Virgo Sun+Moon man, I don't know what to do

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Gem03 on Saturday, November 14, 2020 and has 110 replies.
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I have been friends with him for 4 years now. I always thought of him as platonic and nothing more. But I do remember him trying to get close to me and telling me I'm cute which I brushed off since I didn't think of him in that way at all. Fast forward 2 years later we lose touch for a year.

-December, 2019: We reconnected and started talking for hours on end, until 3AM about everything under the sun. It was great. He would flirt with me a lot and we decided to meet up

-March 2020: we hung out he cooked for me, cuddled and watched movies (NOTHING ELSE). The next time we hung out, same thing happened and I ended up asking him out, he said he'll think about it. Then covid hit, but we were still in contact and it was okay.

-May 2020: we had a talk, he told me he liked me but we decided to just stay friends (reason being I need love in a relationship to be able to have sex, while he usually has sex in a relationship at 2 month mark)

-----He still kept flirting with me and I would keep it at bay since I knew I had to get over him, around this time I moved 30miles away but we still talked and called. He was also always busy whenever i asked to just hang out.----

-October 2020: I got tired of it all so i just had a talk with him and told him that we can't be friends if I actually want to get over him. He tried to get me to not do that but after 10mins of talking he said he understood. Then for 3 weeks there was zero contact between us. I made it clear that I was set on moving on.

-November 2020: He hits me up, asking if I'm okay (out of the blue). We ended up talking and he says I'm important to him and that he cares for me, he told me he wanted to come see me. I said okay. He came, we cuddled, ate pizza and ended up kissing (our first kiss). He asked if I was okay after the kiss which I thought was cute. He left afterward.

He didn't really text me or anything. I reached out and just talked about random things to gauge how we were, he seemed distant. Ultimately, I want to be with him exclusively. Idk if we are on the same page tho. This is my first time dealing with a Virgo sun and moon. Any advice would be helpful.
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Posted by Gem03

I have been friends with him for 4 years now. I always thought of him as platonic and nothing more. But I do remember him trying to get close to me and telling me I'm cute which I brushed off since I didn't think of him in that way at all. Fast forward 2 years later we lose touch for a year.

-December, 2019: We reconnected and started talking for hours on end, until 3AM about everything under the sun. It was great. He would flirt with me a lot and we decided to meet up

-March 2020: we hung out he cooked for me, cuddled and watched movies (NOTHING ELSE). The next time we hung out, same thing happened and I ended up asking him out, he said he'll think about it. Then covid hit, but we were still in contact and it was okay.

-May 2020: we had a talk, he told me he liked me but we decided to just stay friends (reason being I need love in a relationship to be able to have sex, while he usually has sex in a relationship at 2 month mark)

-----He still kept flirting with me and I would keep it at bay since I knew I had to get over him, around this time I moved 30miles away but we still talked and called. He was also always busy whenever i asked to just hang out.----

-October 2020: I got tired of it all so i just had a talk with him and told him that we can't be friends if I actually want to get over him. He tried to get me to not do that but after 10mins of talking he said he understood. Then for 3 weeks there was zero contact between us. I made it clear that I was set on moving on.

-November 2020: He hits me up, asking if I'm okay (out of the blue). We ended up talking and he says I'm important to him and that he cares for me, he told me he wanted to come see me. I said okay. He came, we cuddled, ate pizza and ended up kissing (our first kiss). He asked if I was okay after the kiss which I thought was cute. He left afterward.

He didn't really text me or anything. I reached out and just talked about random things to gauge how we were, he seemed distant. Ultimately, I want to be with him exclusively. Idk if we are on the same page tho. This is my first time dealing with a Virgo sun and moon. Any advice would be helpful.
Sound like he has been patient with you. If you really want to date him, then say so. You have already turned him down more then once, so it's on you to speak up to change that.
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virgo moon?

eww
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Posted by virgoOPPP

virgo moon?

eww
From my experience, all earth moons are ew. They are closed off emotionally, move at a slowwww pace and are stubborn
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Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03

I have been friends with him for 4 years now. I always thought of him as platonic and nothing more. But I do remember him trying to get close to me and telling me I'm cute which I brushed off since I didn't think of him in that way at all. Fast forward 2 years later we lose touch for a year.

-December, 2019: We reconnected and started talking for hours on end, until 3AM about everything under the sun. It was great. He would flirt with me a lot and we decided to meet up

-March 2020: we hung out he cooked for me, cuddled and watched movies (NOTHING ELSE). The next time we hung out, same thing happened and I ended up asking him out, he said he'll think about it. Then covid hit, but we were still in contact and it was okay.

-May 2020: we had a talk, he told me he liked me but we decided to just stay friends (reason being I need love in a relationship to be able to have sex, while he usually has sex in a relationship at 2 month mark)

-----He still kept flirting with me and I would keep it at bay since I knew I had to get over him, around this time I moved 30miles away but we still talked and called. He was also always busy whenever i asked to just hang out.----

-October 2020: I got tired of it all so i just had a talk with him and told him that we can't be friends if I actually want to get over him. He tried to get me to not do that but after 10mins of talking he said he understood. Then for 3 weeks there was zero contact between us. I made it clear that I was set on moving on.

-November 2020: He hits me up, asking if I'm okay (out of the blue). We ended up talking and he says I'm important to him and that he cares for me, he told me he wanted to come see me. I said okay. He came, we cuddled, ate pizza and ended up kissing (our first kiss). He asked if I was okay after the kiss which I thought was cute. He left afterward.

