maybe you won't like me once you get to know me more." Such horse crap lol. I said "I wouldn't let you get this close if I didn't care for you so deeply. I like you for you and you are just gonna have to keep putting up with me." If you say that you just like hearing it over and over then I'm sure that she is doing the same thing just to make sure I mean it and being consistent.
Aww thanks. Just know your Virgirl is hard on herself. I can be very tough on myself too! It's like people around us can see how spectacular we are, but its like WE really don't always see it. Overtime the confidence does come. Plus, If your Virgirl has ever dated really bad guys or was in negative, toxic relationships she's going to second guess anything nice you have to say about her. BUT she will get better. I trust my crab now...I know he's not lying about his feelings. I learned that he wouldn't spend all this with me If he didn't love me. He wouldn't stare at me all the time if he didn't think i was beautiful to him. Just know your constant reassurances are healing her
I def will keep reassuring her bc that is how I feel. She says it's sappy, but I'm pretty positive she likes it. We have both agreed that we both love what is going on right now and the direction things are heading. I'm in no rush and obviously neither is she. You virgirls seem to have a way of wanting to know every last detail before you jump into something. It is quite amazing how each week she progresses with opening up and sharing her feelings as well as showing them. 3 week ago I wouldn't dream of her saying "i miss you." Now I have heard it the past 4-5 days. Seems like I'm on the right track lol.
I do believe you when you say the only person she thinks about is me and as long as I can keep this up things will be fine. Last night we hung out and I joked about how her other "boyfriends" mean nothing and she agreed. It is still kinda comical how I know that these guys mean nothing and that I know she is nuts about me. But she doesn't wanna just say it. Do you girls really think its a mystery to us? When we are together it's like no one else matters. I can tell she is nuts about me, but verbally or through text it's like she tries to play it down like I don't know. Says she can't give too much too soon. It's funny. Then she will start talking about future plans a few months down the road. Good times.
I do believe you when you say the only person she thinks about is me and as long as I can keep this up things will be fine. Last night we hung out and I joked about how her other "boyfriends" mean nothing and she agreed. It is still kinda comical how I know that these guys mean nothing and that I know she is nuts about me. But she doesn't wanna just say it. Do you girls really think its a mystery to us? When we are together it's like no one else matters. I can tell she is nuts about me, but verbally or through text it's like she tries to play it down like I don't know. Says she can't give too much too soon. It's funny. Then she will start talking about future plans a few months down the road. Good times.
Outta nowhere today my girl got super short with me. Last night things were fine although we did have to hang out with a guy that likes her (also works with her and is apparently the jealous type) and it made her uncomfortable to be around us both. When we woke up this morning things were fine. She text me today "work was awful." We chatted a few lines, but she was very short with me to the point she ignored me. I can easily tell how she feels through talking to her a few lines of text. It took me a very long time to get her where we are at/were at. She was busy at work and actually had to do some shiz after. I know she is traveling and actually going to visit a group of friends a few hours away.
Two days ago we were both talking about how happy of a place we are in and the place we are headed. Today it seems cold as ice. This is the first time I haven't done anything to disappoint her. I actually text her and said you seem to really be keeping to yourself today. I know you are busy but just wanted to check bc I'm not upset with anything about last night. She said no nothing to do with yesterday. I said I thought things between us were good now something is up. She said it's fine quit worrying. So something is up and as always I'm clueless. I know this bc she said its nothing to do with yesterday, but she says it's fine.
Could be the guy made her life hell at work. She could just be stressed bc she had a lot to do today. Idk if it is something that has to do with me or not, but I can read her like a book and she has admitted this. She also posted a status today that said being hurt so many times you wont even believe it when you may have a good thing. I know she is scared to death about getting hurt or that I reject her. Maybe she feels like we are getting super close and she needs to calm down and its a good time to take some time from me while she is away with friends. I just don't know what to think. Again she says things are fine and to quit worrying and I really didn't do a thing to her.
Two days ago we were both talking about how happy of a place we are in and the place we are headed. Today it seems cold as ice. This is the first time I haven't done anything to disappoint her. I actually text her and said you seem to really be keeping to yourself today. I know you are busy but just wanted to check bc I'm not upset with anything about last night. She said no nothing to do with yesterday. I said I thought things between us were good now something is up. She said it's fine quit worrying. So something is up and as always I'm clueless. I know this bc she said its nothing to do with yesterday, but she says it's fine.
Could be the guy made her life hell at work. She could just be stressed bc she had a lot to do today. Idk if it is something that has to do with me or not, but I can read her like a book and she has admitted this. She also posted a status today that said being hurt so many times you wont even believe it when you may have a good thing. I know she is scared to death about getting hurt or that I reject her. Maybe she feels like we are getting super close and she needs to calm down and its a good time to take some time from me while she is away with friends. I just don't know what to think. Again she says things are fine and to quit worrying and I really didn't do a thing to her.
^^^^^there shouldn't be much to analyze now. What does she have to feel insecure about now?
We have both come so far in this relationship and things have finally reached a new high. Yes she is insecure, but I don't think that is the problem here. Part of the problem yes. When I said "i thought things between us were good, now something is up" and she says "its fine quit worrying." I take that to mean there isn't a problem with me and her. That me and her are still good. Again everything between me and her has been great up until she went to work today.
She has been hinting lately that her life is a mess. She has said those exact words. Last night she said "my life is just so hard." Also saying stuff like she hasn't been going to the gym. Saying her apt. is always dirty, her car is dirty, etc. She seems to have gotten out of her routine. I feel like this past week she has hinted a lot about this stuff and maybe today at work, the stress just put her over the edge. I know when I reach a certain point I want to be left alone and think to myself. Again idk what it is that is bothering her exactly, but I know that this time, for the first time, it was nothing that I did to her. I have been consistent and I keep showing up for her. Just out of the blue she was like this today after work. I also know that she went straight from work to pack to leave and was busy and after a stressful day at work plus all her life problems she has been talking about, maybe she just wanted to leave them all behind.
Usually when we go down this road it takes awhile to get her back to normal again. Things are a bit different this time bc we have spent a lot of time together now and have had sex. I don't want to have build her comfort up again for 3 weeks. It's exhausting. I made a real effort to be myself finally with this girl and things were going great and even though I'm overreacting now it still doesn't make sense to me.
We have both come so far in this relationship and things have finally reached a new high. Yes she is insecure, but I don't think that is the problem here. Part of the problem yes. When I said "i thought things between us were good, now something is up" and she says "its fine quit worrying." I take that to mean there isn't a problem with me and her. That me and her are still good. Again everything between me and her has been great up until she went to work today.
She has been hinting lately that her life is a mess. She has said those exact words. Last night she said "my life is just so hard." Also saying stuff like she hasn't been going to the gym. Saying her apt. is always dirty, her car is dirty, etc. She seems to have gotten out of her routine. I feel like this past week she has hinted a lot about this stuff and maybe today at work, the stress just put her over the edge. I know when I reach a certain point I want to be left alone and think to myself. Again idk what it is that is bothering her exactly, but I know that this time, for the first time, it was nothing that I did to her. I have been consistent and I keep showing up for her. Just out of the blue she was like this today after work. I also know that she went straight from work to pack to leave and was busy and after a stressful day at work plus all her life problems she has been talking about, maybe she just wanted to leave them all behind.
Usually when we go down this road it takes awhile to get her back to normal again. Things are a bit different this time bc we have spent a lot of time together now and have had sex. I don't want to have build her comfort up again for 3 weeks. It's exhausting. I made a real effort to be myself finally with this girl and things were going great and even though I'm overreacting now it still doesn't make sense to me.
Most Virgos are insecure by nature. I personally don't think it has anything to do with you either....she's stressed out. Like moonman said ....let her know you're there for her but give her some space ...she's probably in "how do I fix all the shit in my life" mode. She'll come back around. Just be patient
Posted by cancerious20
It's very obvious how we feel about each other in person and while communicating. She said today that she loves what we got going on and that she is dropping all the other guys she talks to like flies.
LOL!
Posted by cancerious20
Says things are going well and headed in the right direction. That I'm one of her best friends and its way more comfortable than usual. She says she doesn't wanna put all her eggs in one basket yet. Has no expectations. Still doesn't know a lot. etc etc. I know its only been 3 weeks and it's still gonna take awhile till things are possibly official. Just wondering what this process is like and how long it usually takes.click to expand
sounds like every guys dream girl (has no expectations)
You & her are still good. Don't worry.