He didn't really text me or anything. I reached out and just talked about random things to gauge how we were, he seemed distant. Ultimately, I want to be with him exclusively. Idk if we are on the same page tho. This is my first time dealing with a Virgo sun and moon. Any advice would be helpful.


Sound like he has been patient with you. If you really want to date him, then say so. You have already turned him down more then once, so it's on you to speak up to change that.
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I mean I did ask him out in march, also he knows my intentions. During our convos I have explicitly stated them. But I don't want to be pushy about it. Like in my experience, if a man wants me he is going to be proactive about it, this is my first time dealing with someone like him (the virgo moon especially).
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Posted by Gem03
Posted by virgoOPPP

virgo moon?

eww


From my experience, all earth moons are ew. They are closed off emotionally, move at a slowwww pace and are stubborn
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i'm okay with all those traits but virgo moons

have sharper tongues than their sun counterparts

and i don't like mouth runners
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Virgos move slow to begin with and you have already rejected him.. he probably doesnt want to rush things incase you change your mind again.
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Posted by Gem03
Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03

I have been friends with him for 4 years now. I always thought of him as platonic and nothing more. But I do remember him trying to get close to me and telling me I'm cute which I brushed off since I didn't think of him in that way at all. Fast forward 2 years later we lose touch for a year.

-December, 2019: We reconnected and started talking for hours on end, until 3AM about everything under the sun. It was great. He would flirt with me a lot and we decided to meet up

-March 2020: we hung out he cooked for me, cuddled and watched movies (NOTHING ELSE). The next time we hung out, same thing happened and I ended up asking him out, he said he'll think about it. Then covid hit, but we were still in contact and it was okay.

-May 2020: we had a talk, he told me he liked me but we decided to just stay friends (reason being I need love in a relationship to be able to have sex, while he usually has sex in a relationship at 2 month mark)

-----He still kept flirting with me and I would keep it at bay since I knew I had to get over him, around this time I moved 30miles away but we still talked and called. He was also always busy whenever i asked to just hang out.----

-October 2020: I got tired of it all so i just had a talk with him and told him that we can't be friends if I actually want to get over him. He tried to get me to not do that but after 10mins of talking he said he understood. Then for 3 weeks there was zero contact between us. I made it clear that I was set on moving on.

-November 2020: He hits me up, asking if I'm okay (out of the blue). We ended up talking and he says I'm important to him and that he cares for me, he told me he wanted to come see me. I said okay. He came, we cuddled, ate pizza and ended up kissing (our first kiss). He asked if I was okay after the kiss which I thought was cute. He left afterward.

He didn't really text me or anything. I reached out and just talked about random things to gauge how we were, he seemed distant. Ultimately, I want to be with him exclusively. Idk if we are on the same page tho. This is my first time dealing with a Virgo sun and moon. Any advice would be helpful.


Sound like he has been patient with you. If you really want to date him, then say so. You have already turned him down more then once, so it's on you to speak up to change that.


I mean I did ask him out in march, also he knows my intentions. During our convos I have explicitly stated them. But I don't want to be pushy about it. Like in my experience, if a man wants me he is going to be proactive about it, this is my first time dealing with someone like him (the virgo moon especially).
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Sorry I misunderstood. For whatever reason I thought it was the opposite. Virgo will long game. This doesn't sound to be the case though.

Be very clear again with him. " I can't just be friends with you atm. You are not giving me the space I need. I'll reach out when I'm good."

But honestly the issue I see is with you. You want to date him seriously and he isn't up for that. It's that simple. He pops up and starts flirting with you and stokes your fire back up, getting you hooked all over again.

Astrology wise, If you want a better answer you are going to need to post his full placements and yours. I strongly question if the issue is with the sun and moon here. You have said anything to make me think there is something to actually be on the fends about on his end.

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Posted by Pulsy
Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03

I have been friends with him for 4 years now. I always thought of him as platonic and nothing more. But I do remember him trying to get close to me and telling me I'm cute which I brushed off since I didn't think of him in that way at all. Fast forward 2 years later we lose touch for a year.

-December, 2019: We reconnected and started talking for hours on end, until 3AM about everything under the sun. It was great. He would flirt with me a lot and we decided to meet up

-March 2020: we hung out he cooked for me, cuddled and watched movies (NOTHING ELSE). The next time we hung out, same thing happened and I ended up asking him out, he said he'll think about it. Then covid hit, but we were still in contact and it was okay.

-May 2020: we had a talk, he told me he liked me but we decided to just stay friends (reason being I need love in a relationship to be able to have sex, while he usually has sex in a relationship at 2 month mark)

-----He still kept flirting with me and I would keep it at bay since I knew I had to get over him, around this time I moved 30miles away but we still talked and called. He was also always busy whenever i asked to just hang out.----

-October 2020: I got tired of it all so i just had a talk with him and told him that we can't be friends if I actually want to get over him. He tried to get me to not do that but after 10mins of talking he said he understood. Then for 3 weeks there was zero contact between us. I made it clear that I was set on moving on.

-November 2020: He hits me up, asking if I'm okay (out of the blue). We ended up talking and he says I'm important to him and that he cares for me, he told me he wanted to come see me. I said okay. He came, we cuddled, ate pizza and ended up kissing (our first kiss). He asked if I was okay after the kiss which I thought was cute. He left afterward.

He didn't really text me or anything. I reached out and just talked about random things to gauge how we were, he seemed distant. Ultimately, I want to be with him exclusively. Idk if we are on the same page tho. This is my first time dealing with a Virgo sun and moon. Any advice would be helpful.


Sound like he has been patient with you. If you really want to date him, then say so. You have already turned him down more then once, so it's on you to speak up to change that.

Yeah I’m reading it and I’m like wasn’t it her that said no??

You must undo your butter
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ya march but she is saying he wanted to have sex outside of a relationship around the 2 month mark. Still though the way it is writen, feels like she is the one chasing him with some kind of hot and cold tactic whether she realizes it or not.
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Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03
Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03

I have been friends with him for 4 years now. I always thought of him as platonic and nothing more. But I do remember him trying to get close to me and telling me I'm cute which I brushed off since I didn't think of him in that way at all. Fast forward 2 years later we lose touch for a year.

-December, 2019: We reconnected and started talking for hours on end, until 3AM about everything under the sun. It was great. He would flirt with me a lot and we decided to meet up

-March 2020: we hung out he cooked for me, cuddled and watched movies (NOTHING ELSE). The next time we hung out, same thing happened and I ended up asking him out, he said he'll think about it. Then covid hit, but we were still in contact and it was okay.

-May 2020: we had a talk, he told me he liked me but we decided to just stay friends (reason being I need love in a relationship to be able to have sex, while he usually has sex in a relationship at 2 month mark)

-----He still kept flirting with me and I would keep it at bay since I knew I had to get over him, around this time I moved 30miles away but we still talked and called. He was also always busy whenever i asked to just hang out.----

-October 2020: I got tired of it all so i just had a talk with him and told him that we can't be friends if I actually want to get over him. He tried to get me to not do that but after 10mins of talking he said he understood. Then for 3 weeks there was zero contact between us. I made it clear that I was set on moving on.

-November 2020: He hits me up, asking if I'm okay (out of the blue). We ended up talking and he says I'm important to him and that he cares for me, he told me he wanted to come see me. I said okay. He came, we cuddled, ate pizza and ended up kissing (our first kiss). He asked if I was okay after the kiss which I thought was cute. He left afterward.

He didn't really text me or anything. I reached out and just talked about random things to gauge how we were, he seemed distant. Ultimately, I want to be with him exclusively. Idk if we are on the same page tho. This is my first time dealing with a Virgo sun and moon. Any advice would be helpful.


Sound like he has been patient with you. If you really want to date him, then say so. You have already turned him down more then once, so it's on you to speak up to change that.


I mean I did ask him out in march, also he knows my intentions. During our convos I have explicitly stated them. But I don't want to be pushy about it. Like in my experience, if a man wants me he is going to be proactive about it, this is my first time dealing with someone like him (the virgo moon especially).

Sorry I misunderstood. For whatever reason I thought it was the opposite. Virgo will long game. This doesn't sound to be the case though.

Be very clear again with him. " I can't just be friends with you atm. You are not giving me the space I need. I'll reach out when I'm good."

But honestly the issue I see is with you. You want to date him seriously and he isn't up for that. It's that simple. He pops up and starts flirting with you and stokes your fire back up, getting you hooked all over again.

Astrology wise, If you want a better answer you are going to need to post his full placements and yours. I strongly question if the issue is with the sun and moon here. You have said anything to make me think there is something to actually be on the fends about on his end.
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I'm thinking of just asking him about the kiss to be honest.
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Should I just ask him what he wants? Like why kiss me and then be distant if he is interested? He isn't flirting either, just is casual about everything.
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Posted by SeaLion

Virgos move slow to begin with and you have already rejected him.. he probably doesnt want to rush things incase you change your mind again.
I never rejected him....I have been honest about my intentions to be with him.
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Update: I ended up asking him what he wants. I told him that if it doesn't lead to a relationship then we need to stop. He said he enjoys my company and that why can't things be the way they are. I said I can't kiss or cuddle with guys who I'm not dating (physical intimacy doesn't come easy for me). He told me that he will stop giving me special treatment and that from now on we are platonic friends.

I asked him what he meant by special treatment. He said "I'll give a loose analogy, when you bump into someone you're like apologize, but if you bump into a child, you would wanna check up on the child. Your innocence and emotions aren't like mine. I would hold my tongue so I never hurt you or irritate you. Its like you had a blanket around you and you were immune."

After that convo, I didn't talk to him for 3 days and then reached out asking if we are cool and he said yes. Now, we only talk if I initiate. Is there any way I can undo this mess?? I'm absolutely heartbroken. I want to be with him
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Stop rejecting him and have sex. You're just ruining everything with your bullshit.
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Posted by Anomalous

Stop rejecting him and have sex. You're just ruining everything with your bullshit.
No.... I don't feel comfortable with having sex unless I'm in love and in a relationship with that person.
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Posted by Gem03
Posted by Anomalous

Stop rejecting him and have sex. You're just ruining everything with your bullshit.


No.... I don't feel comfortable with having sex unless I'm in love and in a relationship with that person.
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Well sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone in order to achieve the harmony you so wish and desire for.

Jump on top that bull and ride it.
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See, you got that scared pussy. Scared pussy ain't gone make the relationship work.
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Sex is if i feel comfortable enough. I don’t so no, is there anything else I can do? Hes being curt as well.
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Like when we talk which I hate
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Either you both want it or you don't. Just reading all the back and forth between you two is tiring. It looks like he had hoped that eventually you two would sleep together. After sleeping with him he might actually want to be in a relationship, who knows? Sex changes things. But if you're set in no relationship/no sex then why not stick to your standards and move on. You haven't been able to change him. Is it worth it all?
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I was once told that there is power in the pussy.