She is very overwhelmed right now. Just like your girl, when I get overwhelmed everything gets behind: my house cleaning, my gym workouts, my car gets dirty... I just can't do it all. Another thing, I must be left alone for a little while. I have to think/analyze everything! When your girl said she's not upset with you, believe her! She wouldn't lie about that.
If you don't like seeing her upset, the one thing my crab does to make me feel better is giving me a long tight hug. No words & no questions are said between us. I would just embrace him tightly for however long I want. That overwhelming feeling of fears, worries, insecurities becomes an overwhelming feeling of peace, love & closeness. If i start crying on his shoulder I will try to hide the tears because i dont want him to see it...Crying makes me feel embarrassed. So try holding her or hugging her tightly. If she cries don't make it a big scene lol. Cancer hugs are the best!
Whatever has her bothered, she's going to pull through it. We don't always like discussing our problems. Just know she's still crazy about you
She is very overwhelmed right now. Just like your girl, when I get overwhelmed everything gets behind: my house cleaning, my gym workouts, my car gets dirty... I just can't do it all. Another thing, I must be left alone for a little while. I have to think/analyze everything! When your girl said she's not upset with you, believe her! She wouldn't lie about that.
If you don't like seeing her upset, the one thing my crab does to make me feel better is giving me a long tight hug. No words & no questions are said between us. I would just embrace him tightly for however long I want. That overwhelming feeling of fears, worries, insecurities becomes an overwhelming feeling of peace, love & closeness. If i start crying on his shoulder I will try to hide the tears because i dont want him to see it...Crying makes me feel embarrassed. So try holding her or hugging her tightly. If she cries don't make it a big scene lol. Cancer hugs are the best!
Whatever has her bothered, she's going to pull through it. We don't always like discussing our problems. Just know she's still crazy about you
Ya...the only thing I can think of that makes any sense is that she had a awful day at work and it stressed her out big time. Then she had a million other things to do yesterday. Plus all the hints about her life turning upside down as of late has got her all messed up. I actually agree with you that if she says things are fine between me and her and to not worry, I actually believe her. Our communication has been very good.
In the past when usually take breaks. Sometimes don't talk for weeks, but we always end up back in the same place or talking non stop and occasionally seeing each other. This time was very different bc I stopped disappointing her and we both made progress toward being together. See each other all the time and had sex. I have obviously done a good job in the past of not being too crazy about her going into a hole. This time is different tho. We have grown so close to each other and idk how to act. You guys all say be patient and let her come around. Does this mean to just not text or call her? How long will this process take? She is very confusing sometimes about this stuff. She wants all my attention, but not feel pressured. I just don't know how to handle it bc we have been going along so well and talking 24/7 that idk how to handle it. It's like if I don't text her till the middle of the week lets say, she will take that as I'm annoyed by her and don't want to talk to her.
You guys say you like to think and analyze everything. I don't even understand what there is to think about here. Just seems like she is stressed and I'm getting left behind for the time being. I am a very patient person so I can handle this. I just don't like the idea that I can't be myself...and that things seem to not progressing at the moment when before they were. I def think she is still crazy about me. I don't think this is the end of our journey or anything. I'm just annoyed. It could be as simple as she was stressed out and is just annoyed with her life right now so she is blocking everything out for a bit. Eventually will miss me and write me and things will be ok, but who knows. Really don't get why someone she cares for so much she would block out tho.
In the past when usually take breaks. Sometimes don't talk for weeks, but we always end up back in the same place or talking non stop and occasionally seeing each other. This time was very different bc I stopped disappointing her and we both made progress toward being together. See each other all the time and had sex. I have obviously done a good job in the past of not being too crazy about her going into a hole. This time is different tho. We have grown so close to each other and idk how to act. You guys all say be patient and let her come around. Does this mean to just not text or call her? How long will this process take? She is very confusing sometimes about this stuff. She wants all my attention, but not feel pressured. I just don't know how to handle it bc we have been going along so well and talking 24/7 that idk how to handle it. It's like if I don't text her till the middle of the week lets say, she will take that as I'm annoyed by her and don't want to talk to her.
You guys say you like to think and analyze everything. I don't even understand what there is to think about here. Just seems like she is stressed and I'm getting left behind for the time being. I am a very patient person so I can handle this. I just don't like the idea that I can't be myself...and that things seem to not progressing at the moment when before they were. I def think she is still crazy about me. I don't think this is the end of our journey or anything. I'm just annoyed. It could be as simple as she was stressed out and is just annoyed with her life right now so she is blocking everything out for a bit. Eventually will miss me and write me and things will be ok, but who knows. Really don't get why someone she cares for so much she would block out tho.
You can text and call her...just don't bombard her with them right now. She's got enough going on in her life...you def don't want to be added to the list!
The thinking and analyzing is part of our nature...that will never change. Like I said she may not even be analyzing you right now...just the other things in her life...that she feels that are out of control.
You guys will eventually get out of this awkward stage...and learn how each other works.
It took a little while for my cancer friend to understand some of the things I do....now he just accepts that it's me and how I am and vice versa. You guys will get there too.
Go hang out with some friends or do somethings you would like to do..help keep your mind occupied. She'll come around...and as you get to know her more...she won't disappear as much and talk with you about her problems more. We hate burdening people with them...that's probably why she hasn't came to you about them...but she'll tell you ..I'm sure soon.
Hang in there
The thinking and analyzing is part of our nature...that will never change. Like I said she may not even be analyzing you right now...just the other things in her life...that she feels that are out of control.
You guys will eventually get out of this awkward stage...and learn how each other works.
It took a little while for my cancer friend to understand some of the things I do....now he just accepts that it's me and how I am and vice versa. You guys will get there too.
Go hang out with some friends or do somethings you would like to do..help keep your mind occupied. She'll come around...and as you get to know her more...she won't disappear as much and talk with you about her problems more. We hate burdening people with them...that's probably why she hasn't came to you about them...but she'll tell you ..I'm sure soon.
Hang in there
^^^^ I am hanging in there. You don't really understand maybe. We have been talking off and on for 5 years. We just never took the next step bc I was always traveling and she lived 5 hours away. Now I am not traveling and she lives right down teh street. We both know each other so well. On our last "real" talk we both admitted we are more or less best friends.
Usually she disappears bc I disappoint her in some way. I have defeated her several times. That is why this process is taking so long bc I know she is nuts about me, but is super scared to get hurt. She has already told me how scary this is to her and how she doesn't want to get rejected and be left with nothing. Her last relationship hurt her deeply and I know she doesn't want to be hurt again so she is being cautious. All that being said this time I haven't done anything to hurt her. We were in a great place and both admitted this and both looking forward to what is next for us. That is why I'm shocked that 2 days later she is acting odd. It could just be she had a bad day and was busy. That she was going to hang with old friends she hasn't seen in awhile and that is why she was short. However, she did text me not that long ago to ask how my night was. That semi eased my anxiety lol. We chatted a bit and things were ok. I said sorry to question you yesterday, just felt like you were annoyed. She said it's fine, not annoyed. I wrote some other jibber and haven't heard from her in hours. So it was nice she wrote me and she says things are fine so I guess everything is ok. Or at least she is trying to lead me to believe that. I def feel like she is still overwhelmed with life and not relaying that to me, but it's ok. I like that she text me today, but it's basically just a text to let me know she is there bc we small talk for 5 min then its over. Could just be the simple fact it's about her old buddies right now and not me. Just wish she would say that and not act so odd. It's confusing when you talk to someone a certain way for so long and then outta the blue it changes. She has said in the past it's impossible for her to chose between bf's and friends. She can't say no lol. It's usually me that gets shafted here lol. Kinda just need to wait and see how things are once she gets back home tom. Maybe things go back to normal
Usually she disappears bc I disappoint her in some way. I have defeated her several times. That is why this process is taking so long bc I know she is nuts about me, but is super scared to get hurt. She has already told me how scary this is to her and how she doesn't want to get rejected and be left with nothing. Her last relationship hurt her deeply and I know she doesn't want to be hurt again so she is being cautious. All that being said this time I haven't done anything to hurt her. We were in a great place and both admitted this and both looking forward to what is next for us. That is why I'm shocked that 2 days later she is acting odd. It could just be she had a bad day and was busy. That she was going to hang with old friends she hasn't seen in awhile and that is why she was short. However, she did text me not that long ago to ask how my night was. That semi eased my anxiety lol. We chatted a bit and things were ok. I said sorry to question you yesterday, just felt like you were annoyed. She said it's fine, not annoyed. I wrote some other jibber and haven't heard from her in hours. So it was nice she wrote me and she says things are fine so I guess everything is ok. Or at least she is trying to lead me to believe that. I def feel like she is still overwhelmed with life and not relaying that to me, but it's ok. I like that she text me today, but it's basically just a text to let me know she is there bc we small talk for 5 min then its over. Could just be the simple fact it's about her old buddies right now and not me. Just wish she would say that and not act so odd. It's confusing when you talk to someone a certain way for so long and then outta the blue it changes. She has said in the past it's impossible for her to chose between bf's and friends. She can't say no lol. It's usually me that gets shafted here lol. Kinda just need to wait and see how things are once she gets back home tom. Maybe things go back to normal
No I get it lol. Me and my cancer friend have always talked on and off for years now...we knew a lot about each other then. But recently (the last 3 yrs) we've been actually hanging out all the time ...talking everyday. I know alot more about him that I ever have and vice versa. Basically what I'm saying is...now you're on a different playing field...you will learn a lot more about each other and both of your behavior patterns. I know when I was just " phone friends" (even though we worked together and went to school together) I kept somethings at a distance . She also told you..."you may not like me when you get to know me". You are now just getting to know the real her...well maybe not for a while still ..cause everybody shows their true colors later on but still...