Posted by Anomalous

See, you got that scared pussy. Scared pussy ain't gone make the relationship work.

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I will share the insight because we Virgos can be difficult to figure out. The truth is initially he had no desire to ruin the friendship because we Virgos value our friends for life. We have people we can call after 5 years and it's like time never passed by at all. This in itself is very dear and precious to us because we don't trust people easily.

You stood firm in the fact that you wanted a relationship or nothing at all. He forced himself to accept that and after a time learned that he couldn't be happy in a world without you in it. So he contacted you because his heart longed for your voice and presence.

And now you shared a kiss which could potentially change the entire dynamic of the relationship. He has no desire to lose you but has fears that getting in an intimate relationship with you might not work.

If you're a Gemini, you're fully aware how you and your Virgo can talk for hours never get bored, and he actually keeps up with the conversation. Also, he doesn't mind how often you change the subject. It's beautiful. So why would he risk losing that , losing you because by nature intimacy complicates things??

Does he have feelings for you?? Yes. Deep feelings that can not be replaced. Is he willing to risk losing a real friend on a chance for a intimate relationship which may or may not work??? Maybe... Maybe not..
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Posted by GemCurioThe1

I will share the insight because we Virgos can be difficult to figure out. The truth is initially he had no desire to ruin the friendship because we Virgos value our friends for life. We have people we can call after 5 years and it's like time never passed by at all. This in itself is very dear and precious to us because we don't trust people easily.

You stood firm in the fact that you wanted a relationship or nothing at all. He forced himself to accept that and after a time learned that he couldn't be happy in a world without you in it. So he contacted you because his heart longed for your voice and presence.

And now you shared a kiss which could potentially change the entire dynamic of the relationship. He has no desire to lose you but has fears that getting in an intimate relationship with you might not work.

If you're a Gemini, you're fully aware how you and your Virgo can talk for hours never get bored, and he actually keeps up with the conversation. Also, he doesn't mind how often you change the subject. It's beautiful. So why would he risk losing that , losing you because by nature intimacy complicates things??

Does he have feelings for you?? Yes. Deep feelings that can not be replaced. Is he willing to risk losing a real friend on a chance for a intimate relationship which may or may not work??? Maybe... Maybe not..
Before October he told me he loved me (twice) I only responded with a heart emoji and he asked if I loved him or not. I said no because I don't love him and lying to him about something as precious as that is deceptive. I feel like it hurt him to some extent.

To be honest, when I cut him off in October I never could have imagined he would reach out again. He is a virgo sun+moon+venus. Hard-headed and stubborn, easily able to cut people off, but he reached out and came back.

Then when we talked this month, he said very hurtful things, tried tearing me apart, when I asked what I did to hurt him. He said "I'm not hurt I am irritated."

Now we only talk if I initiate, I don't know what to do to get him back.
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Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl

Either you both want it or you don't. Just reading all the back and forth between you two is tiring. It looks like he had hoped that eventually you two would sleep together. After sleeping with him he might actually want to be in a relationship, who knows? Sex changes things. But if you're set in no relationship/no sex then why not stick to your standards and move on. You haven't been able to change him. Is it worth it all?
I am invested in him, and attached to him. I can't just let go. It is so painful.
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d but not in love? You're causing your own pain. Have sex.

Posted by Gem03
Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl

Either you both want it or you don't. Just reading all the back and forth between you two is tiring. It looks like he had hoped that eventually you two would sleep together. After sleeping with him he might actually want to be in a relationship, who knows? Sex changes things. But if you're set in no relationship/no sex then why not stick to your standards and move on. You haven't been able to change him. Is it worth it all?


I am invested in him, and attached to him. I can't just let go. It is so painful.
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d but not in love? You're causing your own pain. Have sex.

Posted by Gem03
Posted by PlanetMercuryGirl

Either you both want it or you don't. Just reading all the back and forth between you two is tiring. It looks like he had hoped that eventually you two would sleep together. After sleeping with him he might actually want to be in a relationship, who knows? Sex changes things. But if you're set in no relationship/no sex then why not stick to your standards and move on. You haven't been able to change him. Is it worth it all?


I am invested in him, and attached to him. I can't just let go. It is so painful.
click to expand

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Posted by Gem03
Posted by GemCurioThe1

I will share the insight because we Virgos can be difficult to figure out. The truth is initially he had no desire to ruin the friendship because we Virgos value our friends for life. We have people we can call after 5 years and it's like time never passed by at all. This in itself is very dear and precious to us because we don't trust people easily.

You stood firm in the fact that you wanted a relationship or nothing at all. He forced himself to accept that and after a time learned that he couldn't be happy in a world without you in it. So he contacted you because his heart longed for your voice and presence.

And now you shared a kiss which could potentially change the entire dynamic of the relationship. He has no desire to lose you but has fears that getting in an intimate relationship with you might not work.

If you're a Gemini, you're fully aware how you and your Virgo can talk for hours never get bored, and he actually keeps up with the conversation. Also, he doesn't mind how often you change the subject. It's beautiful. So why would he risk losing that , losing you because by nature intimacy complicates things??

Does he have feelings for you?? Yes. Deep feelings that can not be replaced. Is he willing to risk losing a real friend on a chance for a intimate relationship which may or may not work??? Maybe... Maybe not..