We disappear for other reasons too...not from just disappointment from others. Stress...we just need time to recharge...we're in analyzing mode...and other factors.
You just need to chill out...cause you are over analyzing everything more than a Virgo lol. When she becomes more comfortable around you and what I mean by that ...less scared of being hurt ...cause she's still watching your consistency and she's gonna be cautious, but when she gets past all that....she will come to you more about things that are going on and you won't have to worry about where her heads at.
I hope I made some sense...I fell like I was rambling lol
We disappear for other reasons too...not from just disappointment from others. Stress...we just need time to recharge...we're in analyzing mode...and other factors.
You just need to chill out...cause you are over analyzing everything more than a Virgo lol. When she becomes more comfortable around you and what I mean by that ...less scared of being hurt ...cause she's still watching your consistency and she's gonna be cautious, but when she gets past all that....she will come to you more about things that are going on and you won't have to worry about where her heads at.
I hope I made some sense...I fell like I was rambling lol
It takes a lot to get most Virgos to open up and trust...but once we do...you'd amost wish we never had lol. Jk but you will see a different side of us....that loving emotional side that we try to bury deep down inside...just be patient
If you want to stick it out ...because most people don't hang around long enough to see that side..and every Virgo is different when it comes to when that side will be shown. So patients is one key to the relationship with a virgal
If you want to stick it out ...because most people don't hang around long enough to see that side..and every Virgo is different when it comes to when that side will be shown. So patients is one key to the relationship with a virgal
Ya I have known her for 5 years. I feel like I know so much about her. So what you are saying is now things are different. I'm starting to learn about the relationship side of things and I'm getting to know a deeper version of her. "On a different playing field." I guess to me I just think, well I have known you for 5 years what else is there? I never thought about it like you are saying. I guess that is why she says "maybe you won't like me once you get to know me." I always just say we are best friends and I like you for you. She just goes awww. Then I ask if there is a side to her I don't know and she says no, not really. She has also asked how I'm so sure of things. It's almost like she is confused that I like her like I say and show lol. I guess that is why this process is so long. So much insecurity.
It took me a long time to let her get to see this side of me. I am HUGE on trust. Once she got me to this point I am fully open and I have no problem telling her anything and speaking my mind. Obviously she is not there yet. It is hard for me to "chill out" bc things have been going so well lately that when she is distant for a few days I get confused and my mind starts wondering. I don't like it bc she really was beginning to open up. I was almost shocked when she said she missed me almost everyday this past week. Would also visit me after work bc she had to see me. Each week everything got better. It was so amazing. Even when I left her place saturday morning she said see ya on monday. It was cute.
She is def being cautious. Everything points to that obviously. It's like you girls need to know every last detail before you jump into something. Her last relationship tore her apart and I have also, as she puts it defeated and disappointed her on several occasions. I def feel like I was getting her to that loving emotional side. That is why this is so hard. I mean we text today, but it was how I talk to a relative I haven't seen for 2 years.
It took me a long time to let her get to see this side of me. I am HUGE on trust. Once she got me to this point I am fully open and I have no problem telling her anything and speaking my mind. Obviously she is not there yet. It is hard for me to "chill out" bc things have been going so well lately that when she is distant for a few days I get confused and my mind starts wondering. I don't like it bc she really was beginning to open up. I was almost shocked when she said she missed me almost everyday this past week. Would also visit me after work bc she had to see me. Each week everything got better. It was so amazing. Even when I left her place saturday morning she said see ya on monday. It was cute.
She is def being cautious. Everything points to that obviously. It's like you girls need to know every last detail before you jump into something. Her last relationship tore her apart and I have also, as she puts it defeated and disappointed her on several occasions. I def feel like I was getting her to that loving emotional side. That is why this is so hard. I mean we text today, but it was how I talk to a relative I haven't seen for 2 years.
No, I don't think you are rambling. You are making sense to me and I appreciate your help.
I guess I just have to keep doing the same things I have been doing. Keep being myself. Keep showing up and remain consistent and will slowly quell her fears. I am just going to see how things go when she gets home tom. I understand she is gone this weekend and was super stressed when she left. I hope she isn't taking any steps backwards bc I want to con't improving with her. She has said now twice things are fine and she isn't annoyed. I want to believe her, but she just isn't being the girl I know. She is being the girl that is analyzing something (idk what) and keeping her distance from me. Like you said it could just be she is stressed about things in her life. I really don't think it has much to do with me, but something is def up. As I said before I told her this and she said "its fine, stop worrying."
Really all this talk is pointless, but I like it. It really comes down to the simple fact that I am not gonna give up. I'm going to keep being there for her and showing her I care. I am 100% sure she is crazy about me. So crazy it scares the shit out of her. Guess that is why she is analyzing so much and being so cautious. Apparently it is like breaking into a bank with a toothpick to get you girls to come around lol. It just seems simple to me. Every relationship involves risk and the possibility of getting hurt. It's just amazing to me how scared you girls are and how critical you all are. Watching every move and analyzing every single thing. Is this all based on your insecure nature?
I guess I just have to keep doing the same things I have been doing. Keep being myself. Keep showing up and remain consistent and will slowly quell her fears. I am just going to see how things go when she gets home tom. I understand she is gone this weekend and was super stressed when she left. I hope she isn't taking any steps backwards bc I want to con't improving with her. She has said now twice things are fine and she isn't annoyed. I want to believe her, but she just isn't being the girl I know. She is being the girl that is analyzing something (idk what) and keeping her distance from me. Like you said it could just be she is stressed about things in her life. I really don't think it has much to do with me, but something is def up. As I said before I told her this and she said "its fine, stop worrying."
Really all this talk is pointless, but I like it. It really comes down to the simple fact that I am not gonna give up. I'm going to keep being there for her and showing her I care. I am 100% sure she is crazy about me. So crazy it scares the shit out of her. Guess that is why she is analyzing so much and being so cautious. Apparently it is like breaking into a bank with a toothpick to get you girls to come around lol. It just seems simple to me. Every relationship involves risk and the possibility of getting hurt. It's just amazing to me how scared you girls are and how critical you all are. Watching every move and analyzing every single thing. Is this all based on your insecure nature?
I do ask some good questions lol
Just wanted to say that late last night my girl asked me to go to lunch with her today once she got back into town. However, today she did cancel bc she didn't have dinner last night and ate early today. I asked her to stop by and she said maybe later. I said ok. Then asked her what she had going on today. Her response was, getting my life together before the week, gym, grocery, and cleaning my ass off. So like I had suspected she is just stressed out about all the things in her life. Work just stressed her out on Saturday and it sent her spiraling into hell bc of all the other little things out of place in her life. I told her that I'm sure she will get them all done and to not worry about stopping by bc she was so busy.
It is nice that she text me still to let me know she is there. She is def still a bit distant, but not completely like when I disappoint her. I guess there really isn't a problem between me and her like you guys said, we are still good. I like she didn't shut me out completely, at least not yet, while she is putting her puzzle back together. I guess I just need to be patient and see what happens the rest of the week. I'm sure things will be fine. I'm not 100% sure this is the whole problem, but it seems to be the case.
Just wanted to say that late last night my girl asked me to go to lunch with her today once she got back into town. However, today she did cancel bc she didn't have dinner last night and ate early today. I asked her to stop by and she said maybe later. I said ok. Then asked her what she had going on today. Her response was, getting my life together before the week, gym, grocery, and cleaning my ass off. So like I had suspected she is just stressed out about all the things in her life. Work just stressed her out on Saturday and it sent her spiraling into hell bc of all the other little things out of place in her life. I told her that I'm sure she will get them all done and to not worry about stopping by bc she was so busy.
It is nice that she text me still to let me know she is there. She is def still a bit distant, but not completely like when I disappoint her. I guess there really isn't a problem between me and her like you guys said, we are still good. I like she didn't shut me out completely, at least not yet, while she is putting her puzzle back together. I guess I just need to be patient and see what happens the rest of the week. I'm sure things will be fine. I'm not 100% sure this is the whole problem, but it seems to be the case.
@clueless cancer. I do feel what you are saying completely. I'm sure my situation is a bit different than yours. The first time my virgal got distant was the beginning of the year. She had said she was falling for me, but I wasn't reciprocating bc I was leaving the country. We got in some argument, I told her how I really felt then left. She wrote me a month later and we SLOWLY started talking again. After about a month I was coming home again and we were in a really great place. Once I got home I didn't hang with her the first few days and it disappointed her. Into her shell she went. I was basically being too cautious and inconsistent and not really showing or speaking my mind. I decided that I'm done doing that and I'm going to be myself for once. It's odd, with her it was hard to be myself bc I was scared of the reaction I would get. I came on kinda strong and I think it confused her. We didn't speak a few days and eventually she just asked me to hang out about a 3 weeks ago. Since that time we have slowly made great progress. Things had never been better up until when she went to work on Saturday. That is where we stand now. She has been fine today. Not super distant, but def not like she was Friday either. It's so odd how a person can go from telling me how great of a place we were in and looking forward to the future, saying I miss you to all of this sh1t now.
All of that said I do agree with you. She has had to remain patient with me for awhile. She has like me for 5 years. The whole 2 months I was home end of 2012 she was telling me she was falling for me and I wasn't having it bc I was leaving again. I have only had to be patient for her for a week or so leading up to her asking me to hang and then these past few days. I do agree everyone has problems and it doesn't mean they should drop the ones they love. We are not in love though. We def care about each other, but not quite to the love stage. We have never been official, but I feel things were def leading to that stage as of late. I know when I get overwhelmed with life I tend to kinda take a time out. evaluate everything that has been going on in my life and I go into fix it mode. However, I don't block out the ones close to me. I keep those ppl close bc I know they are there for me and I love them. Apparently that just isn't virgos work. They will become cold as ice to basically everyone until they get all the critical thinking in......
All of that said I do agree with you. She has had to remain patient with me for awhile. She has like me for 5 years. The whole 2 months I was home end of 2012 she was telling me she was falling for me and I wasn't having it bc I was leaving again. I have only had to be patient for her for a week or so leading up to her asking me to hang and then these past few days. I do agree everyone has problems and it doesn't mean they should drop the ones they love. We are not in love though. We def care about each other, but not quite to the love stage. We have never been official, but I feel things were def leading to that stage as of late. I know when I get overwhelmed with life I tend to kinda take a time out. evaluate everything that has been going on in my life and I go into fix it mode. However, I don't block out the ones close to me. I keep those ppl close bc I know they are there for me and I love them. Apparently that just isn't virgos work. They will become cold as ice to basically everyone until they get all the critical thinking in......
For now, I can accept this. I accept her for her and I like her for her. This is just something new I have learned about her and virgos in general. From what I understand it takes a long time and a lot of patience and understanding to finally capture a virgo. I also have heard that once you do it's truly amazing. I am banking on that, trust me. I have seen this girl open up and show her emotional loving side before. I just turned away bc of the place in my life I was. It was fantastic though.
I do agree that sometimes it isn't fair. You say "who is loving me" "who is feeding my soul" I guess I really don't know what to say about that. You have to make a decision ya know. You either think it will be worth it or you don't. In my situation I know that I have been unfair to her for a lot longer than she has to me. So again, I'm sure my situation is different. I try to focus on the positive things with us. How amazing our time is together. How amazing our convos are once I get her opening up. Yes, it does seem like we are in a hiccup stage, but I'll just fight through it. There are obstacles all over the place when you are trying to get to where you wanna be. It's how you overcome them that will define you and the relationship. I don't give up easily and obviously neither does she.
You say that I will get tired of it and her at some point. I guess in theory you are right. I don't really know how long I can do all of this. Time will tell. I don't know how virgos think, but from what I read if they are saying things like "i miss you" "i can't wait to see you" then that is a very amazing sign. So, I am getting close it seems. She also said twice that things were fine between us and you guys said to believe her. So, I'm sure things will pick back up. She is leaving town again this weekend so who knows what will happen lol
I do agree that sometimes it isn't fair. You say "who is loving me" "who is feeding my soul" I guess I really don't know what to say about that. You have to make a decision ya know. You either think it will be worth it or you don't. In my situation I know that I have been unfair to her for a lot longer than she has to me. So again, I'm sure my situation is different. I try to focus on the positive things with us. How amazing our time is together. How amazing our convos are once I get her opening up. Yes, it does seem like we are in a hiccup stage, but I'll just fight through it. There are obstacles all over the place when you are trying to get to where you wanna be. It's how you overcome them that will define you and the relationship. I don't give up easily and obviously neither does she.
You say that I will get tired of it and her at some point. I guess in theory you are right. I don't really know how long I can do all of this. Time will tell. I don't know how virgos think, but from what I read if they are saying things like "i miss you" "i can't wait to see you" then that is a very amazing sign. So, I am getting close it seems. She also said twice that things were fine between us and you guys said to believe her. So, I'm sure things will pick back up. She is leaving town again this weekend so who knows what will happen lol
just a update... talked to my girl today about a lotta stuff.
She said she feels like the next guy she gets serious with is gonna be the one she gets married to and wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She said there is still a lot she doesn't know. I said why do you keep saying that bullshit. You know exactly how you feel about me and what you want. She said true. I said you are just crazy about me and it scares the living shit outta you. She goes mayyyyybe. She then said she still talks to one other guy she is interested in, and when she talks to him she feels like she is cheating on me. Then she went on to say she doesn't even know why she talks to other guys bc they don't compare to me.
She went on to say that things with us just seem to be moving very fast. That we need to just chill. She said that she needs us to slow down bc she is still talking to this other guy she is interested in and doesn't wanna feel bad about it. Essentially asking me and her to slow down so she can learn more about another guy. She doesn't want any "what ifs." She said she feels like with us she is gonna need to make a decision soon and isn't ready to that bc of this other guy. She feels like we are basically in a relationship so its hard for her to be talking to someone else so that if me and her aren't as close she wont feel as bad. She said she could try to keep things how they were. I said obv you don't want that. Then she goes "its not that i don't." Then says when she is with me she wants things to be the same just not hang out as frequent. We have hung out like 8x this month, prol like 5 sleep overs. Then I said I'm not really sure how I feel about you telling me we need to chill out so you can let some other guy creep into your life. She got defensive and said "so you are writing me off." She said she told me about the guys from the beginning. I said you are in no way consistent with that, telling me daily they mean nothing compared to me. THen she says she is going to bed....
She said she feels like the next guy she gets serious with is gonna be the one she gets married to and wasn't sure if she was ready for that. She said there is still a lot she doesn't know. I said why do you keep saying that bullshit. You know exactly how you feel about me and what you want. She said true. I said you are just crazy about me and it scares the living shit outta you. She goes mayyyyybe. She then said she still talks to one other guy she is interested in, and when she talks to him she feels like she is cheating on me. Then she went on to say she doesn't even know why she talks to other guys bc they don't compare to me.