Before October he told me he loved me (twice) I only responded with a heart emoji and he asked if I loved him or not. I said no because I don't love him and lying to him about something as precious as that is deceptive. I feel like it hurt him to some extent.

To be honest, when I cut him off in October I never could have imagined he would reach out again. He is a virgo sun+moon+venus. Hard-headed and stubborn, easily able to cut people off, but he reached out and came back.

Then when we talked this month, he said very hurtful things, tried tearing me apart, when I asked what I did to hurt him. He said "I'm not hurt I am irritated."

Now we only talk if I initiate, I don't know what to do to get him back.
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Are you kidding me??

What more do you want here?

Btw virgos lash out at themselves. Negative people will full of project but for most people It's just leaks out on others. Another words You got a fraction of what has been going on inside of him.

I don't understand you. Reading this broke my fucking heart as a Virgo. If you think we stick it out that long and try that much, for something we don't serious care about, you are very sadly mistaken.

What the hell more do you want? Because this doesn't add up anymore. Your holding a lot back in one form or another. Something else is up here.

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Posted by GemCurioThe1

I will share the insight because we Virgos can be difficult to figure out. The truth is initially he had no desire to ruin the friendship because we Virgos value our friends for life. We have people we can call after 5 years and it's like time never passed by at all. This in itself is very dear and precious to us because we don't trust people easily.

You stood firm in the fact that you wanted a relationship or nothing at all. He forced himself to accept that and after a time learned that he couldn't be happy in a world without you in it. So he contacted you because his heart longed for your voice and presence.

And now you shared a kiss which could potentially change the entire dynamic of the relationship. He has no desire to lose you but has fears that getting in an intimate relationship with you might not work.

If you're a Gemini, you're fully aware how you and your Virgo can talk for hours never get bored, and he actually keeps up with the conversation. Also, he doesn't mind how often you change the subject. It's beautiful. So why would he risk losing that , losing you because by nature intimacy complicates things??

Does he have feelings for you?? Yes. Deep feelings that can not be replaced. Is he willing to risk losing a real friend on a chance for a intimate relationship which may or may not work??? Maybe... Maybe not..

^^^^fucking 100% this.

@Gem03 Holy shit you actually got me cussing on here.

If you really don't feel as strongly and want to make his work as strongly as him, then tell him and let him go.

You have been running him through the hurdles for a while now and if he got seriously hurt over this it will take some real time to get over and process and more so to reestablish some kind of relationship.
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Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by GemCurioThe1

I will share the insight because we Virgos can be difficult to figure out. The truth is initially he had no desire to ruin the friendship because we Virgos value our friends for life. We have people we can call after 5 years and it's like time never passed by at all. This in itself is very dear and precious to us because we don't trust people easily.

You stood firm in the fact that you wanted a relationship or nothing at all. He forced himself to accept that and after a time learned that he couldn't be happy in a world without you in it. So he contacted you because his heart longed for your voice and presence.

And now you shared a kiss which could potentially change the entire dynamic of the relationship. He has no desire to lose you but has fears that getting in an intimate relationship with you might not work.

If you're a Gemini, you're fully aware how you and your Virgo can talk for hours never get bored, and he actually keeps up with the conversation. Also, he doesn't mind how often you change the subject. It's beautiful. So why would he risk losing that , losing you because by nature intimacy complicates things??

Does he have feelings for you?? Yes. Deep feelings that can not be replaced. Is he willing to risk losing a real friend on a chance for a intimate relationship which may or may not work??? Maybe... Maybe not..

^^^^fucking 100% this.

@Gem03 Holy shit you actually got me cussing on here.

If you really don't feel as strongly and want to make his work as strongly as him, then tell him and let him go.

You have been running him through the hurdles for a while now and if he got seriously hurt over this it will take some real time to get over and process and more so to reestablish some kind of relationship.
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I want him, I do feel strongly which is why I came here. If I didn't, then this post wouldn't be here. I know I am at fault. How can I get him back? For now I am giving him space for a week and then want to reach out again.
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Posted by Gem03
Posted by GemCurioThe1

I will share the insight because we Virgos can be difficult to figure out. The truth is initially he had no desire to ruin the friendship because we Virgos value our friends for life. We have people we can call after 5 years and it's like time never passed by at all. This in itself is very dear and precious to us because we don't trust people easily.

You stood firm in the fact that you wanted a relationship or nothing at all. He forced himself to accept that and after a time learned that he couldn't be happy in a world without you in it. So he contacted you because his heart longed for your voice and presence.

And now you shared a kiss which could potentially change the entire dynamic of the relationship. He has no desire to lose you but has fears that getting in an intimate relationship with you might not work.

If you're a Gemini, you're fully aware how you and your Virgo can talk for hours never get bored, and he actually keeps up with the conversation. Also, he doesn't mind how often you change the subject. It's beautiful. So why would he risk losing that , losing you because by nature intimacy complicates things??

Does he have feelings for you?? Yes. Deep feelings that can not be replaced. Is he willing to risk losing a real friend on a chance for a intimate relationship which may or may not work??? Maybe... Maybe not..


Before October he told me he loved me (twice) I only responded with a heart emoji and he asked if I loved him or not. I said no because I don't love him and lying to him about something as precious as that is deceptive. I feel like it hurt him to some extent.