She went on to say that things with us just seem to be moving very fast. That we need to just chill. She said that she needs us to slow down bc she is still talking to this other guy she is interested in and doesn't wanna feel bad about it. Essentially asking me and her to slow down so she can learn more about another guy. She doesn't want any "what ifs." She said she feels like with us she is gonna need to make a decision soon and isn't ready to that bc of this other guy. She feels like we are basically in a relationship so its hard for her to be talking to someone else so that if me and her aren't as close she wont feel as bad. She said she could try to keep things how they were. I said obv you don't want that. Then she goes "its not that i don't." Then says when she is with me she wants things to be the same just not hang out as frequent. We have hung out like 8x this month, prol like 5 sleep overs. Then I said I'm not really sure how I feel about you telling me we need to chill out so you can let some other guy creep into your life. She got defensive and said "so you are writing me off." She said she told me about the guys from the beginning. I said you are in no way consistent with that, telling me daily they mean nothing compared to me. THen she says she is going to bed....
i don't say anything. She writes plzzz dont hate me, my mind will change everyday, sorry you have to go through with this. I said stop apologizing for how you feel. Then she goes lets ride it out we still have a lot to learn about each other in real life, i think i should see you thursday. Then goes I'm fucking bipolar, our cyber love is fogging my vision. I told her well we do know a lot about each other and still learning a lot, but you are saying we need to stop this. I said stop thinking so much and just relax man. Things would be a lot easier if you would just go with what you feel and not think so fucking much.
Honestly for the first time ever today I questioned if this girl was worth it. That sucked so fucking bad. I mean 4 days ago she was telling me about how happy she was with me, talking about our future, texting me she missed me daily. Now this. It's too much. I said what changed your mind. She said being away from you for a few days and thinking about things. Im not sure what I should do. I think she actually feels the things she is telling me. That we are moving fast and she feels bad about talking to other guys, but why the sudden change outta no where. Why did the guy mean nothing and now all of a sudden it's we need to slow down bc she doesn't want any what ifs. I can't tell if it's just with us she feels like she will be locked down forever and it scares her or what. Seemed like soon as I told her I didn't like what was going on she was kinda like ooo sh1t I dont wanna lose this guy and was all nice saying we should hang. Girls be crazy yo
Honestly for the first time ever today I questioned if this girl was worth it. That sucked so fucking bad. I mean 4 days ago she was telling me about how happy she was with me, talking about our future, texting me she missed me daily. Now this. It's too much. I said what changed your mind. She said being away from you for a few days and thinking about things. Im not sure what I should do. I think she actually feels the things she is telling me. That we are moving fast and she feels bad about talking to other guys, but why the sudden change outta no where. Why did the guy mean nothing and now all of a sudden it's we need to slow down bc she doesn't want any what ifs. I can't tell if it's just with us she feels like she will be locked down forever and it scares her or what. Seemed like soon as I told her I didn't like what was going on she was kinda like ooo sh1t I dont wanna lose this guy and was all nice saying we should hang. Girls be crazy yo
Posted by cancerious20
I know I'm late to this one, but she may be seeing there's inconsistency with you now like there has been in the past as you said. Virgals are amazing creatures, mine leaves me speechless but the arguments do suck. We butt heads a lot but are slowing working around it. For me and mine, process-wise, about a month to a month and a half before we were official. We f*ck like rabbits too, it's ridiculous. Virgals ALWAYS have expectations. Don't lie to her, be concise and clear. The devotion they have is absolute. But only if they feel you're worth it. Try giving her something she's never had. Charm her and court her. If you guys are sexual, give her an orgasm. I gave mine one on the first night and she said I was the first guy to ever make her climax. Now she's falling for me
On second thought, ignore my post before. It sounds like she's yanking you around. She probably wants to have her cake and eat it too. Stop f*cking her, cut off contact. Don't even say nothing. If she was serious about you, there wouldn't BE any other guy. Any comparing at ALL would be done to ex-boyfriends she never sees. She probably thought you guys could bang for a bit, then move on. She probably caught feelings, but you'll burn everything down getting her to admit that. You'll prob end up feeling worse in the pursuit of closure. Be the better person, and cut the b*tch off.
@cappa... I appreciate your post...
First off she didn't catch feelings. She has had feelings for me for 5 years. I actually saw her today and we talked about a few things. Before we even started talking about everything she was like I just had a bad few days. I told her that it seems to me like she saw us going down a very serious road. We had hung out 5 of 7 days and things were getting more serious by the day. I said I know you love your life (single life) going out all the time, hanging with friends, getting guys attn, and being a social butterfly. She was like yes I do love that. Then I said and it also seems like you love hanging with and being with me as well. She was like yes I love that too. I said basically it seems like you having a really difficult time deciding/balancing out the 2. She said yes, it's very hard for me. I also said something about how I don't think that this other guy is much of the problem. She said well he is part of it, but not the problem. I said every time you say you are talking to someone else you always say the don't compare to me. She was like ya well they don't. I said it seems like to me that you feel like once you get with me that is it for you. You will be tied down forever. She was like ya pretty much.
So basically, she just isn't ready for all that. She is trying to get her cake and eat it to. She wants to go out and have a good time with her life, but also have her life with me as well. I said it seems like you are trying to tell me that you don't want a relationship with me or at least not one anytime soon and you just won't tell me that bc then I might say seeee yaaaa. She was like no that really isn't it, it's just right now I don't know - I want to keep talking to you and see what happens. It's just odd. Next week she could wanna see me for 5 days straight and then right after that be like o shitttt we are getting close, I need to pull back. I said to her that every time we hit a speed bump we always overcome it and then fly away so it's gonna happen again. She said yes, I know. Who the hell knows guys.
First off she didn't catch feelings. She has had feelings for me for 5 years. I actually saw her today and we talked about a few things. Before we even started talking about everything she was like I just had a bad few days. I told her that it seems to me like she saw us going down a very serious road. We had hung out 5 of 7 days and things were getting more serious by the day. I said I know you love your life (single life) going out all the time, hanging with friends, getting guys attn, and being a social butterfly. She was like yes I do love that. Then I said and it also seems like you love hanging with and being with me as well. She was like yes I love that too. I said basically it seems like you having a really difficult time deciding/balancing out the 2. She said yes, it's very hard for me. I also said something about how I don't think that this other guy is much of the problem. She said well he is part of it, but not the problem. I said every time you say you are talking to someone else you always say the don't compare to me. She was like ya well they don't. I said it seems like to me that you feel like once you get with me that is it for you. You will be tied down forever. She was like ya pretty much.
So basically, she just isn't ready for all that. She is trying to get her cake and eat it to. She wants to go out and have a good time with her life, but also have her life with me as well. I said it seems like you are trying to tell me that you don't want a relationship with me or at least not one anytime soon and you just won't tell me that bc then I might say seeee yaaaa. She was like no that really isn't it, it's just right now I don't know - I want to keep talking to you and see what happens. It's just odd. Next week she could wanna see me for 5 days straight and then right after that be like o shitttt we are getting close, I need to pull back. I said to her that every time we hit a speed bump we always overcome it and then fly away so it's gonna happen again. She said yes, I know. Who the hell knows guys.
Wow @Cancerious20. Your story literally made a quick turn!
She seems to be trying to figure out what she wants in a future mate. Personally, I like dating a guy that has potential as a life-mate (not all virgo women are like this). But I hate "shopping" around for men. I just want one! I think she's try to do the same... settle on one guy.
You seem like a great guy & I hope she sees that. I'm on your team
She seems to be trying to figure out what she wants in a future mate. Personally, I like dating a guy that has potential as a life-mate (not all virgo women are like this). But I hate "shopping" around for men. I just want one! I think she's try to do the same... settle on one guy.
You seem like a great guy & I hope she sees that. I'm on your team
@Rapunzel
Since she has said those words to me I have been semi distant. Friday she text me that she missed me. I was shocked. Said she wanted to see me yesterday all day. We had dinner and hung out all night. At dinner she had a lot to say. She said that she is very sorry for how she has been this past week. That she has done a lot of thinking lately and she was gonna try to keep all her focus on me. Went on to say that she is having a very hard time juggling 2 dif ppl, but all signs lead her to me. That what she is doing now obviously wasn't working for her and she has been very inconsistent. So that now she was just gonna try to see where me and her go only and not talk to the other guy anymore.
She said she has been talking to this other guy for 8 months. I literally know nothing else about him and she won't tell me a thing, which I actually find very odd. I have questioned her about it being her x bf bc a lot of things make sense for it to be him but she swears up and down it isn't him. They broke up a year ago, but still talk on occasion and apparently knows we talk and got very mad about it lately. She did say they never had sex. She said she was interested in him, but it seems she is done. She went on to say that the guy doesn't compare to me. That every time we start talking we end up getting to an amazing place and the other guy just can't compete with that. Like we take off and the other guy just gets left behind. Which is why she tried to slow us down in the first place. She constantly says that she hates the "what if" feeling. Like it seems like she is trying to make sure 100% that she wants to come toward me before she does?? idk? I used to think she was just scared to get with me bc she feels like she will be with me forever, but now I'm thinking that it does/did have a lot to do with another guy, which she has said lol. She did say those things scare her tho. Honestly idk what to think. 10 days ago we were flying away saying how great of a place we were in, 5 days ago she was saying we need to slow down so she can learn more about her other interest. Now she is saying she wants to put all her focus on me. She is saying the right things atm but I'm still lost....