To be honest, when I cut him off in October I never could have imagined he would reach out again. He is a virgo sun+moon+venus. Hard-headed and stubborn, easily able to cut people off, but he reached out and came back.

Then when we talked this month, he said very hurtful things, tried tearing me apart, when I asked what I did to hurt him. He said "I'm not hurt I am irritated."

Now we only talk if I initiate, I don't know what to do to get him back.
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Let's be honest. You hurt him with the truth and it's all his ego. He will forgive it in time. We Virgos can marry the devil as long as he/she deals honestly with us, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. We're also very forgiving.

Being a Gemini, us your special powers that always work in your favor to get what you want. It works on us too, even though most of us will never admit it. Use your humor and your charming communication skills. Send him really funny memes... Tell him something in your own words like.. "I miss you booger face.." Then follow it with... "You're starting to piss me off!!"

Something like that in your own words will break the ice and open the door for communication. Then just have a sincere conversation.
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BTW... He's not looking at you as the FWB type. That's huge. With you it's either all or none. Know that

He's not going to sleep with you without some real connection or sincere relationship. And truthfully you don't want him to. Once you're placed in that category there's no coming out of there. You could win the lottery and offer marriage and he still wouldn't be interested. So... Just something to think about.
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Posted by GemCurioThe1

BTW... He's not looking at you as the FWB type. That's huge. With you it's either all or none. Know that

He's not going to sleep with you without some real connection or sincere relationship. And truthfully you don't want him to. Once you're placed in that category there's no coming out of there. You could win the lottery and offer marriage and he still wouldn't be interested. So... Just something to think about.
I have no intention of sleeping with him or anyone without love involved. So yep, I understand where you are coming from.
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Posted by Gem03
Posted by GemCurioThe1

BTW... He's not looking at you as the FWB type. That's huge. With you it's either all or none. Know that

He's not going to sleep with you without some real connection or sincere relationship. And truthfully you don't want him to. Once you're placed in that category there's no coming out of there. You could win the lottery and offer marriage and he still wouldn't be interested. So... Just something to think about.


I have no intention of sleeping with him or anyone without love involved. So yep, I understand where you are coming from.
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Yeah... We all say that... Lol 🤣
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Posted by GemCurioThe1
Posted by Gem03
Posted by GemCurioThe1

BTW... He's not looking at you as the FWB type. That's huge. With you it's either all or none. Know that

He's not going to sleep with you without some real connection or sincere relationship. And truthfully you don't want him to. Once you're placed in that category there's no coming out of there. You could win the lottery and offer marriage and he still wouldn't be interested. So... Just something to think about.


I have no intention of sleeping with him or anyone without love involved. So yep, I understand where you are coming from.


Yeah... We all say that... Lol 🤣
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But I actually mean it so lol. I refuse to be fwb with anyone bc I know I deserve more than fuck on a Tuesday night lol smile
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Posted by GemCurioThe1
Posted by Gem03
Posted by GemCurioThe1

I will share the insight because we Virgos can be difficult to figure out. The truth is initially he had no desire to ruin the friendship because we Virgos value our friends for life. We have people we can call after 5 years and it's like time never passed by at all. This in itself is very dear and precious to us because we don't trust people easily.

You stood firm in the fact that you wanted a relationship or nothing at all. He forced himself to accept that and after a time learned that he couldn't be happy in a world without you in it. So he contacted you because his heart longed for your voice and presence.

And now you shared a kiss which could potentially change the entire dynamic of the relationship. He has no desire to lose you but has fears that getting in an intimate relationship with you might not work.

If you're a Gemini, you're fully aware how you and your Virgo can talk for hours never get bored, and he actually keeps up with the conversation. Also, he doesn't mind how often you change the subject. It's beautiful. So why would he risk losing that , losing you because by nature intimacy complicates things??

Does he have feelings for you?? Yes. Deep feelings that can not be replaced. Is he willing to risk losing a real friend on a chance for a intimate relationship which may or may not work??? Maybe... Maybe not..


Before October he told me he loved me (twice) I only responded with a heart emoji and he asked if I loved him or not. I said no because I don't love him and lying to him about something as precious as that is deceptive. I feel like it hurt him to some extent.

To be honest, when I cut him off in October I never could have imagined he would reach out again. He is a virgo sun+moon+venus. Hard-headed and stubborn, easily able to cut people off, but he reached out and came back.

Then when we talked this month, he said very hurtful things, tried tearing me apart, when I asked what I did to hurt him. He said "I'm not hurt I am irritated."

Now we only talk if I initiate, I don't know what to do to get him back.


Let's be honest. You hurt him with the truth and it's all his ego. He will forgive it in time. We Virgos can marry the devil as long as he/she deals honestly with us, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. We're also very forgiving.

Being a Gemini, us your special powers that always work in your favor to get what you want. It works on us too, even though most of us will never admit it. Use your humor and your charming communication skills. Send him really funny memes... Tell him something in your own words like.. "I miss you booger face.." Then follow it with... "You're starting to piss me off!!"

Something like that in your own words will break the ice and open the door for communication. Then just have a sincere conversation.
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Update: I was thinking of not reaching out to him for this week, give him space. I didn't reach out on Monday or on Tuesday. But Tuesday he reached out to me and then I replied after 5 hours. Just light hearted convo. Then it some naturally transitioned into us talking about what had happened.

I chose to listen to him and respectfully give him my side. Which is what is going on right now. I am trying to show him that I did care about him. That I'm working on my impatience and overthinking which is where this mess stemmed from.
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We ended up talking (no lashing out, no drama)

Him: *jokingly* you're a lil bish, we could be having a sleepover rn (no sex but cuddling, kissing, falling asleep)

Me: I'm not a lil bish, I just wanted you.

Him: I'm a very hard item to obtain, bc of my ex

Me: What do you mean?

Him: She taught me that I need to talk to someone for many many months before being with em

Me: Yeah, thats not a bad lesson. But we were talking for 7 months and not weeks

Him: Not enough months

Me: So like a year?

Him: I want to be in a relationship if it adds something to my life

Me: Thats fair, why did you come back after I cut you off in october?

Him: I just wanted to check up on you.

Me: When were more than friends what did you want?

Him: I just wanted to chill with you whatever happened. Whatever happened.

Me: Oh

He hasn’t responded since. Frankly I don't think I ever meant anything to him. Its like the past months meant nothing to him. He was passing time for the heck of it.
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Posted by Piscivore

Reading this thread has given me a headache.
Imagine actually going through it Sad

I hate it
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Posted by Piscivore
Posted by Gem03
Posted by Piscivore

Reading this thread has given me a headache.


Imagine actually going through it Sad

I hate it


That's why I don't waste my time with Virgos.
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Was your exp similar to mine?
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Posted by Gem03

We ended up talking (no lashing out, no drama)

Him: *jokingly* you're a lil bish, we could be having a sleepover rn (no sex but cuddling, kissing, falling asleep)

Me: I'm not a lil bish, I just wanted you.

Him: I'm a very hard item to obtain, bc of my ex

Me: What do you mean?

Him: She taught me that I need to talk to someone for many many months before being with em

Me: Yeah, thats not a bad lesson. But we were talking for 7 months and not weeks

Him: Not enough months

Me: So like a year?

Him: I want to be in a relationship if it adds something to my life

Me: Thats fair, why did you come back after I cut you off in october?

Him: I just wanted to check up on you.

Me: When were more than friends what did you want?

Him: I just wanted to chill with you whatever happened. Whatever happened.

Me: Oh

He hasn’t responded since. Frankly I don't think I ever meant anything to him. Its like the past months meant nothing to him. He was passing time for the heck of it.

whether or not it meant anything to him is beside the point.

That is some serious backpedaling right there and he is being evasive towards you. You said you would work on your impatience btw🙃

Let him know you are there and go do you. He will step up or continue to be evasive when you press. You know there are other people out there you can invest in...including yourself. Let go.

I know what it is like to have a feverish desire for someone. Let go. Go do you for a bit.
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Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03

We ended up talking (no lashing out, no drama)

Him: *jokingly* you're a lil bish, we could be having a sleepover rn (no sex but cuddling, kissing, falling asleep)

Me: I'm not a lil bish, I just wanted you.

Him: I'm a very hard item to obtain, bc of my ex

Me: What do you mean?

Him: She taught me that I need to talk to someone for many many months before being with em

Me: Yeah, thats not a bad lesson. But we were talking for 7 months and not weeks

Him: Not enough months

Me: So like a year?

Him: I want to be in a relationship if it adds something to my life

Me: Thats fair, why did you come back after I cut you off in october?

Him: I just wanted to check up on you.

Me: When were more than friends what did you want?

Him: I just wanted to chill with you whatever happened. Whatever happened.

Me: Oh

He hasn’t responded since. Frankly I don't think I ever meant anything to him. Its like the past months meant nothing to him. He was passing time for the heck of it.

whether or not it meant anything to him is beside the point.

That is some serious backpedaling right there and he is being evasive towards you. You said you would work on your impatience btw🙃

Let him know you are there and go do you. He will step up or continue to be evasive when you press. You know there are other people out there you can invest in...including yourself. Let go.

I know what it is like to have a feverish desire for someone. Let go. Go do you for a bit.
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I lost him for good??
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Posted by Gem03
Posted by Lostthoughts
Posted by Gem03

We ended up talking (no lashing out, no drama)

Him: *jokingly* you're a lil bish, we could be having a sleepover rn (no sex but cuddling, kissing, falling asleep)

Me: I'm not a lil bish, I just wanted you.

Him: I'm a very hard item to obtain, bc of my ex

Me: What do you mean?

Him: She taught me that I need to talk to someone for many many months before being with em

Me: Yeah, thats not a bad lesson. But we were talking for 7 months and not weeks

Him: Not enough months

Me: So like a year?

Him: I want to be in a relationship if it adds something to my life

Me: Thats fair, why did you come back after I cut you off in october?

Him: I just wanted to check up on you.

Me: When were more than friends what did you want?

Him: I just wanted to chill with you whatever happened. Whatever happened.

Me: Oh

He hasn’t responded since. Frankly I don't think I ever meant anything to him. Its like the past months meant nothing to him. He was passing time for the heck of it.

whether or not it meant anything to him is beside the point.

That is some serious backpedaling right there and he is being evasive towards you. You said you would work on your impatience btw🙃

Let him know you are there and go do you. He will step up or continue to be evasive when you press. You know there are other people out there you can invest in...including yourself. Let go.

I know what it is like to have a feverish desire for someone. Let go. Go do you for a bit.


I lost him for good??
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Letting go means stop putting energy and focus into something.

Doesn't mean cutting out or cutting off or any other extreme measures.
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Posted by MadTwins80

I've seen your threads and you seem to attract this limbo state where you're constantly wishing something would happen whilst at the same time saying "I don't want anything to happen until I'm in love"

You've attracted someone who has the same thing going on and now you're both in nowhereland

Love grows.. it won't grow if you won't risk anything.