Since she has said those words to me I have been semi distant. Friday she text me that she missed me. I was shocked. Said she wanted to see me yesterday all day. We had dinner and hung out all night. At dinner she had a lot to say. She said that she is very sorry for how she has been this past week. That she has done a lot of thinking lately and she was gonna try to keep all her focus on me. Went on to say that she is having a very hard time juggling 2 dif ppl, but all signs lead her to me. That what she is doing now obviously wasn't working for her and she has been very inconsistent. So that now she was just gonna try to see where me and her go only and not talk to the other guy anymore.
She said she has been talking to this other guy for 8 months. I literally know nothing else about him and she won't tell me a thing, which I actually find very odd. I have questioned her about it being her x bf bc a lot of things make sense for it to be him but she swears up and down it isn't him. They broke up a year ago, but still talk on occasion and apparently knows we talk and got very mad about it lately. She did say they never had sex. She said she was interested in him, but it seems she is done. She went on to say that the guy doesn't compare to me. That every time we start talking we end up getting to an amazing place and the other guy just can't compete with that. Like we take off and the other guy just gets left behind. Which is why she tried to slow us down in the first place. She constantly says that she hates the "what if" feeling. Like it seems like she is trying to make sure 100% that she wants to come toward me before she does?? idk? I used to think she was just scared to get with me bc she feels like she will be with me forever, but now I'm thinking that it does/did have a lot to do with another guy, which she has said lol. She did say those things scare her tho. Honestly idk what to think. 10 days ago we were flying away saying how great of a place we were in, 5 days ago she was saying we need to slow down so she can learn more about her other interest. Now she is saying she wants to put all her focus on me. She is saying the right things atm but I'm still lost....
I mean something is up obv.
Things were great. Then she leaves for a few days. Comes back and all I hear now is we need to slow down bc she is still interested in another guy. It really seems like to me she visited this other guy to kinda see what was going on there. She may have felt like maybe there was so she got home and said we need to slow down bc of it. Then thought about it for a few days, saw me last Thursday and saw how much she liked me. IDKKKK fellas. Last Friday she told me that she wanted me to come over and that she missed me, then Saturday we hang out and things are great again. We have talked everyday since. Either way I think she did take the time to realize that all signs lead to me. I believe her when she says that and that she is gonna just try to focus on me now. Again she still has to prove that.
The problem I have is her keeping this other guy from me. She has showed me pics and told me names of other guys she talked to and dropped. None of them were too serious tho. This other guy now obviously is. Every time I mention him she will not say a thing about him tho. If it was some random guy she would say who he is, show me a picture, tell me his name, SOMETHING. It is so odd she won't say a thing. She won't bc she is obviously afraid of what my reaction will be. If it was some random obv I wouldn't care, which makes me feel like it's at least a guy I have heard of and know. That is why I questioned it being her x bf. I feel like it could be one of two dif guys that she knows I wouldn't care for it to be. Both live 2 hours away. So she could of easily went to see them last weekend. This is just very hard for me bc she is obviously hiding something or she would give me some info on the guy. She has sworn up and down that it isn't her x. Whoever the guy is I am almost certain he doesn't live here bc I see all her pics she post on fb and there are never any guys but me in pics. I think she just has to be lying somehow... and now she is building up all the lies and she can't tel the truth now. Nothing makes sense to me. Not having sex with the guy in talking to him for 8 months, not that she is a slut but that def doesn't add up. Plus I was home for in nov. and dec and she was trying to lock me down then.
Things were great. Then she leaves for a few days. Comes back and all I hear now is we need to slow down bc she is still interested in another guy. It really seems like to me she visited this other guy to kinda see what was going on there. She may have felt like maybe there was so she got home and said we need to slow down bc of it. Then thought about it for a few days, saw me last Thursday and saw how much she liked me. IDKKKK fellas. Last Friday she told me that she wanted me to come over and that she missed me, then Saturday we hang out and things are great again. We have talked everyday since. Either way I think she did take the time to realize that all signs lead to me. I believe her when she says that and that she is gonna just try to focus on me now. Again she still has to prove that.
The problem I have is her keeping this other guy from me. She has showed me pics and told me names of other guys she talked to and dropped. None of them were too serious tho. This other guy now obviously is. Every time I mention him she will not say a thing about him tho. If it was some random guy she would say who he is, show me a picture, tell me his name, SOMETHING. It is so odd she won't say a thing. She won't bc she is obviously afraid of what my reaction will be. If it was some random obv I wouldn't care, which makes me feel like it's at least a guy I have heard of and know. That is why I questioned it being her x bf. I feel like it could be one of two dif guys that she knows I wouldn't care for it to be. Both live 2 hours away. So she could of easily went to see them last weekend. This is just very hard for me bc she is obviously hiding something or she would give me some info on the guy. She has sworn up and down that it isn't her x. Whoever the guy is I am almost certain he doesn't live here bc I see all her pics she post on fb and there are never any guys but me in pics. I think she just has to be lying somehow... and now she is building up all the lies and she can't tel the truth now. Nothing makes sense to me. Not having sex with the guy in talking to him for 8 months, not that she is a slut but that def doesn't add up. Plus I was home for in nov. and dec and she was trying to lock me down then.
In the end I'm not really sure what all matters. Bc she says she is gonna try hard to be consistent with me and put all her focus on that and not talking to any other guys to see where we go. So far so good.
I asked her if she was gonna tell the other guy she isn't talking to him anymore she said no, she just wasn't gonna speak to him. Everything is so weird about this guy. I honestly don't know what to do about it. If I con't to question her about it , it's going to drive her crazy. But she def is leaving so many holes. Why can't she just say something about him if she has nothing to hide? So annoying and not fair to me. I have to push on tho I guess. If she is being serious about focusing on me then I guess nothing matters. I don't think it should be this hard.
I asked her if she was gonna tell the other guy she isn't talking to him anymore she said no, she just wasn't gonna speak to him. Everything is so weird about this guy. I honestly don't know what to do about it. If I con't to question her about it , it's going to drive her crazy. But she def is leaving so many holes. Why can't she just say something about him if she has nothing to hide? So annoying and not fair to me. I have to push on tho I guess. If she is being serious about focusing on me then I guess nothing matters. I don't think it should be this hard.
You really have a good, patient heart . Just keep a close watch on her...
Im surprised she discusses other guys. Personally, I know I rarely have long conversations about other guys with my crab. In my mind, other guys don't get my attention at all (no calls, no dates, nothing) Therefore, there's no point in talking about them...i just want my guy!
Overall, I do believe she is trying to keep you calm by not giving too many details about the other guy. We girls know that you would hold grudges & probably research the guy on Facebook & create false scenarios in your head. You crabs are territorial when it comes to your women lol. We don't want you to worry!
But continue being your normal loving self because YOU don't want to be the blame for ruining something that has great potential. BUT make sure you guard your heart!!! Be careful with this Virgal... Trust your cancer instincts. If you feel something is off about this other guy, keep an eye on him.
I really don't want her to hurt you....
Im surprised she discusses other guys. Personally, I know I rarely have long conversations about other guys with my crab. In my mind, other guys don't get my attention at all (no calls, no dates, nothing) Therefore, there's no point in talking about them...i just want my guy!
Overall, I do believe she is trying to keep you calm by not giving too many details about the other guy. We girls know that you would hold grudges & probably research the guy on Facebook & create false scenarios in your head. You crabs are territorial when it comes to your women lol. We don't want you to worry!
But continue being your normal loving self because YOU don't want to be the blame for ruining something that has great potential. BUT make sure you guard your heart!!! Be careful with this Virgal... Trust your cancer instincts. If you feel something is off about this other guy, keep an eye on him.
I really don't want her to hurt you....
One more point...
Be aware that if she really is serious about ONLY dating you, it wouldn't be this difficult. You wouldn't have to encourage her to drop the other guys..... She would just do it.
Just watch her...
Be aware that if she really is serious about ONLY dating you, it wouldn't be this difficult. You wouldn't have to encourage her to drop the other guys..... She would just do it.
Just watch her...
@Rapunzel....