You're not wrong but i genuinely hate the talking stage lol.
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Posted by MadTwins80
Posted by Gem03
Posted by MadTwins80

I've seen your threads and you seem to attract this limbo state where you're constantly wishing something would happen whilst at the same time saying "I don't want anything to happen until I'm in love"

You've attracted someone who has the same thing going on and now you're both in nowhereland

Love grows.. it won't grow if you won't risk anything.


You're not wrong but i genuinely hate the talking stage lol.


❤ Just sleep with the guy then

It's got to be better than all this angst

Unless you're literally saving yourself for marriage
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Not bc of marriage
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Us: *having a convo about men and vulnerability*

Me: I don't get it, wanting love is valid, wanting to sleep around is valid and wanting none of those 2 is also valid

Him: Yeah but societyyy

Me: Fuck society

Him: Only sadness and loneliness awaits me

Me: Get a dog...Not much I can do you are emotionally unavailable because of your ex

Him: I KNOW, puppy is too much work and im not home as often, its a lot of responsibility I'm waiting till I'm ready

Me: So you are emotional unavailable for a puppy as well *jokingly*

Him: Im not ready OMG *crying emoji* I don't wanna half ass shit, when I choose to wait its because I see that puppy or person as worth my effort and something I don't wanna ruin. And I KNOW im not ready for that shit. So why would I go in if I can't give it my everything.

Me: I'm right

Him: You just want me to pick you up bring you home and cuddle you up all night. Even tho you know I'm right

Me: I'm sorry about what happened with your ex, I'm happy you are not jumping from girl to girl and taking time off to heal. Before I started liking you I was your friend and I'm still your friend so I support that. As far as you and i go I can't be your cuddle buddy, not just you, for anyone. I think I'd be settling. When it comes to romance or having feelings, relationships either I get all of you or I want none of you. Its very black or white i know. Causal dating or hooking up is not for me either.

Him: You have a very valid point, I wanna try but I'm afraid I will not be ready then its ruined forever. So I'm chillin.

This was 2 days ago, I'm just matching his energy at this point.
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Virgo moons tend to be pessimistic and this one...idk

Seems like he playing a lot of games.

He KNOWS you like him a lot and he enjoys the power trip and getting his ego fed. Your constant reassurance is like a drug to him

He wants all the benefits of a relationship without any thought to the future. As he stated, this could take months if not years of cuddling and YOU giving him what he needs to feel secure. Control

You want some reassurance before you start off on a cuddling session to nowhere. You want some structure.

He wants to keep you chasing him as that is reassurance to him...then maybe he will throw u a bone

He came back to test the waters to see if you were still pining over him and he was right. One message was all it took

He should be trying to win YOU over.

Keep your options open
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Why in bloodys name are y’all talking about his ex !?!

I bet she got tired of strapping up her nikes and running after him only for him to live in the grey area

That’s who he really wants to answer the phone.
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Posted by DMV

Virgo moons tend to be pessimistic and this one...idk

Seems like he playing a lot of games.

He KNOWS you like him a lot and he enjoys the power trip and getting his ego fed. Your constant reassurance is like a drug to him

He wants all the benefits of a relationship without any thought to the future. As he stated, this could take months if not years of cuddling and YOU giving him what he needs to feel secure. Control

You want some reassurance before you start off on a cuddling session to nowhere. You want some structure.

He wants to keep you chasing him as that is reassurance to him...then maybe he will throw u a bone

He came back to test the waters to see if you were still pining over him and he was right. One message was all it took

He should be trying to win YOU over.

Keep your options open


I haven't been to his place since covid started if anything he drove 50 miles to come see me in early November lol. As far as this convo goes I'm not pining I said "Sorry about your issues with your ex, but you and I....either I get all of you or I want no part of you I'm not settling to be your cuddle buddy I can't do it". That was me making it clear what I want and I didn't flirt back either.
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Posted by DMV

Why in bloodys name are y’all talking about his ex !?!

I bet she got tired of strapping up her nikes and running after him only for him to live in the grey area

That’s who he really wants to answer the phone.


Nah he is a whole ass earth sign embodiment he cuts his ex off completely after breaking up. Thats one thing he is good with. He basically has been saying that a relationship isn't right for him bc his ex messed up emotional intimacy for him....so he can't give it his all. He is kind of flirty now but I don't really give that energy back. At one point we talked about my basic cooking skills and

Me: "Shut up I can cook a couple things"

Him: "I came during covid in November and you didn't cook for me you ordered food remember ?? surprise me with some the next time"

Me: "No"

(not aggressive just blatant, I don't cook for men who are not my bf or at least in the talking stage with)
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The ball is in his court ngl but I am setting up small boundaries for the sake of my sanity. Because being cuddle buddies is a waste of my time. I don't do that shit.

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Posted by Gem03

The ball is in his court ngl but I am setting up small boundaries for the sake of my sanity. Because being cuddle buddies is a waste of my time. I don't do that shit.


@DMV said it right, he is getting your validation without him having to make any effort to win it from you. Let him doubt whether you still like him, if you are losing interest. That will make him pursue you if he really likes you. Virgos tend to live in their heads and we can be content with just thinking. If he thinks you like him he will be content with just that. It's when he does not get that vibe from you, he will panic and start thinking about taking some action or making you his priority.
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