She hasn't really discussed other guys. Usually they only come up when she has dropped them. A week and a half ago she was telling me she was slowly dropping all the guys she talks to. We haven't really had long conversations about other guys either. I asked her if the other guy was her x bf through text, she said no. Then said again at dinner a lot of things lead me to believe it's him and she swore it wasn't. I want to believe her, but idk. It's very hard for me to trust ppl in general. She hasn't ever given me a reason to doubt her tho.
I am not a territorial or jealous guy whatsoever or at least I haven't been in the past. However, something is not quite right in this scenario so that is why I have questions. She is the type of person that would tell me if it was a random John from a bar. She hasn't. I have questioned about who it is bc she is hiding something. She obviously would rather me ask and not trust what she is saying than to just tell me. It's obvious she is scared to tell me.
I will continue to be myself and see where this goes. I will try my hardest to just forget about it and trust that she is only focused on me now. However, I will proceed with caution bc she still needs to prove to me she is going to remain consistent. So far so good. I do believe her when she says she wants to focus on me and that everything leads to believe it's me she should be with. Time will tell. I will guard my heart. I don't think something is off about the other guy so no need to keep an eye on him.
I agree that if she was serious about ONLY me it wouldn't be this hard. I haven't encouraged her to drop anyone. All I tell her is that I know if she does wanna date around it will just make her realize how special we have it and pull us closer. That I am very confident in me and her. She has done the dropping of the guys on her own and apparently just recently decided to focus on just me. Her words were she is gonna try her hardest to just focus on me bc everything leads her to me. I know how she feels about me that isn't the problem. I just know she really wants to make 100% certain it's me she wants to be with that way there are no "what ifs" bc she feels like once she gets with me she is done forever. Her words. Talk daily, says she misses me, text all day. It's only been a few days, but good so far. No matter who she is talking to or what she says we always get to the same amazing place....
She hasn't really discussed other guys. Usually they only come up when she has dropped them. A week and a half ago she was telling me she was slowly dropping all the guys she talks to. We haven't really had long conversations about other guys either. I asked her if the other guy was her x bf through text, she said no. Then said again at dinner a lot of things lead me to believe it's him and she swore it wasn't. I want to believe her, but idk. It's very hard for me to trust ppl in general. She hasn't ever given me a reason to doubt her tho.
I am not a territorial or jealous guy whatsoever or at least I haven't been in the past. However, something is not quite right in this scenario so that is why I have questions. She is the type of person that would tell me if it was a random John from a bar. She hasn't. I have questioned about who it is bc she is hiding something. She obviously would rather me ask and not trust what she is saying than to just tell me. It's obvious she is scared to tell me.
I will continue to be myself and see where this goes. I will try my hardest to just forget about it and trust that she is only focused on me now. However, I will proceed with caution bc she still needs to prove to me she is going to remain consistent. So far so good. I do believe her when she says she wants to focus on me and that everything leads to believe it's me she should be with. Time will tell. I will guard my heart. I don't think something is off about the other guy so no need to keep an eye on him.
I agree that if she was serious about ONLY me it wouldn't be this hard. I haven't encouraged her to drop anyone. All I tell her is that I know if she does wanna date around it will just make her realize how special we have it and pull us closer. That I am very confident in me and her. She has done the dropping of the guys on her own and apparently just recently decided to focus on just me. Her words were she is gonna try her hardest to just focus on me bc everything leads her to me. I know how she feels about me that isn't the problem. I just know she really wants to make 100% certain it's me she wants to be with that way there are no "what ifs" bc she feels like once she gets with me she is done forever. Her words. Talk daily, says she misses me, text all day. It's only been a few days, but good so far. No matter who she is talking to or what she says we always get to the same amazing place....
Even when she gets disappointed by me, after 3 more weeks of talking we are flying away. This time is different bc I have been consistent. This one is on her. All I'm saying is that no matter what is going on in her head at anytime since we have been talking we always get to the same great place. This past time before she slowed things down a week and a half ago we had reached new heights. She slowed us down because of this other guy. Now it seems she is done with that and focused on me. We'll see. It does seem like we are headed down the path to the great place again for sure. She has called me after we hung out on Thursday everyday since. Give it about 2 more weeks and I guess I'll see where I'm at with her.
Do I seem too trusting here? Am I a giant idiot for putting up with all this? I ask this bc I'm a one woman guy. I'm serious about dating this girl. I feel like it will be so worth it once I finally get her over that hump, but it has been a process. I tell her this and she says "it took me 5 damn years to get you here, you can be a little patient with me." Something along those lines lol. It's hard for me bc I like her so much. When we are together it really is written all over her face how smitten she is by me, which even she admits. Once we are away tho she gets to thinking and that is when things sometimes go to hell. I just don't want to be some giant idiot here for putting up with all this crap I think may be going on. Seems like I can't say a word about it, if I do it annoys her, pushes her away. If I hold it in then sometimes I want to explode. Idk what to do sometimes. But thinking about things she is basically always getting her way.
Only good thing is that she said she needed to figure all this sh1t out on her own and she finally has. Focused on me now. Ill keep an eye on her. See where it goes.
Do I seem too trusting here? Am I a giant idiot for putting up with all this? I ask this bc I'm a one woman guy. I'm serious about dating this girl. I feel like it will be so worth it once I finally get her over that hump, but it has been a process. I tell her this and she says "it took me 5 damn years to get you here, you can be a little patient with me." Something along those lines lol. It's hard for me bc I like her so much. When we are together it really is written all over her face how smitten she is by me, which even she admits. Once we are away tho she gets to thinking and that is when things sometimes go to hell. I just don't want to be some giant idiot here for putting up with all this crap I think may be going on. Seems like I can't say a word about it, if I do it annoys her, pushes her away. If I hold it in then sometimes I want to explode. Idk what to do sometimes. But thinking about things she is basically always getting her way.
Only good thing is that she said she needed to figure all this sh1t out on her own and she finally has. Focused on me now. Ill keep an eye on her. See where it goes.
Yes ! I'm glad she's definitely focusing on you completely now
I really want you & her to work. That's great she talks to you daily, misses you & texts all day. She can't get enough of you lol.
You had asked if you seem too trusting... Let me tell you this, you WANT to come across trusting !! Being a one woman man is highly attractive to her. Don't change that.
And I like the statement she said, "you can be a little patient with me" That's about what I told my crab when it seemed like we were taking too long to get together. lol. He continued to work hard like you are doing and now I give him all the love in the world for all of his hard efforts. I believe your girl will be worth it too. Hang in there.
I really want you & her to work. That's great she talks to you daily, misses you & texts all day. She can't get enough of you lol.
You had asked if you seem too trusting... Let me tell you this, you WANT to come across trusting !! Being a one woman man is highly attractive to her. Don't change that.
And I like the statement she said, "you can be a little patient with me" That's about what I told my crab when it seemed like we were taking too long to get together. lol. He continued to work hard like you are doing and now I give him all the love in the world for all of his hard efforts. I believe your girl will be worth it too. Hang in there.
I mean she didn't say 100% she is gonna focus on me. She said she is gonna try her hardest to do so bc all things lead her to me and that what she was doing before wasn't working for her. That is why I am gonna be watching her to see how consistent she remains. I think this is what she wants (for now) - to focus on me and see where we go etc. That doesn't mean in 5 days she won't say something completely different.
We have always talked all day everyday. That has never changed. She has always said she has never talked to anyone the way we talk.
I understand that a woman wants me to come across trusting. I'm sure that is attractive. I really like this girl and obviously wanna see where this goes, but I don't want to be played a fool. I am rather certain that when she went outta town 2 weekends ago she went to see this other guy. I understand that she felt like she couldn't tell me bc of what I might do. Like argue, leave her, etc. At that time we kinda both admitted we were together w/o a label. Like she said just talking to this other guy makes her feel like she is cheated on me. I think she made up where she was going that weekend to keep things level between us. Now she can't tell me a damn thing about the guy bc if she does I will start piecing things together. She knows how I am. Once you cross me in a certain way you are zip to me after that. So she is scared to tell me what really happened bc I'll find out she lied about where she was and now a bunch of other small lies to cover up that big one. I'm about 95% certain on this. So, idk if too trusting is the word, bc just saying this now obviously I don't completely trust her. There are just too many things not right about this situation. I can understand why she would lie tho bc when we are hanging out lots and talking daily it would be very hard for her to say "I am going to visit this other guy I'm talking to for the weekend." I just know she is lying about something and it's very hard for me to deal with right now. So I don't wanna be too trusting and look dumb.
We have always talked all day everyday. That has never changed. She has always said she has never talked to anyone the way we talk.
I understand that a woman wants me to come across trusting. I'm sure that is attractive. I really like this girl and obviously wanna see where this goes, but I don't want to be played a fool. I am rather certain that when she went outta town 2 weekends ago she went to see this other guy. I understand that she felt like she couldn't tell me bc of what I might do. Like argue, leave her, etc. At that time we kinda both admitted we were together w/o a label. Like she said just talking to this other guy makes her feel like she is cheated on me. I think she made up where she was going that weekend to keep things level between us. Now she can't tell me a damn thing about the guy bc if she does I will start piecing things together. She knows how I am. Once you cross me in a certain way you are zip to me after that. So she is scared to tell me what really happened bc I'll find out she lied about where she was and now a bunch of other small lies to cover up that big one. I'm about 95% certain on this. So, idk if too trusting is the word, bc just saying this now obviously I don't completely trust her. There are just too many things not right about this situation. I can understand why she would lie tho bc when we are hanging out lots and talking daily it would be very hard for her to say "I am going to visit this other guy I'm talking to for the weekend." I just know she is lying about something and it's very hard for me to deal with right now. So I don't wanna be too trusting and look dumb.
Posted by cancerious20
She wants her cake and eat it too. She's afraid to lose you, but doesn't want to settle down. She wants to continue doing whatever with this other guy but still keep you on the sidelines so she knows you'll always be there to pick her up when she's down. Don't get me wrong, but it sounds like emotional manipulation. Can you really stand to share her with this other guy? I know the whole you don't know us conversation, but most things ring true no matter the situation. Other guys don't compare but this other guy is part of the problem? That sounds contradictory dude. She doesn't want to be tied down, It says it in your description. You hit the nail on the head with, "I said it seems like you are trying to tell me that you don't want a relationship with me or at least not one anytime soon and you just won't tell me that bc then I might say seeee yaaaa." What I think you should do is distance yourself from her, maybe pick up a girl or something. She'll either get jealous or stop talking to you. Then you'll know if she's for real or not. Of course, she may just further try n manipulate, n step her game up, so i'd say keep the distance going. If she really had feelings, she wouldn't be yanking your chain around.
@cappguy...
Don't get me wrong man, I def feel like is exactly what she was doing. I mean that is pretty obvious. That is why I told her I'm not ok with this. That convo was last Mon/Tues. I was short in text and she noticed, saw her last Thursday and things were fine. Then it was "i miss you" on Friday. Then went out together on Saturday and that is when she said I want to just focus on you. Like I have already said, I told her she has to prove that to me.
Really things haven't changed at all except for the 3 days or so she left 2 weekends ago. It's like she freaked out those days, idk. She comes home and tells me we need to slow down bc she is still talking to someone else. Which like you said she wants her cake and eat it too. I was like um f that. Maybe she was confused or something, but since she has been back home things have been the same and getting better by the day. We hung out 5 of 7 days leading into her leaving, she comes back and says we need to slow down and hang less frequent, but I still wanna see what happens. Now we have hung 4 of the last 6 days. Literally makes no sense. She says one thing and then does another. She text me all day everyday. Has said she misses me everyday the last 6 days or so. She said she took the time to think about things and realized that I am what she wants. So far it seems true. I am def still watching her. I am still distant in a way. I don't really share my feelings much or affirm her. I don't say I miss you first. I haven't asked her to hang out. Everything has been on her.
Idk what to say. I guess time will tell. As of right now it does seem like she is focused on me and not as scared to say how she feels and be more vulnerable. It's just confusing bc she had a speed bump while leaving, but comes back and now we are taking off again (which we always do.) Maybe she really did realize this is it, either way atm I'm still being cautious.
Don't get me wrong man, I def feel like is exactly what she was doing. I mean that is pretty obvious. That is why I told her I'm not ok with this. That convo was last Mon/Tues. I was short in text and she noticed, saw her last Thursday and things were fine. Then it was "i miss you" on Friday. Then went out together on Saturday and that is when she said I want to just focus on you. Like I have already said, I told her she has to prove that to me.
Really things haven't changed at all except for the 3 days or so she left 2 weekends ago. It's like she freaked out those days, idk. She comes home and tells me we need to slow down bc she is still talking to someone else. Which like you said she wants her cake and eat it too. I was like um f that. Maybe she was confused or something, but since she has been back home things have been the same and getting better by the day. We hung out 5 of 7 days leading into her leaving, she comes back and says we need to slow down and hang less frequent, but I still wanna see what happens. Now we have hung 4 of the last 6 days. Literally makes no sense. She says one thing and then does another. She text me all day everyday. Has said she misses me everyday the last 6 days or so. She said she took the time to think about things and realized that I am what she wants. So far it seems true. I am def still watching her. I am still distant in a way. I don't really share my feelings much or affirm her. I don't say I miss you first. I haven't asked her to hang out. Everything has been on her.
Idk what to say. I guess time will tell. As of right now it does seem like she is focused on me and not as scared to say how she feels and be more vulnerable. It's just confusing bc she had a speed bump while leaving, but comes back and now we are taking off again (which we always do.) Maybe she really did realize this is it, either way atm I'm still being cautious.
Posted by cancerious20
@cappguy...
My Virgal did some similar things in the months leading up to use being together. She was constantly unsure of her emotions and would be super sensitive to certain things and situations. She would get mixed emotions and then have conversations that would lead to fights because of these mixed emotions. What put an end to it, was that I put my foot down. My Virgal apparently cared for me deeply, and got her crap in order cuz I was getting sick of it. It took her about a week, but we've definitely moved past that. My point is, if she cares, she'll stop it n not pull these silly antics. If she doesn't, kick her ass to the curb. What's that saying? If you love something, set it free, if it doesn't come back, it was never meant to be? I think that's it.
ya i think that is it...she just has to be sure of her emotions and she isn't just yet.
I spent all day Saturday with her, almost all of Sunday, and then Monday as well. Slept there every night. She told me who the other guy was. We talked about it and she says she is completely done with him. She said a lot that she is scared to commit to me bc she knows its it, done forever. She said she talked to her mom about everything for 3 hours and her moms response was you keep answering your own questions. As in she knows what she wants. Which, I have known what she wants the whole time and that is me. It's weird. She kept saying that we need to slow down, but that lasted for like a day. She couldn't with me and her actions just kept showing it. I think she has finally realized what she is doing. When we talked about things she once again said "I don't know what I'm doing with anyone else, I have known forever that you are what I want, but I just had to make sure of things and figure it out on my own." Things are just amazing right now. I know she is focused on me and wants to be with me. We just need a little more time so she isn't as scared. A little more time so I can keep my eye on her as well, although I am not doubting her anymore on what is going on, but still.
I told her I wasn't quite ready to be official yet. She kinda questioned me about it. Saying "what would be dif" I was like nothing really. She is like then why aren't you ready? We both know that we are together right now, but just not label. She is scared to commit for her reasons and I am as well. She said she needs just another week or so. I don't put a time table on it. 2 of her friends now have told me she is in love with me. Shit is so crazy. For now things are amaazing and I think this will happen within a month or so.. Excited..
I spent all day Saturday with her, almost all of Sunday, and then Monday as well. Slept there every night. She told me who the other guy was. We talked about it and she says she is completely done with him. She said a lot that she is scared to commit to me bc she knows its it, done forever. She said she talked to her mom about everything for 3 hours and her moms response was you keep answering your own questions. As in she knows what she wants. Which, I have known what she wants the whole time and that is me. It's weird. She kept saying that we need to slow down, but that lasted for like a day. She couldn't with me and her actions just kept showing it. I think she has finally realized what she is doing. When we talked about things she once again said "I don't know what I'm doing with anyone else, I have known forever that you are what I want, but I just had to make sure of things and figure it out on my own." Things are just amazing right now. I know she is focused on me and wants to be with me. We just need a little more time so she isn't as scared. A little more time so I can keep my eye on her as well, although I am not doubting her anymore on what is going on, but still.
I told her I wasn't quite ready to be official yet. She kinda questioned me about it. Saying "what would be dif" I was like nothing really. She is like then why aren't you ready? We both know that we are together right now, but just not label. She is scared to commit for her reasons and I am as well. She said she needs just another week or so. I don't put a time table on it. 2 of her friends now have told me she is in love with me. Shit is so crazy. For now things are amaazing and I think this will happen within a month or so.. Excited..
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